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Discipline another parent's bratty kid, and you might get arrested
Filed under: Development/Milestones: Babies
While most children are -- of course -- lovely at all times, occasionally you run into a little brat whose behavior seems inspired by TV cartoon villains. I'm usually at loss when I meet such a child, as I don't feel comfortable disciplining someone else's kid, and -- as a man -- am always afraid other playground parents are about to call the police whenever I'm around.
That brings us to Charles Schmidl. He was at an ice-skating rink with his 5-year-old son, when -- according to his own account and witness testimony -- a 10-year-old boy started trying to hit them with hockey pucks. After 40 minutes of trying to find the boy's parents or a security guard, Schmidl gave up, took matters into his own hands, and removed the little brat from the ice.
Of course that's when the little brat's mother showed up. She witnessed the removal, and promptly had Schmidl arrested.
Now Schmidl faces charges of harassment and endangering the welfare of a child -- crimes that, technically, he probably committed. But a community of parents is rallying around a man who -- they feel -- was just protecting his son from a kid whose behavior was out of line, and out of control.
While, in most cases, I'd be furious if another parent disciplined my child -- let alone in a way that was physically aggressive. But if she was 10-years-old, and deliberately putting someone else in danger, she should expect that there would be consequences for her actions.
But did this man take it too far? Is it better to stand up to aggressors -- even children -- or simply to walk away, and avoid the confrontation?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
6-08-2007 @ 10:45AM
Ethel said...Sigh. The author of the article (Esmonde) says "I do not condone putting hands on somebody else’s kid." Well, if that kid were going to die or was hurting someone else's kid, would you be then impelled to act? Kids don't have good sense, they're kids, and when there is no adult around to take action its our responsibility to act. Otherwise we have a bunch of pre- and post-adolescents running around who feel comfortable acting out as long as a parent is not present and they will be the adults that no one wants.
Schmidl at not point is portrayed as doing anything other then removing a punk from a shared space where he was being aggressive. I am pretty sure that doesn't constitute anything other then removal. If he were stuffing the kid into a car, a bathroom, or taking him away it'd be another matter. If he were spanking the kid then that would be something else. It's not okay to let kids act out and be tyrants at the cost of the world's peace. It's not fair to the child or anyone else, and the kid's mom is going to find that out the hard way I believe.
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6-08-2007 @ 11:46AM
Karen said...I discipline other people's children all the time. My husband is often warning me of lawsuits.
I sure hope this goes the right way. I hope the mother gets charged for neglect in leaving her child. He committed NO crime.
Some children respond to verbal, cues but others need to be physically removed and redirected. If a parent is absent, it is the RESPONSIBILITY of the other adults to do this.
I have removed children from slides when they insisted on going up and knockig small children down. I have removed children from lines when they refuse to go to the back and wait like the rest of the children. I have stopped children from hitting each other while they sit at a table in the food court of the mall.
Truthfully, I do not care if the parent is upset. If they are not present and dealing with their own child, somebody has to. You cannot allow a child to continue this type of behavior. I just have to hope that my response is reasonable and if the police do get involved that I will prevail.
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6-08-2007 @ 11:48AM
caitlin said...I find it amazing that he would be arrested for simply removing a bully from the ice. When I saw the title, I thought the guy was going to be like one of my friend's dads - free with his belt when he felt any kid was acting up.
This guy tried to find another resolution for 40 freaking minutes. Where was security? If you want to talk about endangering a child's welfare, I think a 10 year old deliberately shooting hockey pucks at a 5 year old falls under that. That boy should count himself lucky that he didn't injure the younger boy and bring a lawsuit upon his family.
They always tell you to stand up to the bullies, but why is it whenever someone does, they find themselves in trouble instead of the bully?
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6-08-2007 @ 11:57AM
anderson_michelle_lee said...Though I would be furious if someone else put their hands on my child, I would have to realize that I should have been watching my own kid. I make sure that at all times I am keeping an eye on my kids, if not so they do not get into trouble, then so I can make sure they are safe. At ten the child is not at an age where they should be unsupervised anyways. They should know how to act, but can not be expected to always act perfectly. The parent should have been tossed as well as the kid. I am not saying I would have reacted the same way as the man, being a mother I would have wanted to have some words with his, and would have found a way to do so. To all the people (including some of my relatives unfortunately) if you can not control your kids, keep them inside so they do not ruin things for the people that do.
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6-08-2007 @ 12:03PM
CLM said...If the mother could not be found for more than 40 minutes, shouldn't SHE have been the one arrested for endangerment?
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6-08-2007 @ 12:45PM
Ginny said...I highly doubt his claim that he tried for 40 minutes to find his parents or a guard. What kind of skating rink doesn't have a skate guard on the ice at all times? None that I've ever been to. He was wrong. He should have notfied SOMEONE. He COULD have notified the snack bar person to get help for gosh sakes.
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6-08-2007 @ 1:31PM
Michele W said...To me it is plain and simple that if I am not doing my job and watching my child like I should be and he is putting someone into danger or doing something that is wrong then i would hope that someone would stop him before someone did get hurt. Sorry if you are not watching your child then oh well your fault. you are the ignorant one by not watching your child. If talking to the kid dont stop it then you do what you got to do. The bullys mom should be trhe one in trouble for not watching her child. Some kid hit my child or did something and thier parents were no where to be found you better believe that I would take it into my own hands.
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6-08-2007 @ 1:34PM
Carrie said...Some people in our society speak out of both sides of their mouth. On the one hand they say "it takes a village", then when the village appears, they sue.
Betcha this punk kid's Mom will vote for Hillary.
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6-08-2007 @ 2:10PM
SKL said...I hope the community gives that dad a medal. That mom just wants to sue and make a few bucks off her rotten kid. I really wish someone would charge her with something, so she would learn a lesson before she does more damage.
Like others said, watch your brat and teach him to be courteous, or others will take matters into their own hands. Would it have been better for all the kids to start pummelling this brat with their hockey sticks? Because that's what would have eventually happened had an adult not stepped in. And that's probably what will happen next time. And nobody's going to feel the least bit sorry for that kid's bruises, except himself and his mommy.
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6-08-2007 @ 2:36PM
rebecca Biernesser said...In response to Ginny's comment and not trying to ditch teenagers at the sametime, There could have been someone watching the rink or supposed to have been watching the rink...This dad could have very well tried looking for the mom or someone for 40 mins. and he even has other people saying he did. It's not his fault that the people working there "might" not have been doing their jobs...
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6-08-2007 @ 3:26PM
Ginny said...rebecca - wouldn't it have been smarter for him to just remove his kids and take them up to the office to complain? Everyone knows you shouldn't manhandle other children!
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6-08-2007 @ 4:40PM
Nicola said...If my son were being a bully and abusing his fellow skaters, I would have NO problem with somebody taking action. Right now he's three, so I'm usually on hand, but in the odd instance where I might be involved in something else or looking the other way, I am always VERY appreciative of another parent stepping in should he hit/push/kick another child or simply need a hand with something.
I have always felt that it is our job as the adults to mind the children. Some parents have many children and, though I don't love the fact, they can't be everywhere at once. If a child is in need of assistance or a child is acting out and in need of discipline, it is the job of any available adult present to be the ADULT and do something about it.
I cannot believe that this woman could be so selfish. She should have thanked the man, grabbed her son by the collar, and hauled him out of there.
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6-08-2007 @ 5:11PM
Stephanie said...The mother was out of line. But somehow it doesn't surprise me that someone who can leave her child at the ice rink for that long would be furious that someone else did her job and then want to press charges.
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6-08-2007 @ 5:18PM
Sabrina said...Frankly I cannot understand why he's being charged with endangering the welfare of a child, I sort of get the harassment because I'm sure he'd asked the kid to stop at least once, and he *did* touch the kid. But are they charging him for endangering his own kid by sticking around that rink for 40 minutes, or endangering the 10 year old by removing him from the ice? I didn't hear that the kid had bruises, or broken bones, or even that one swung at the other. I don't see anything dangerous sounding there. I don't discipline other people's kids because I am afraid of just this sort of thing happening. I tend to do the whole "passive-agressive" thing. If I can see their parents and their parents are refusing to discipline, or even occasionally glance at their child, and I have tried to bring their attention to the issue, I will leave....loudly telling my screaming baby or toddler that we need to leave X place because some of the kids here aren't very nice. *shrug* The parents who are likely to ignore their child's bad behavior are also the ones who think I'm "witchy" for talking like that about their precious baby. *sighs*
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6-08-2007 @ 6:34PM
SKL said...In response to the poster who commented that the father should have just removed his OWN kids and complained, that is so unfair. Why should courteous people always have to adjust to the cavemen? What message does that teach children?
I think kids should be taught that if they act like that kid acted, then ANY adult has a right to "manhandle" them. (That's what I was taught.) The whole culture of "let kids be tyrants" disgusts me.
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6-08-2007 @ 8:59PM
Mamacita said...Take care, everyone: Bad mothers with bad kids generally have the upper hand when it comes to winning cases, NOT being expelled from school, and getting special treatment, exceptions, and a spot on the team.
Nice people have better manners than to make such demands. Nice people assume that such things are earned. Guess again.
This kind of mother assumes her child can do no wrong. That is one of the worst things a parent can every think.
They won't raise their kids themselves, but they won't let anybody else do it, either.
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6-09-2007 @ 1:51AM
Uly said..."While, in most cases, I'd be furious if another parent disciplined my child "
I don't understand this attitude at all, I must say. I'd rather my nieces (or my kids, if I had any) knew that misbehaviour would get them in trouble *even if I'm not there*. (As it happens, my parents and my nieces' parents agree with this view.)
We've already got trouble with the older niece thinking she can get away with things by saying "Don't look at me!" or "You don't see me, so it doesn't count!". I should only hope that if she were doing something so stupid and dangerous, and nobody were there for some reason, she'd be stopped!
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6-09-2007 @ 2:59AM
rebecca Biernesser said...Ginny, the point is He shouldn't have HAD to remove his child. HIS CHILD was not doing anything wrong. I most certainly am not going to punsh my child b/c of someone esle behavior, let it be another one of my children or a child I don't know. I also don't think anyone esle should either. The blame falls on the absent mother and the little boy with the "b/c I can" attiude. And it's about time someone stood up and said "nope, ain't taking it"
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6-09-2007 @ 3:06AM
rebecca Biernesser said...and according to the article, he grabbed the child and took him off the rink. I would bet a dime to a donut, he just took an arm and said come on. I don't think he threw the child over his back and took off, that would be manhandling. AND it's not the first time this child has had issues at the ring, nor is it the first time the boy had police deal with him and his family. So when you stop and think about it, it's not just the Mother from nowhere, it's the ring's fault also.
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6-09-2007 @ 12:22PM
Leian said...Knowing how litigious and ridiculous our society has become, I would probably just have taken my child off the ice rink, while explaining very loudly tha't SOME people don't know how to act. No, it doesn't solve the problem of the 10-year old's behavior, but it does remove MY child from harm's way, which is the primary concern of any parent. But I would be furious and would continue to look for some authority person to report the little monster to. I cannot believe that the rink was unmanned for THAT long - wasn't there a ticket person even, or a person renting skates, someone to whom he could have complained, someone who could have helped him find a security person?
I would have WANTED to remove that kid, but I would have feared that exactly what DID happen would happen. And I don't need the stress of a lawsuit because some parent refuses to monitor or properly raise their child. I've learned that our society has gone completely nuts and backwards and I walk away from certain confrontations because the possibility of physical harm from some bullying completely irrational lunatic adult is not worth it...
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