Playing with your kids is not necessary?

I personally think that more then that, if playing with your kid means you don't get a break - then that isn't good for the parent and in turn that isn't good for the kid. Its a good thing for kids to see that their parents are not their just for them, that they have their own world too. We forget that when we have kids not everything needs to go to them, that to be good nurturers we need to nurture ourselves as well.

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Someplace between "all" and "nothing", can't we find a happy medium?

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I agree with Ann! I love to play with my kids, but I don't do it all the time, or because I think their development depends on it. I play with them for at least a few minutes every day because they want me to. for the most part they entertain themselves but when I am requested to be the "scary monster" and chase them around or paint fingernails or play dolls, I happily oblige. It won't be long before they don't want to play with me at all or hang out at the mall with me so I'll take advantage of all the 'play time' I can get!

Lancy needs to get bent! he probably doesn't have any kids.

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the benefit to the kid is probably fairly negligible. after all, until the past 30 years i don't think parents played with their kids that much - whether they were busy foraging for food, tending crops, making horseshoes, cleaning house, whatever - they had other work to do and kids were left to their own devices and did fine. one of the main benefits to playing with kids is probably that it is fun for YOU.

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I read this article and thought it seemed a little strange. They never define what they mean by playing. I have always HATED playing Barbies, so I try to avoid that kind of thing, plus my daughter would rather do it with her friends anyway. When she was younger though (she is now 6) we did more of the getting down on the floor playing kind of thing. Now that she is older, we can enjoy doing different things together - cooking, reading, board games, outside play, biking, gardening, walks, swimming. There is a lot of interaction, but it might not be called "playing". You can't tell me that this is not good for a kid! At the same time, there does need to be a happy medium. She is an only child, and I want her to learn that mom and dad have their own lives, too, we can't always be doing stuff with her. And she now likes to play alone, too, which is a good skill to learn.

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I think this may apply well when the child is surrounded by other playmates.
Sure, in the past parents may not have played with their children - however, those children were then part of a larger group of other children. They had playmates both above and below their age.

In modern society, especially before school age, children usually just aren`t around other children that much. A trip to the park for a few hours here and there, and maybe a playdate every week. It doesn`t amount to much out of that child`s life. Especially if the other children they see are the same age and developmental level - how can you learn more advanced skills if everyone can only do the same things?

Children need to develop social skills, and without someone to practice with (same developmental level or below) and to model for them (more advanced), they will have trouble mastering those skills. Almost anyone can fill these shoes. The important thing is that a child has a certain amount of interactive, social play. It is necessary for proper development.
If parents are the only available playmates, it is their responsibility to fill in as much as they can.

Respecting your child as an individual, and playing with them doesn`t mean that you are going to lose your authority. Just stay consistent.


Phew... Having a kid with a developmental delay and a degree in the field makes you a bit more aware of the importance of play.

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I do a lot of pretend with my 2.5 year old, but I don't feel that I need to entertain him every second of the day.

Some people just don't enjoy play (or certain types), and I think kids learn to read body language much earlier than they can express what they've read in how other people hold themselves. And it does affect kids and how they interact with others later.

My mom was never comfortable with doing things like dancing or singing in public. She used to get so tense when we started doing these things, and after awhile we quit doing those things. And I think that early message she unintentionally sent us has a lot to do with why neither my siblings nor I feel comfortable singing or dancing, even in front of the mirror. As one my friends noted, I'm embarrassed for no real good reason when it comes to the dance floor, as I am an average dancer.

I don't think parents should feel pressured into a type of play they're uncomfortable with, because it's easy to pass on your own insecurities.

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I love playing dress up, baking cookies, playing in the water with my kids and snuggling with them at night. I love being a mother, my only heart break is my son tries to avoid playing with me if his friends are around but I always have my daughter.( we have this song Best friends woo woo woo best friends.)

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Instead of focusing on "playing" with your kids, why not focus on the "play time" as time you really spend enjoying their childhood. It doens't last. Seems like just yesterday my boys were running around the backyard in waterlogged diapers after dipping into their wading pool...and now their "gasp" taking driver's ed... I was lucky to be able to structure my career so I could work at home and be with my kids all the time. I really enjoy them. And, now that they are in their wonderous teen years, I am enjoying them even more. They're great kids. I wouldn't have done anything different.

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People wonder why kids are the way they are nowadays. Just look at what this moron, Lancy is saying. I play with my kids as much as possible. It helps build character in the kids and also shows them that we adults are still kids at heart. It is good exercise for me. I have a 9 year old daughter who has a non-stop energy supply and she keeps me on my toes. It's been proven that if we don't spend time with our kids they may end up in trouble later on in life.

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Well, my youngest brother and I are 6 years apart. My parent's played with me ALL the time because I was first born. With my youngest brother, we were left to play by ourselves. Today, I speak to my parents on an almost daily basis. My brother, he lives 100 miles away and goes months at a time without talking to him and they usually check up on him through me. ALSO, playing with young children is just for fun, it is extremely educational for the child. That is the whole point of children playing is to learn the world around them. You think they will learn shapes, colors and numbers by leaving them in a playpin??? I think not.

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My ex tried to make me feel like a bad mother if I didn't spend the amount of time he thought I should playing with our sons. Getting down on the floor and playing with trucks and blocks for hours at a time may be a way for some parents to enrich their children or even show them that they are likeable. I tried to do that in lots of other ways.

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To those who see child-parent interaction(by either playing, cuddling, reading,etc.) as not as necessary, think again. From ages newborn to three years old, all those activities are extremely important on the development of these 4 domains: Language, Intellectual, Motor skills and Socio-emotional. I urge everyone to check the Parents as Teachers (PAT) website. How all these activities are crucial in the child's brain development (for the creation of brain cells pathways-connections). There is a window of opportunity during the child's first months, and two following years, that if not estimulated,will be closed forever, or with subsecuent years, certain skills will be a lot harder to aquire. Developmental delays or certain problems can emerge, due to too little estimulation, or none at all. The best way to find out if there is a problem, and if your child's skills are on target, is thru play, and sensorial estimulation, and that interaction with your child.

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I am trying to figure out if the original comment "It is not necessary to play with your children" came from a text that included anything about any other kind of interaction. I spent as much time as I can with my son, not just playing but talking to him like an intelligent child. I am starting to see a vast payoff in terms of helping to make a secure, happy and healthy child into a secure, happy and healthy adult. My efforts resulted in my son being voraciously curious about the world around him while having respect and consideration for everyone and everything. He will be 11 next month. The first 9 years of his life, I was on active duty in the Navy working some truly bizaar hours and deployments to boot. My parents did nothing of the sort with my sisters and I. We currently have little or no contact with our parents. Playing with your child(ren) or spending positive time with them is vital to bonding. I wonder how this basic relationship can be just tossed aside by an "expert".

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Playing is a child's work but it shouldn't be ours, too; don't we have enough to do?

Seriously, though, of my 3 kids I played make believe, trash truck, school, board games, you name it I played it with the first one. The second two were on their own - they had each other for playmates or they used their imaginations and played alone.

The eldest child is the one that's got all the problems - low self image, depression, anxiety, drugs... The middle child knows how to be alone, plays piano, takes singing, enjoys her own company... same with the youngest. He's developing all kinds of hobbies and knows how to be resourceful.

Now.... could it really be just coincidence that this is is the way things turned out? Obviously, I raised them all basically the same with one exception: I played from morning to night with the first one and actually learned how to eat and sleep again with the next two.

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OMG what is wrong with this person, a Mother not playing with their child. I'm a Mother, Grandmother and GREAT Grandmother and not one day goes by that I don't play with my grandkids. That is called bonding, that is the problem with this country these days, not enough time for kids but you all find time to screw huh. This ME first garbage is just that, guilt, to feel guilt about not giving enough of yoruself to your child is natural, true not all women are meant to be Mothers but if you choose to have a child either love it completely or don't bother having one. The kids of this generation are turning our awful the good ones are so far and few between why because there are whackos like this preaching GUILT FREE parenting, I say bull, if you put THINGS, CAREER, FRIENDS SELF before your kids something is going to suffer and it's usually the kids hence the violence we are witnessing with our kids, lack of respect for human life, put the kid in front of the TV computer Video game and carry on, well society is now paying the price. LOVE YOUR KIDS and don't be afraid to show them, my youngest is 43 and I never miss a day to say love you, or give a hug and having 9 grandkids and 2 great grandkids I consider a blessing not a burden and instead of THINGS they got more love and attention that's all I could afford and guess what folks they still LOVE ME ANYWAY.

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This goes out to those Mother's that say it's good the kids see we have OUR WORLD. Give me a break lady remember that when your kids are grown on their own and Mom is lonely because her husband passed and her friends are busy with their kids, and your kids have no time to visit phone or care about you. If you wanted your OWN WORLD you shouldn't have kids, I'm not saying you must devote 24/7 to kids, that's crazy you have to MAKE TIME for kids husband and then yourself, putting your husband or yourself first will cause something to suffer and it's usually the kids. Betty Friedan CLAIMED WOMEN CAN HAVE IT ALL, yes but at what expense? Ladies use your common sense, base your life with the gut instinct god gave us all. Kids need love and more important just TIME children act out what they experience, they experience parents that haven't enough time for them will in turn treat their family same way. When you decide to have a child until they are grown and out of your home you are on call 24/7 whether you like it or not, they are a commitment that you cannot ignore and if you have no time for you TOUGH should not have had kids.

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