Boy named Hell finally allowed into Catholic school

Filed under: Day Care & Education

I imagine life seems ominous for the Hell family. Their name, after all, evokes images of unspeakable pain and horrible suffering for all eternity. You'd think the one institution that would understand the family's life-long struggle against the evil of their surname would be the Catholic church (given their history of defending Earth's mortal inhabitants from Lucifer, the ineffable King of Hell).

But apparently not. Well, at least, not at first.

Alex Hell contacted St Peter the Apostle Catholic school to see if they'd take his son, Max, as a student. Bullies at the Max's current school had been picking on him (because of his name), and Hell hoped the 5-year-old could find refuge at St Peter's.

The school, however, refused to enroll Max unless he used his mother's less-inflammatory maiden name, Wembridge. While the family agreed at first, they later decided Max should be able to attend school using his real name. St Peter's, in turn, told the Hells where they could go, and only reconsidered after the story broke in the Australian media.

While he's happy the ordeal is finally over, Mr Hell has decided to send Max someplace else.

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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.