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Parent vs Parent: No tattoos, temporary or otherwise
Filed under: Relatives
A couple of years ago, at a family vacation, one of my sisters-in-law was passing out temporary tattoos to her kids as well as to the rest of the kids. Despite my protests, Jared ended up with one and I kind of had a meltdown. I bolted for the hotel room in disgust, trying to keep from getting physically sick.My response was likely more dramatic that was necessary due to the extreme exhaustion that comes from trying to watch a three-year-old in the swimming pool while at the same time dealing with a one-year-old and the lack of sleep that comes with having an infant. Part of the reason that I got upset at all is my utter dislike for make-up -- a long time ago, in another life, I used to have to wear it and I find it utterly disgusting. Tattoos, especially the temporary ones are, to me, extremely gross.
The bigger part of the problem, however, is the deeper significance of tattoos to me and in my family. It is quite possible that my paternal grandparents and my aunts each had one. The concentration camp at Auschwitz, where it is believed my father's family was taken and eventually killed, tattooed prisoners for ease of identification, especially after death.
To me, tattoos are a symbol of oppression, of enslavement, of mass murder. I can't see them as anything else. To voluntarily brand oneself is unthinkable to me, especially for such a trifling and empty reason as fashion. That's why I have no tattoos, why I don't let my kids have temporary tattoos, and why they won't be getting any real tattoos.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
6-11-2007 @ 12:13PM
Ally said..."...and why they won't be getting any real tattoos."
Well, yes - until they do. What then?
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6-11-2007 @ 12:31PM
Tia said...Ally: Shut up.
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6-11-2007 @ 12:45PM
Amanda said...I have three tattoos, all of which I hate, and now I have two beautiful girls, both of which I hope I can persuade to never get a tattoo!! what's a girl to do :(
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6-11-2007 @ 1:49PM
Amy said..."Trying to keep from being physically sick"? That's way overboard. If you are that adament about tattoos, temporary or permanent, I can almost guarantee atleast one of your children will get a huge one. A temporary butterfly tattoo CANNOT be compared to concentration camp tattoos.
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6-11-2007 @ 2:39PM
Matthew Rossi said..."To me, tattoos are a symbol of oppression, of enslavement, of mass murder. I can't see them as anything else."
My grandfather worked as a doctor in the American Army and was stationed at one of those camps. He saw and told me of horrors unimaginable, and I respect your pain, but people have been getting tattooed voluntarily for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. The face tattooing of the Maori, the neolithic tattoos on the mummies, etc etc. To argue that those temporary tattoos were in any way symbolic of the ka-tzetnik is to demean the horrible truth of the concentration camps, as far as I'm concerned.
I have tattoos. I didn't get them for fashion, I got them to incorporate my worldview and beliefs into my very skin. Not everyone gets a tattoo for the same reasons. Finally, Ally makes a good point, as does Amy - such an overreaction to something as trifling as a temporary tattoo is practically soliciting your children to get one once they get older and more rebellious.
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6-11-2007 @ 2:40PM
Marcia said...I agree with Amy. I have 1 tattoo and I still like it. It's a butterfly on my lower back. While I agree having a tattoo that is unable to be covered for professional reasons might be out of the question, why stop kids from expressing themselves? They could draw a design on their skin with washable marker, would be about the same as a temporary tattoo. I just don't see how you compare the purity of being a kid to something so awful.
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6-11-2007 @ 5:15PM
Victoria said...I want to hear more about wearing makeup in another life.
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6-12-2007 @ 12:33AM
SKL said...Roger, I think you're conflicted and your kids are going to be very confused. On one hand you don't want your kids to learn the religion of your father (or of anyone else). On the other, you expect them to connect a meaningless symbol such as a tattoo to your deep feelings about the persecution of your parents' religion. Do you see the inconsistency? Are you sure you really know your own beliefs well enough to pass them on to your children? Since your objections to religion are generally based on the fact that it's all about people giving too much importance/meaning to inanimate symbols and man-made rules, you should seriously question your own extreme reaction to a material thing that reminds you of a remote symbol from the past.
I think permanent tattoos are dumb and I would forbid my minor kids to get them. But temporary tattoos are harmless. They let kids experiment with the idea of tattoos, so they know what they are "not" missing, and this probably reduces the chance that they will get a permanent tattoo, if their parents give them good reasons not to.
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6-12-2007 @ 4:01AM
Anji said..."and why they won't be getting any real tattoos."
Well I would hope not, until they are eighteen, because that's illegal. Once they're eighteen however, there's not a damn thing you can do to stop them... are you really planning on being so overbearing as to forbid your ADULT offspring from making their own decisions?
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6-12-2007 @ 7:09AM
Dawn said...My DH had a rather extreme reaction the first (and only) time my brother put a temp tattoo on our 1st child when he was about 6 months old, but it was only because he was worried about the toxicity of the ink. Of course, my brother has probably a 1/2 dozen or so tats and my DH has none, so it was probably from that too.
In any event, your extreme reaction and as you said, coupled with exhaustion, was your OWN. I do not understand the extreme reactions of these commentors, though, but I do see that is why people who blog have to censor what they say for fear of being lambasted by a bunch of STRANGERS.
So what if he doesn't want his kids to have temp tattoos. Every parent does things differently, and you wouldn't appreciate it if someone came and told you that YOUR decisions were stupid. Lay off.
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6-12-2007 @ 10:42AM
Meegs said...Everyone is entitled to their own options, and you certainly have every right to dislike tattoos. But such an extreme physical reaction seems over the top.
Tattoos had been around long before they were used for such horrible purposes by the Nazi's... and they will be around long after you or I are gone. I have 5, and plan on getting another one soon. I love every single one and do not regret them for a moment. They are not "fashion"... they are an outward expression of my inner self. They are me having complete control over my body, me being completely liberated.
And while maybe it didn't come out nicely, Ally did have a point... what if one of your children does decide to get a tattoo one day, when they are older and legally able to do so?
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6-12-2007 @ 12:00PM
Ginny said......so I guess you won't be buying your kids the home tattoo kit that they sell at toy stores, eh?
My husband has a bunch (lost count) of tattoos but I don't have any and I doubt very much I'll ever get one. Still, I don't think temporary tattoos will hurt anyone and in fact, my son has had hours of fun tattooing himself and the rest of the family with his Tattoo kit. Roger, I understand your disgust with tattoos, but, they were around before the halocaust and just because they were used for evil then, doesn't mean tattoos are evil.
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6-12-2007 @ 2:39PM
Anji said...Dawn, Roger is a big boy now - I'm sure he can handle it. If someone doesn't want to hear the opinions of others or feels they "have to censor what they say for fear of being lambasted by a bunch of STRANGERS", they shouldn't be writing a blog. Roger's a mature adult, I'm sure he can cope with a few dissenting opinions from strangers.
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7-12-2007 @ 5:58PM
Namsen said...I see no pressing point in receiving a permanent tattoo. It will only be there to bother you when you grow older.
Some of you have argued that "they are to express your thoughts, or your beliefs, or your inner self", but what better way is there to make these things known than with your very lips? What becomes of your butterfly tattoo when your liking for butterflies is replaced with a dislike instead? What becomes of your skull tattoo when you retire out of the local bikers' club and become a youth pastor?
Your thoughts and beliefs and your innerself - your _character_ - will change (with all the rest of the world). How much more simple is it to take your past off of your lips than it is to take it off of your skin!
Children are a curious people - always eager to try something new ...especially something forbidden. So if you forbid them to receive permanent tattoos, be sure to demonstrate why. Do not just explain why, but _demonstrate_. Put a colored hairtie on their wrist - their favorite color - and say, "This is the reason I don't want you to get a tattoo." Tell them to keep that hairtie on their arm - no matter what. Tell them never to take it off. And then let time pass, even if they come to you a hundred times and ask, "What is this teaching me?"
Wait. Wait and observe. In the beginning, their opinion on the hairtie might have been neutral or apathetic, maybe even a little positive. But one day they will come to you, asking if they can remove it. Blue is no longer their favorite color. They don't like the fact that the tie is on their right wrist. They are sick of waking up and seeing it - and knowing they're not supposed to take it off. Whatever their reasoning may be, tell them that it's there permanently and that it is not to be removed.
Let them hate it for a week or so more before coming to them and repeating, "This is the reason I don't want you to get a tattoo." Now you have demonstrated your reasoning and now they are able to understand your words more completely, having experienced a similar circumstance.
What of temporary tattoos, though? Well, for all of you who stand for expressing your "innerself" using your skin, these tattoos are good choices. ;) Children bearing temporary tattoos should only receive those that are appropriate for their age, and they should first understand the principle of real tattoos.
Otherwise, there is little harm in a four-year old girl bearing a "Dora The Explorer" tattoo if she wishes it. Afterall, the mark will be long gone before the girl turns five and develops an infatuation for Spongebob and an indifference for her fourth year hero.
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