Dealing with another child's food allergies
Categories: Health & safety, Eating & nutrition
I've been very open with my family's struggles with food allergies. My son has an immediate reaction to milk, which involves hives and vomiting. It is scary and I'm so thankful it isn't more serious.I have a friend, however, who has a child with a severe life-threatening food allergy. This is the type of allergy where he will die if the product is in his food. He has even had food with undeclared milk (his allergen) in it that almost killed him. She has to be very diligent. She also has a child with a peanut allergy.
When I saw this post at Ask Moxie regarding peanut allergies and parents being (or not being) diligent regarding another child, I started to feel outraged. It is hard to educate someone else. Do you really think people enjoy having to police everything a child eats or could come in contact with?
Peanut allergies are very tricky. For some children, skin contact is enough to cause serious harm, so parents have to be extremely careful when the kids are out in public. So, if you're in a playgroup with a child who has a peanut allergy, bringing a baggie of peanuts probably isn't the best idea, safety wise.
Imagine being the child with the food allergy for a minute. You're five or six. You have to sit by yourself at lunch on some instances. When it is a birthday or celebration at school and the teacher forgot to tell your parents, you don't get a snack. You rarely go to restaurants and constantly hear that you can't have a certain food.
That's something we all take for granted.
As a parent, I constantly have people who don't believe me and have fed my child milk products, only for the allergic reaction to happen. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if someone wouldn't listen in regards to something that could KILL my child.
Yes. A parent needs to be diligent when it comes to their child. But, if this were your child and that bag of treats equated to being fed candy laced with "rat poison," how would you feel?
Is it inconvenient not to bring peanut butter or allergy-free snacks somewhere? Yes, it is. But, isn't a little inconvenience better than the death of a child at school?
Recent Posts
- Tickle monster banned from park (9/07/2008)
- Rickrolling - a surefire colic cure? (9/07/2008)
- Harry Potter and Britney's mom dish about sex (9/07/2008)
- Action Baby Carriers - Product Recall (9/07/2008)
- Tagless tees causing skin problems (9/07/2008)















Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Monica 6-06-2007 @ 10:18AM
Hear hear!
I have a friend who is in his late 30's and STILL gets people who suggest that he can't possibly know that peanuts will kill him. How can we expect a child to understand when adults have such a problem grasping this.
His wife joined us once for a girls weekend away and indulged in her love of peanut butter since he wasn't going to be around. She stopped over 12 hours before returning home. Brushed, flossed and gargled and still his face swelled a little when she kissed him. These are not trivial allergies, and just because we don't understand them is no reason to risk a childs life.
On the other hand, parents who make ridiculous requests like the woman who wanted her mothers neighbors to all cut down their walnut trees so her son could safely play in Grandma's back yard hurt the cause more than help.
Creating safe zones where the kids need to be is one thing. Trying to eliminate something from the whole world when a simpler change (ie, grandma moving to a neighborhood where walnut trees are not in every yard) could solve the problem is an entirely different story.
I'm a big supporter of peanut free schools because of the contact nature of the allergy. I also believe that schools should be carefully monitoring lunch sharing for allergies that are based only on consumption.
Reply
Ethel 6-06-2007 @ 10:54AM
Thank you! I hate the idea that my son could die simply becuase he inadvertently ate a peanut butter cookie or a piece of 12 grain bread - but those are things that I have to be vigilant for becuase he's just 2 years old. I don't mind the projectile vomiting, it alerts me that he came into contact with something bad - I mind that I need to inject him with epinephrine and then take him to the ER to make sure his breathing doesn't stop. The foods that are poison to him can be enjoyed by other kids at home, and the parents can suck it up and understand I want a living and breathing boy!
Reply
daisy 6-06-2007 @ 12:07PM
I think that parents of kids with allergies should make sure that these allergies are tested by a doctor regularly, and communicate that to the other parents. I know so many people with self-diagnosed "allergies" that seem ridiculous (ie the result of eating said food is a headache) that it's a bit like the boy who cried wolf. Okay, maybe you're not crying wolf, but so many others have that many folks are (secretly) suspicious.
Did you see the one comment from the mom with the daughter with a "life threatening" peanut allergy who found out her daughter had eaten a peanut two hours earlier and was okay? Maybe it's time to get that allergy re-tested, you know?
Poor kids and parents, though. It's really tough. It's just going to take a while for everyone else to figure this out.
Reply
Anne 6-06-2007 @ 12:52PM
I am an adult with multiple food allergies, my peanut allergy very severe (a trace can cause a reaction). It is very difficult, and not fun, to make sure that my exposure is always at zero. I've actually had people want to CHALLENGE my allergy--as if I'd prefer winding up in the hospital to simply avoiding something??
Sometimes, though, I do think parents go overboard. Case in point: At the crying room at church one week there was a family (mom and dad) with 2 boys. One was my daughter's age (about 18 months at the time) and the other was about 4. My daughter's sippy cup of milk was on the floor. Well, even though this mother was watching her son and he was no where near my daughter's cup, she asked me to put it away because her son has a milk allergy. Now, I know she didn't know I have allergies and am diligent as well, and I did put the cup away, but I thought that was going a little far... the only way her child would get the cup was if he was near it and she or her husband weren't watching him...
Reply
Katrina 6-06-2007 @ 1:23PM
Daisy-
When you have peanut allergys the reaction is not always the same. thats why it can be so dangerous. My daughter has been tested by a dr and has a severe allergy to peanuts. The reason the testing came to be was b/c of her very different reactions on 3 different occasions. 1st time was with a small bite of pb&j and she had projectile vomit, swelling all over, hives, breathing issues.....her Dr then (lovely military drs) refused to test her they said to just avoid all products with peanuts in them-well DUH! Second time was a hand washed knife (that had just been used to make a pb&j) was used to cut her sandwich an she swelled and got hives. 3rd time ate a whole peanut m&m....1 tiny hive and thats it. She was then tested and her allergy is about as bad as it can be.
Reply
Margaret 6-06-2007 @ 1:35PM
The peanut/nut allergies are very easy to accommodate. This is not the case with a life threatening dairy allergy.
Our preschool room will have to be dairy free next year because of one kid with a dangerous milk allergy. However, there are not a lot of safe alternatives to all milk products. (Studies have shown soy to NOT be so good for kids). A lot of kids don't eat meat, so milk/yogurt is their only protein. Since we are already nut free, this will be difficult to accommodate. But I understand the issue and will keep dairy out of my kids lunches.
How far should a preschool go to deal with something like that? When I asked that my kid not go outside in severe cold due to *his* life threating medical condition (asthma), I was told to get stuffed. They said should not be in school if he can not do the curriculum, which includes a lot of outdoor time, even in bad weather.
Why is it that some allowances are made, but not others?
Just thought I'd put that out there and see what people think.
http://blog.margaretsanford.com
Reply
rebecca Biernesser 6-06-2007 @ 2:07PM
i'm lucky in the fact that as of right now, I do not have a child with allegies to any food (might change was one is only 11 months and the third isn't here yet) and I understand parents concerns, I really do.
BUT I draw the line that schools need to moniter lunch food sharing. When your child is old enough to go to school, like kindergarten and above, they should have an understanding about sharing food. It's hard enough on the schools when there are about 100 or more kids at lunch and classes are changing every thirty mins. The help isn't there or there are only 2 or 3 helpers and even if you do manage to get parent vol. in to help, half do not show up when they are supposed to. ANd please note that I didn't say ignore the allegies, most schools have areas set up for a child to eat at or be to have a safe lunch.
In the case of preschools, it's alittle hard b/c of the children's age, but I think if you can manage to control the situation and talk with the parent about the allegy to help better understand it, things might work out.
Reply
SKL 6-07-2007 @ 1:51AM
Many, if not most, kids have some trait that causes them to have to be left out of certain things. It is not the end of the world. I think it's unreasonable for parents to think that the whole world has to make adjustments so their kid can do everything all the other kids do all the time. That isn't reflective of anyone's real life.
Of course steps should be taken to make sure nobody feeds kids allergens or intentionally touches kids with contact allergens - assuming everyone responsible is aware of the allergy. But when it comes to keeping allergic kids away from other kids' potentially allergenic lunches, it makes more sense to have the allergic kids sit in a designated allergen-free area, rather than make the whole class behave as if they were all allergic. Otherwise, where do you draw the line - how do we decide which allergies / illnesses / phobias / sensitivities / financial restrictions / religious restrictions to cater to, and which kids have to suck it up? It is impossible to cater to every trait that endangers, offends, or inconveniences some kids.
I couldn't afford hot lunches at school, so I had to pack my lunch. I was the only kid who brought lunch in a brown paper bag, and I felt left out. Should the school have canceled the hot lunch program and banned metal lunch boxes, so I would feel better? No. And kids with allergies will not be scarred for life if they have to sit in an allergen-free part of the lunchroom.
Reply