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Parent vs Parent: no more piercings for us
When my daughter was about five she began asking to get her ears pierced. Although none of her peers at her Waldorf school had ear decorations, she loved to rummage through my collection of earrings and pretend that she had some in her own ears. For a few months I put Cassidy off by giving her those plastic gem stickers to affix to her ear lobes, this was fun for a bit but she wanted the real thing. I decided to relent; I had gotten my own ears pierced at that age after nearly a year of everyday hounding my mother with, "Is this the day? Are we gonna get my ears pierced? Huh?"
Over the summer when she was six, Cassidy's father and I took her to one of those mall shops and got the deed done. Cass was a bit apprehensive when we got there, but after viewing the possibilities she was determined. She chose the most expensive pair of studs, no surprise there, and proceeded to have her earlobes speared. Not too long after that the trouble began. Cassidy had long hair at the time and the fine, silky strands often became entangled around the post. She hated having the posts cleaned and often insisted on doing it herself. After a few weeks we got the routine down to a minimal amount of drama, but then at an afternoon birthday party a mother was helping Cass out of a painting smock when one of her earrings caught on the fabric edge. Cassidy's earlobe tore and the pain was too much. Cass came home from the party and declared that it was the end of ear baubles for her. We removed the studs, cleaned up her ears and that was that.
I know our experience was not typical of all ear piercings, but I have heard enough similar stories to form the opinion that for many girls ear piercings are best left until an older age. Since abandoning her ears, Cassidy has amassed an extensive collection of body glitter and tiaras. She has never again expressed an interest in earrings, but she does look pretty fabulous in her sparkly skin with a crown atop her head.
Over the summer when she was six, Cassidy's father and I took her to one of those mall shops and got the deed done. Cass was a bit apprehensive when we got there, but after viewing the possibilities she was determined. She chose the most expensive pair of studs, no surprise there, and proceeded to have her earlobes speared. Not too long after that the trouble began. Cassidy had long hair at the time and the fine, silky strands often became entangled around the post. She hated having the posts cleaned and often insisted on doing it herself. After a few weeks we got the routine down to a minimal amount of drama, but then at an afternoon birthday party a mother was helping Cass out of a painting smock when one of her earrings caught on the fabric edge. Cassidy's earlobe tore and the pain was too much. Cass came home from the party and declared that it was the end of ear baubles for her. We removed the studs, cleaned up her ears and that was that.
I know our experience was not typical of all ear piercings, but I have heard enough similar stories to form the opinion that for many girls ear piercings are best left until an older age. Since abandoning her ears, Cassidy has amassed an extensive collection of body glitter and tiaras. She has never again expressed an interest in earrings, but she does look pretty fabulous in her sparkly skin with a crown atop her head.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
6-04-2007 @ 9:19PM
Amy said...My daughter, who is three, does not have her ears pierced. I am constantly being asked when I am going to get this done. My answer is that she can decide that when she gets older. I, myself, got my ears pierced when I was about 6, never wore earrings and so the holes closed. Then again when I was a teenager I got them pierced with two holes in each ear. They haven't closed but I still don't wear earrings. Why do people put so much importance on something so small?
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6-04-2007 @ 10:30PM
Cynthia said...My daughter is only 21 months old, but most of her female peers have their ears pierced. There is no way on earth I would make that decision for her. People in this area are not doing it for any cultural reason, but to make sure everyone knows their baby is a girl, or because they think it looks attractive. I think that is sad.
When Lauren is old enough to ask me to have her ears pierced, and I'm convinced she is responsible enough to take proper care of the piercings, I will take her to a proper piercing studio where the procedure is done with a sterilized piercing needle. Piercing guns are not sterile (they cannot be put in an autoclave and microscopic blood droplets can remain after a quick alcohol swipe), nor are they very accurate. Not to mention I would not allow a minimum wage teenaged mall employee to do it. Call me crazy, but...
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6-04-2007 @ 11:19PM
SKL said...Another point nobody mentions is that not all earlobes should be adorned with jewelry. Some of us grow up to have unattractive earlobes and we don't need to draw attention to them by wearing earrings. I had my ears pierced when I was 12 but later realized that I was better off without either holes or earrings drawing attention to my ears.
This is one reason why I would let my daughters decide what to do with their ears when they are much older. Another reason is the care and maintenance involved. My sister had big problems with infections and can hardly find any earrings that don't cause problems for her. I wouldn't want to risk that in a young child.
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6-05-2007 @ 10:32AM
Leian said...I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced as a child. I ended up doing it myself when I was 17 and even then my mom wasn't happy but given my age and that I was a few months away from going to college, she realized it was time to let that battle go. I have not gotten my daughter's ears pierced. She is 3. Everyone on both sides of her family asked me immediately when I was getting her ears pierced as if it was a given. To them it was but to me it was not. While I don't necessarily plan to put the same age limit on her, I didn't see the rush to do it the minute she emerged from the womb. Earrings are jewelry. I don't see that my daughter needs to run around in jewelry just yet. She doesn't wear makeup or high heels either. I know it's culturally acceptable and not a bad thing per se, but is it necessary? No. Therefore, what is the rush?
If and when she starts asking for it, I'll deal with it then. I'm sure it may come earlier than I'd prefer. But I'm not rushing to do something that she hasn't expressed a desire for. (She has loads of earrings her relatives have given her too, although I've expressly said I'm not doing it yet. If they think that is pressure they really don't know me!)
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6-05-2007 @ 11:05AM
Ann Adams said...The girls started nagging at about 8 or so. I told them if they still wanted them at 10 it could be their birthday present.
They did so we did. One hole in each ear. Anything else will wait until they're adults.
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