Parent vs. Parent: Tattoos, temporary and otherwise

The other day I was walking through the park when I overheard a group of parents bemoaning one of their son's choice of hairstyle. One of the others commented, in a very "I should be so lucky" tone that her grandson had asked his mother about getting a tattoo.

To many, tattoos are the ultimate symbol of rebellion. It hardly seemed rebellious to me for that kid to ask his mom about getting a tattoo. What else was she going to say but no?

I remember the first time I decided I wanted a tattoo. I was a freshman in high school. It had to do with some boy or other. I was smitten with him, and he had a tattoo. He showed it to me, and I fell in love. not with him, rather with his tattoo--with the notion of getting one. the seed, as they say, had been planted.

But I didn't rush right out to get one. The legal age to get tattoos in my home state was eighteen years of age. I decided, rather rationally, I thought, for a youngin' anyway, to wait until I was legally able to get a tattoo. I figured if I still wanted one by that time then I would get it (plus I'd have the money saved up). Tattoos are permanent, after all. Guess I wasn't that rebellious either.

After my eighteenth birthday I did still want a tattoo, so I got one, at a place where it was noted they did tattoos "while you wait." Not sure there's any other way to go about getting a tattoo other than while you wait, but hey, who was I to question such logic?

Since then I've gotten several other tattoos. None of them, I should note, are in places easily seen unless I'm wearing a bikini. Maybe that comes from having to hide that first one from my parents. See, they weren't really into the idea of my getting one. Not sure how they found out my interest in the matter, but the answer was a resounding no. I'm sure they figured I would do what I wanted anyway...which I did.

Which brings me to my point. You can tell your kids not to get tattoos (whether or not they ask you) the same way you can tell them not to drink and not to smoke, not to do drugs. Kids are going to do what they want to do, one way or another. Studies have essentially proven that telling your kids not to do these things does have an impact in their decisions, at least as far as not smoking, drinking and doing drugs. I doubt much if any research has been done as to whether children were more likely to not get a tattoo if the parent advised against it. My parents certainly did and look where it got them!

While I would strongly caution my child against getting a tattoo, the fact that I have four of them might make me a teensy bit of a hypocrite. It would be one thing if I regretted getting any of my tattoos, but I don't. I love them--even after all these years; even though that first one is on my tummy and stretched just like the rest of it as my pregnancy progressed.

Am I condoning getting tattoos? No, I'm not. What I am saying is that kids will be kids. Don't be surprised if you say no and your kid does what he/she wants anyway. Be frank with him/her about the permanence and risks of tattoos. Tell him/her that while tattoos can ultimately be removed doing so can be quite painful.

Better yet, remind him/her that since practically everyone has one these days, maybe they're not so cool after all. Even little kids are running around with fake Sponge Bob tattoos and the like. Shouldn't that make tattoos uncool? And yet it doesn't.

Despite everything you do, if your teenager decides he/she wants a tattoo, he/she will find a place that will do the deed, whether or not it's legal. Just pray he/she gets one from a reputable source, and that it's a tiny ladybug on the wrist instead of a large screaming, flaming skull-headed dragon across his/her entire back like my friend Becky did after high school.

Trust me, I rue the day when I get wind my teenage son has a tattoo or a piercing or god knows what else. I'm not going to tell him he can't get these things but I will warn him of the consequences. My guess is that by the time he's of age to be interested in such things they'll no longer be in fashion. Mommy and her four tattoos will be utterly uncool.

Hey--there's an idea. Get a tattoo YOURSELF. If that doesn't deter your child from getting one I can't imagine what will.