Moms: Do you have these five friends?
Filed under: Places To Go
Today I read an article about the five friends every mom needs. It's sort of like the Chicken Soup for the Soul books with respect to friendship. I'd heard of the five friends for every woman and I think every teen but this was new to me.
Of course as soon as I read it I thought about which of the friends I was in relation to my pals, and if any of my friends--the women and men I consider to be close friends, not just acquaintances (although they serve their place too)--fit the types listed there.
There's the role model--that's the woman who's been through what you are currently going through already and who is willing to share her experiences. I am lucky enough to have several of those, who are very different in personality and how they are raising their children. It has made for an interesting spectrum when I have a question. Having two very different friends has also shown me that there isn't necessarily any one correct answer to questions regarding raising kids.
There's the twin--the woman who is living the same life as you. She is the one I guess who can totally identify with your desire to sleep for 24 hours straight or to get out of dodge for a little 'me' time. I don't have any of those friends but my pals do understand when I need to get away from it all, even if "it all" sometimes includes them.
Then there's the "Spur of the moment coffee buddy." That's the gal who doesn't stick to super-strict regimens and schedules and who loves just popping over for a quick visit. I don't have that friend. I am that friend...well, I was. Now I don't do anything for the heck of it without thinking about when I am going to nap and feed the baby. And sleep.
There's also the rule breaker, whom I am sure all parents become at one point, and the friends you meet through your children. I am too new at this mommy business to meet other moms yet, but other new moms and I have shared smiles and knowing glances from across Barnes and Noble. It's only a matter of time.
Finally it is noted that all gals should have at least one childless friend. I have many of those, some who wish to remain that way and some who don't. They do offer a different perspective for me, in that not everything I do HAS to revolve around my son. Although, at this point--who am I kidding? Everything does at this point! Which is totally fine with me.
My son has become the friend I always wanted to have and just never knew it. My husband has too. He was always my friend, but now he is in so many more, new ways than ever before. My mom has also become a different kind of friend--now that we're both moms. So have my mothers-in-law.
I certainly would hope your list of friends you need at least includes your kids and your parents. What about other kinds of friends? I like my list of friends better than the one offered in the article. Any friends we all need not listed there?
I also think it would be both humorous and helpful to know the five friends every mom DOESN'T need. Like the ones who drop you the minute you have a baby because that apparently means you've turned into a three-headed alien or something (not that I have anything against aliens or those with three heads. Two heads are better than one so three must be a real gas at parties).
Or the friend who thinks she is the perfect parent and that everyone else is doing a sub par job of parenting--and tells them so!