The mega-meltdown

You're not alone and you did what I would have done.

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So *that's* what all the noise I heard from the East Bay was!

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No, not alone. I have carried my 3 yo out of Home Depot by some combination of arm and leg and locked him in the car. I paced, I sat on the hood, I tried to get far enough away that the screams wouldn't still be so piercing (cool weather at the time) and I just waited while my husband and other child finished our shopping. It may have taken him 30 minutes of screaming **without an audience!** before he settled down. I never knew what had really caused it, but I think that tiredness and hunger are usually involved. The main things I try to do are 1. get him somewhere safe, and 2. try to remove all audience while I wait it out. (Yes, under the circumstances, my car was safe. He never tried to go into the front seats and I could discretely watch him from outside the car without him knowing I could still hear him.)

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I suspect your son may have inherited your tendency to overreact to things.

Might want to model some mellowness.

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Jeez, SKL nice drive by judging there. I'm sure you never freaked out as a toddler. (not). At least toddlers don't go onto message boards and throw snide remarks around.

All kids do this; my 20 month old does from time to time. You did the only thing you could do.

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I'm talking about Roger, not his kid (who, by the way, isn't a toddler if I remember correctly). Roger really does have a pattern of freaking out over nothing - if this Website is any indication. Remember the hissy fit he threw because his kid wanted a temporary tattoo? And the tirade about a woman wearing heels at the zoo? I'm serious - I think he is modeling "freaking out" behavior for his kids. Or maybe it's genetic. Or both.

And no, not every kid has that kind of "meltdown" (modern euphemism for tantrum). No, I never did. Nor did anyone in my family. Since you asked.

Sorry the kid had a bad day, but since Roger asked our opinion, I honestly think his own behavior is rubbing off on his kid, and maybe he should consider that he has room for improvement as a parent.

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My daughter made it through my younger sisters wedding this past Saturday night without a meltdown at all. Pretty darn good for a kid that was up at 6 that morning. Spent an hour and half in the car to get to the halfway point(grandma's house) Another 2 hours, half of that in bumper to bumper traffic on the way to the hotel. An hour and half there getting ready. Then the ceremony. She was a flower girl along with a very obnoxious 7 year old that made the rude adults look pleasant. After 45 minutes of pictures we then went to the reception and waited another 2 hours for the happy couple to get back. Food was served at 930.
By the way, she is 4 and a half and doesnt nap. Not once did she have a break. Not once did she melt down.

It's all about knowing your kid and removing them before they get to "that point" We left at 10:45
She was asleep in the back seat by 11. And slept til 930am the next morning.

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You know SKL, you certainly have a tendency to put people down! Your personal attacks are really immature and are not appreciated. I wonder if you have children. I feel that unless you have been a parent yourself it is hard for you to relate to a parent who has a child who has had a bad day. Children have bad days. Adults do too, I might add. Just because Roger's child had a meltdown doesn't mean that he doesn't parent well. It sounds to me like he learned from the incident and was curious on how others would have handled it. BTW, how do you know that you and your family never had a meltdown? I find that hard to believe considering the things that you write as an adult.

M4Mommy, that's great that your 4 1/2 year old doesn't need a nap anymore and that she didn't have a meltdown this time. I do know many 4 and 5 year olds who still need a nap. There is nothing wrong with that. Every child is different.

I have been through tough moments with my children and with my first grade students. You learn from them. Talking to other parents who can relate first hand and who can offer advice from their experiences makes a world of difference. Shame on you SKL.

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SKL, I would consider "meltdown" a harsher, more direct term than "tantrum" -- which would disqualify it from being a euphemism.

And, as anyone will tell you, I am an extremely uptight, tense, and high-strung person without a mellow bone in my body. I think, however, that it comes from living in San Francisco, a town known for its uptight conservative lifestyle.

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The main reason y'all find me offensive is because I don't subscribe to your liberal ideas, such as the idea that just about any child behavior is excusable. The liberals on this board (especially Roger) are constantly putting people down - you just don't mind it because you happen to agree with them on balance. Because I'm in the minority here, I get trashed more than just about anyone. That isn't going to stop me from stating my opinion.

Roger is a big boy. He can dish it out and he can take it. Otherwise he wouldn't be writing for this blog.

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It has been said that a conservative is a follower of a dead liberal. I'm kind of fond people like Thomas Jefferson.

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You are wrong SKL, you get "trashed" more than others because you often state you opinion in rude ways. You are often harsh, and abrasive.

No one has said that "just about any child behavior is excusable". Sometimes people have said that a particular behavior is "normal" for a particular age group, and then they discuss ways to deal with it. It's not about making excuses for the kids but about figuring out ways to teach them how to be well behaved children. They are not born knowing all the rules, and they tend to forget stuff. Give them a break they are just little kids.

By the way Roger, I think you did a good job in that situation. Some kids get over stimulated, over tired, and over hungry. Taking him out of the situation and getting his needs taken care of as soon as possible, seems to me to be the most appropriate way to deal with it.

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Why is it OK for Roger (and many others here) to be rude, harsh, and abrasive, and not OK for me?

I get very impatient when I see illogical, offensive, misleading, or irresponsibly inaccurate postings, which are blindly believed by many uninformed readers. So sometimes I feel compelled to provide the opposite viewpoint. And when I feel a poster has been really irresponsible, my impatience shows through. But aside from the fact that my views are much more conservative than most of those here, my comments are no more "harsh" than many others.

Occasionally, like here, I comment on a bloggers long-time pattern that I've seen in his writing. That's constructive criticism. Everyone needs it and can benefit from it if they aren't too arrogant to listen.

I must say that since most people on this board have absolutely no interest in how the other side thinks and why, preferring to believe they are just too intellectually superior to benefit from non-liberal inputs, I should probably stop "throwing pearls before swine," to quote the Bible. (I'm not calling y'all swine, but neither was Jesus talking about swine. So now don't get all up in arms about that allusion.)

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I'm sorry SKL, but it seems that you are the one who has "absolutely no interest in how the other side thinks and why", preferring to believe you "are just too intellectually superior to benefit" from any other point of view. You also often refuse to give any thought out reasoning for your ideas.

People are harsh and rude to you, a lot. You are right in that point, however, it's mostly in response to you stating your opinions in a rude manner. People here see a long-time pattern of that kind of thing in your writing. They have expressed their opinion which is, as you say, "constructive criticism." Even you need it and can benefit from it if YOU aren't "too arrogant to listen."

It also seems to me, my opinion only, that you come here with the intention to find something to get worked up about. Then you can post comments that are intentionally structured to get at least some people to respond. And then you can pull out "most people on this board have absolutely no interest in how the other side thinks and why" "I'm one of the few conservatives here" and get your feeling hurt.

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Messed up mama, my feelings are not hurt. I do listen to what people say and I learn. Why else would I bother visiting this overwhelmingly liberal board? I want to hear what the latest research is, etc.

You may also have noticed that most of my posts are not contrary - at least not until after someone else bashes me. Like the stuff about organic food, for example. I say something positive about it, and someone feels the need to put me down. Usually I don't bother to respond to that, but sometimes I feel an inaccurate post deserves a response.

I also usually restrain myself from responding to the bloggers' MANY articles that are posted here JUST to rile people up. (I still don't get why that's OK for the bloggers but not for me.) Like the posting about Britney's smoking that generated hundreds of responses, mostly saying it was a stupid and inflammatory article in the first place.

And you, M.U.M., have not been very kind to people in your posts when you disagree. I've seen you rudely put down people like Sandyone, who is the most pleasant, inoffensive poster I've seen on here. So you should consider to what extent your constructive criticism applies to you as well.

What you have seen in my posts is a pattern of unapologetic conservatism, along with my own rather extensive experience with children. If I bother to keep coming here, that is what you will continue to see.

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