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Not all dads are genetic

Filed under: Just For Dads, Relatives, Activities: Babies

I've "met" Rachel's genetic dad once. We attended the funeral of her aunt and he was there. I shook his hand and mumbled something usual about "sorry for your loss" and went on to the next person. Rachel and I have been together for nearly twenty years and her brother and I have been best friends for twenty-five, including living together for eight.

Her stepfather, on the other hand, I know well. He, a professional musician, gathered some of the best jazz musicians in the area (and in San Francisco, that's saying something) and played during the reception at our wedding. He helped me put together a storage shed in the backyard. Okay, truth be told, he did most of the work. Without him, Jared's new bed would still be lying in pieces in the corner. He's going to help me install a new pot rack soon.

He's a great grandfather to our kids. He doesn't seem to care that Jared and Sara aren't genetically related to him. He lets them bang on his piano (something that in my house would have led to bloodshed) and is happy to have them running up and down the hallway. He taught the kids to play Frisbee with the cushion from the bathroom stool -- and still gets in trouble for having done so. We go on holidays together; when we go to Lake Tahoe in the winter, he pulls the kids around on their sleds and at Calistoga in the summer, he's in the pool with them all the time.

I never knew any of my grandparents; I grew up knowing only one generation first-hand. I am very glad that my kids not only get to know their grandparents, but that they have an awesome grandfather. Genetics may be important in some medical situations, but it certainly doesn't make a good father or grandfather. That takes love. My father-in-law loves his grandkids and, I can assure you, the feeling is reciprocated fully. Happy Father's Day, John!

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.