Mentally preparing for the family visit

Yike, Sandy! *I'm* that sister with a bunch of rowdy loud kids (and the laid back attitude that is a lifesaver)!

Some recommendations: Put away the obvious breakables and the really special stuff. Love your toaster oven? Maybe grab a cheapie one from a thrift shop. Keep a sheet on the couch and chairs as slipcovers.

If they're acting like hooligans, stop them. This can be done nicely and effectively. Just do it before you are at the end of your rope. If yoou can master the old Electric Company lady yelling, "QQuuuiiiiiiii-eeeetttttttttttttt!!", that can be humorous and still get your point across.

Get/borrow a tent for the backyard. This will give them some space from each other, too. It can be used as an incentive for helping out with chores...best helpers of the day get to sleep out there.

Brief your sister ahead of time that you will want them to go somewhere...all of them without you. Maybe without Ellie, too. You can have your house to yourself for a few guaranteed hours. I suspect that your sister won't be offended. If you, Ellie and your husband can leave for a few hours and give them the run of the house, that would be nice, too. Your sister will probably appreciate the time to take a break from worrying that they're getting on your nerves.

Cleaning a small living area that's filled with people is hard. If you can take all the kids to the pool/park/elsewhere, your sister can use the time to straighten up and reorganize. I don't know how long the visit is going to be, but every 2-3 days would be a Godsend, especially the day before they are leaving.

It's ok to institute a "no talking" time. Even if it's just for 3 or 5 minutes. If you make self-depracating remarks like "your poor old Aunt Sandy can't handle the noise". This has a dual purpose...they'll be quiet for the 5 minutes (use a timer!) and they'll remember that if they get too loud, total silence will be imposed.

Maybe hit Walmart and grab a set or two of the plastic summer cups. Give a color to each kid and that color is the only one they use. Two or three each...one for water all day long. It can stay on the counter or kitchen table. One or two others for juice or milk. Those two go in the dishwasher after being used.

If you can think of some ways to minimize the noise and chaos, implement them early on, before the resentment grows. Ellie will need that, too. She'll need time to herself. Maybe not much because she'll be enjoying her cousins, but prepare her to recognize it and tell you about when she needs it.

Have fun!

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I would have to say that above all esle, do not wait till the last minute voice your feelings on a matter. If they get too loud, stop them before it gets bad.

I don't know your sister, but I know my sister in law and she does not like someone esle telling her children what to do, so I would discuss the rules of your home with her before they get there and let her know up front, you will be discussing them with her children so that there are no questions.

I would also find things for the older ones to do while the younger ones have a down time and vice versa.

The only other thing I would say is to discuss meals with your sister before she gets there. Easy one pot dishes are the best with large crowds and you don't want to always be the one doing the clean up either.

Good Luck

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Wow, Sandyone, you sure covered the gamete here!

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Sandyone hit the nail on the head. I'm also that parent w/3 kids. I feel like we bring chaos wherever we go (7 1/2, 5 1/2, and 3). When we travel and visit friends I'm constantly on edge, worried about my kids' behavior, worried about stressing out our hosts, and fully aware of the noise level.

Rebecca above mentioned her SIL doesn't like other people telling her kids what to do. There's a fine line - between helping and butting in - if your sister's talking to kids, disciplining or whatever - don't jump in - it's not helpful. But that doesn't mean you can't remind them what the rules are -

I also totally agree about going over house rules. Kids understand that different homes have different rules and it's better to lay it out so everyone knows.

Finally - put away anything you love. I'll bet it'll upset your sister more than you if one of her kids breaks it.

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