Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Karri-Leigh P. Mastrangelo: Pregnant or Not, I Don't Regret My…
How To Have A Stress-Free Blended Family Vacation
In praise of the average child
Filed under: Big Kids, Development/Milestones: Babies, Day Care & Education, That's Entertainment
Ellie is what I would consider to be an average child. She isn't the star of her soccer team, she didn't start reading at two years old and she is a so-so ballerina. Actually, she might be a less than so-so when it comes to ballet, but that's another story. Ellie tries her best and she feels good about herself. I am proud of her and don't feel the need to exaggerate her accomplishments or push her to do better.
The same cannot be said for all parents. If half of what I hear is true, I am living in a community full of exceptionally bright, athletically gifted children. Maybe it's something in the water? More likely, it's something in the parents.
I have friend who calls me every week to update me on her son's basketball accomplishments. According to her, her 4th grade son is the next Michael Jordan. Another friend is the mother of the fastest 5 year old swimmer in the history of 5 year old swimmers. Another parent, who's child I have never even met, consistently regales me with stories of her daughter's academic dominance over the rest of her pre-school class.
Maybe these kids really are that talented, I don't know. But even if they are, I can't help but wonder why these parents feel the need to tell me all about it as there were some undeclared parental competition going on. These parents never tell stories that involve their kids being anything less than spectacular. Do they think it would reflect badly on them should their child turn out to be only average at something?
If they ask about Ellie (which they rarely do), I reply honestly. She tripped during her soccer game and did a belly flop on the field. She still struggles with which way the letter B is written -- do the bumps go on the left or the right? And she swims well enough to keep from drowning, but speed isn't even a consideration. And I am supremely proud of all of the above.
The same cannot be said for all parents. If half of what I hear is true, I am living in a community full of exceptionally bright, athletically gifted children. Maybe it's something in the water? More likely, it's something in the parents.
I have friend who calls me every week to update me on her son's basketball accomplishments. According to her, her 4th grade son is the next Michael Jordan. Another friend is the mother of the fastest 5 year old swimmer in the history of 5 year old swimmers. Another parent, who's child I have never even met, consistently regales me with stories of her daughter's academic dominance over the rest of her pre-school class.
Maybe these kids really are that talented, I don't know. But even if they are, I can't help but wonder why these parents feel the need to tell me all about it as there were some undeclared parental competition going on. These parents never tell stories that involve their kids being anything less than spectacular. Do they think it would reflect badly on them should their child turn out to be only average at something?
If they ask about Ellie (which they rarely do), I reply honestly. She tripped during her soccer game and did a belly flop on the field. She still struggles with which way the letter B is written -- do the bumps go on the left or the right? And she swims well enough to keep from drowning, but speed isn't even a consideration. And I am supremely proud of all of the above.
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Average Sleep Needs For Children And Adults
In this video, we discuss some health facts, such as how much sleep does an average adult and child need
-
Aftermath of Young Child Marriages in Rural India
In six Indian states, the average age for marrying among rural girls is under fourteen years. Both the young mothers and their babies suffer from this early childbearing. Some mothers and babies die.
-
5 Fun Facts About Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches
Here are 5 fun facts about PB&J - America's favorite sandwich.
Number 5 - It's hard to find a child who doesn't like PB&J. According to TIME magazine, a 2002 survey revealed that an average American child consumes approximately 1500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before leaving high school.
Number 4 - The city of Grand Saline in Texas holds the title for making the largest PB&J sandwich in the world.
-
Woman Undergoes Surgery to Increase Height
A woman undergoes surgery to gain height. A woman has undergone painful surgeries to lengthen her arms and legs.Tiffanie DiDonato, age 32, was born with a condition known as diastrophic dysplasia, which causes the person to have shorter limbs, while the rest of their body is of average proportion. She had the controversial surgery as a child, where her bones were broken and positioned to regrow longer than before.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
6-06-2007 @ 11:30AM
tammy said...I'm the "average" one in my life circle. I have a decent job with decent pay, a decent car, a decent home and a pretty decent life. The only extraordinary thing I have going for me is my kid. She's amazing because she's average. She's not "below average", or developmentally slow, or lagging behind in anything. She hit's her major milestones like clockwork and although I have fears about her (as all mothers do) she's turning out to be just fine. I thank God everyday for my average child.
Reply
6-06-2007 @ 11:36AM
Ginny said...Mothers of average children UNITE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love your attitude. It matches mine. :)
Reply
6-06-2007 @ 12:36PM
ang said...I have a really incredible mother who raised my brother and I with love and fairness eventhough we are both very different people. I've asked my mother many times about her attitude while watching us grow, and she said that she was very happy to see us do the things an average child would do. She never pushed us nor compared us to other children. She never bragged about our accomplishments nor compained about our difficulties.
As a result, I never felt like I was doing things for her approval, my victories were my own, and I've carried that independence into my marriage and family.
I think we should praise our average children because we've been blessed with the priviledge for caring for these little growing people.
http://kingkongdumplings.blogspot.com
Reply
6-06-2007 @ 1:48PM
rebecca Biernesser said...Personally I think the moms or parents that like to brag about how amazing their child is/are are missing something in their own lives and feel the need to make up for it in their child's. But that's just me.
I love the fact that I have a somewhat smart mouth, goffy running, active 5 yr old and a normal, smiling, screaming while happy 11 month old.
Reply
6-06-2007 @ 3:04PM
Kelly said...Sandy, of all the wonderful bloggers at ParentDish, you are my favorite. I love your writing and I particularly love this post. Bravo!
Reply
6-07-2007 @ 9:21AM
Manda said...I agree with so many of the reponses here! especially rebecca. I know a person who is constantly talking about how amazingly off the charts their kids are and isn't it just fabulous that little jimmy can do things that a 20 year old can do? ooooooohh wow. I always just say, oh well that's wonderful! and they never ask about my kids either! If you are going to call someone to talk about your kid, you should ask about thier child too!
Reply
6-07-2007 @ 2:07AM
SKL said...I'm not sure parents are telling you good things about their kids because they feel competitive with you. I think it's natural to feel proud when your kid accomplishes something exceptional, and it's normal to want to share that emotion with your friends. Friends should be happy about each other's joys, not negative.
Every kid is exceptional in some way and every parent is thrilled when they discover their kid's exceptional qualities. If not, I think that's indicative of some problem in the parent. Like the parent is competitive with the child or something. I have heard of such indifference to one's kids's accomplishments only in the context of patterns of child abuse.
Remember, a parent's pride in his kids' exceptional qualities is always weighed against worry / disappointment about areas where they fall behind. Our culture favors sharing proud moments over sharing disappointments. If you secretly entered a writing contest and then won, would you tell more people than you would tell if you entered and lost? This doesn't mean you are in competition with your friends.
Reply