Boys need more adventure
Categories: Just for dads, Development, Media, That's entertainment
Conn Iggulden thinks boys today are kept in too safe and clean an environment . For their own developmental good, he feels young males need to explore, experiment, and wallow in the dirt.
"It's about remembering a time when danger wasn't a dirty word. It's safer to put a boy in front of a PlayStation for a while, but not in the long run. The irony of making boys' lives too safe is that later they take worse risks on their own. You only have to push a baby boy hard on a swing and see his face light up. It's not learned behavior -- he's hardwired to enjoy a little risk. Ask any man for a good memory from childhood and he'll tell you about testing his courage or getting injured. No one wants to see a child get hurt, but we really did think the bumps and scratches were badges of honor, once. " says Iggulden.
Conn and his brother Hal, co-authored runaway UK best seller: The Dangerous Book for Boys, now available in the U.S. The book is a hodge podge of activities the Igguldens enjoyed as children: some dangerous (fire-proofing cloth, skinning a rabbit, dealing with girls) and some not (tying knots, wrapping a package, using invisible ink) combined with personal exploits, as well as tales of courageous men in history like the Wright brothers.
As a mother to males, I found myself nodding in agreement on Conn's assessment that an educational system that teaches boys "as if they were girls who don't wash a much" is setting them up for failure. After reading the reviews on Amazon, I found myself ordering a couple copies and letting the boys jump into the swimming pool from the garage roof and then dig a hole to China in the front yard.
(Okay, maybe I made up that last bit. We don't even have a swimming pool and I think there's a big hole ordinance in our subdivision, but I did order the books to help increase the danger level around here!)
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Stewgad 6-28-2007 @ 9:19AM
While I think this is great -- I don't think it needs to be so gender-specific. Why aren't we saying that our girls need more adventure and less sheltering as well? The subsequent story about the drug and alcohol abuse in someone like Lindsey Lohan seems to indicate that young girls will also push the boundaries and take dangerous risks if not given the controlled chance to do so otherwise.
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Rachel May 6-28-2007 @ 9:29AM
AAAARRRRRGH!!! Stewgad, why is it SOOOOO wrong to celebrate BOYS???? I'd bet that if a girl's version of this book came out first (there's one in the works, by the way), there wouldn't be so many people whining about "why isn't there one for BOYYYYYS?!?!?"
The fact is that boys and girls have different kinds of adventures. As a scientific thinker, I've worked hard to NOT only buy "boy" toys for my son. He has girl dolls and kitchen sets, as well as trucks, etc. However, even at two or three years old, every. stinkin. thing. turns into a sword/ airplane/ truck. The dolls just don't hold any interest for him.
I'm really, really sick of the way this culture demeans men. Take sitcoms - almost all of them portray the dumb husband with the smart, sexy, superior wife. I know I had to change my thinking after I got married -- I had been spoon-fed a feminist ideal that told me that I was better than any guy out there because I was a girl. I've really had to work on changing my thinking in order to value my husband and respect him.
It turns my stomach to think that my son has to fight this battle as he grows up.
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Jason 6-28-2007 @ 11:24AM
Rachel May:
Couldn't disagree more, there is nothing wrong with this book. But the argument that boys are essentially different seems like BS to me. You wrote "The fact is that boys and girls have different kinds of advendtures" I say people have different kind of adventures. Okay your son has no interest in dolls, fine, he - just him - doesn't care for it. I know several young kids who want to play with dolls, or teasets, or just toy cooking equipment and the family forbids it. You are taking your individual experience and saying that is the way for everyone.
I agree that the idea of men as incompetent is a huge problem, I would argue that is anti-feminist. It is the idea that men are just children. They can't be responsible for housework or children, it is a miracle that they can shower.
The feminists that I know, such as myself, argue that feminism is important for men and women. Women had been excluded from male domains, which were seen as important and powerful, a lot of progress has been made on that front. But it hurts men to, because they are excluded from female domains, because they are lesss important and men are ridiculed if they want to participate.
Boys who do that are called sissies and are beaten up. Girls are called tomboys. Kids are pressured almost from bith to fit in - some do and have no desire to be different. That is fine, it is the way they are.. but what about the others... if the natural devisions are so natural, then why do parents spend so much energy enforcing it - saying no to letting your son have a teaset, which my cousins family did.
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emjaybee 6-28-2007 @ 11:33AM
Rachel, you know what? That sitcom thing that demeans men...feminism didn't make that up. That's anti-feminist, actually...it says men are always children so women have to be their moms forever. Not fair to men OR women. Feminism isn't about "women are better than men." It's about "women are people, just like men."
I have a little boy too, and I know you can't keep the pro-violence stuff away from them entirely...they turn everything into guns and swords because that's what their friends do. Just like little girls pretend to be princesses...because that's what their friends do, no matter what you tell them. The messages kids get from our culture are really, really strong, and kids absorb them.
But at some point, they get older, and they can think about whether they really think killing people is ok, or that just sitting around in a pretty dress is all they want to do. That's when we get more of a chance to make a difference.
In the meantime, it's important to keep asking "why?" some people think adventure is just for little boys, for example. If the Dangerous book were for all kids, that wouldn't hurt boys...it would give them more kids to play with. Helping girls be adventurous doesn't mean boys can't still play in the mud and scream like banshees. I think all kids should!
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Stephanie 6-28-2007 @ 1:31PM
I hope it's well done, but I understand they're coming out with "The Daring Book for Girls" in November, as I recall. I've been thinking about getting both for my kids for Christmas. I'm tempted to reverse it, though, and give the Boys book to my daughter, Girls to my son. They're 5 and 2, so while my daughter would probably be furious about getting the Boys book, my son probably wouldn't care.
But that's at least as much my sense of humor as anything else.
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MamaChristy 6-28-2007 @ 2:14PM
This book is great. I got one for my father and my husband for Father's Day and they love it. There are lots of things I'm not interested in participating in, but that's why it is for BOYS! :) My husband and son will have a grand time identifying bugs while I crochet. A gift for the whole family!
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Karen 6-28-2007 @ 9:47PM
I too am glad to see a book that celebrates BOYS! It has nothing to do with whether or not girls are interested in some of these same things. In a society that is trying to eliminate GENDER, I'm so glad that this is a book that celebrates it. The great thing is that I bought this book for my husband and son as a jump start to various experiences. If I want to sneak a peak and do some of these things with my daughter, of if my husband wishes to do the same...we can. But for THIS moment in our lives, we are celebrating all things BOY!
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