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Blended families and the age-old question
There is a great article on New York Magazine's website (and in print) about blended families. More precisely, the article introduces us to several of these families and how they deal with that annoying--no, offensive--question of whether the parents love their adopted children as much as they love their biological children.
Amy, a very good, long-time (as in, yikes, high school) friend of mine and I were eating dinner last Wednesday when she mentioned the article. I was so flabbergasted by what she told me that I had to read it for myself. See, my friend is adopted, so everything we discussed about the article had to do not only with the adoptive families interviewed (as well as high-profile blended families like Brangelina) but with her own experience.
Amy's point of view, being adopted herself with a sister who was born to her parents later in life, is that, uh, yes, you can. My point of view is that people should stop asking that frickin' question. It's offensive and rude and ridiculous. It's questions like that one that insult me, for her sake, and for the sake of every parent and child out there.
But, don't take my word for it--check out the article yourself. It's great reading. You'll love meeting the different families and learning about how they make having a big family in the metro area work.
After basically refuting the notion that parents love one type of child more than another, the article goes on to discuss how even though celebrity parents regard all their types of children the same the media refuses to let the embers die. For example, Tom Cruise's first two children Connor and Isabella are CONSTANTLY--still!--referred to by the media as his adoptive children. Suri is seen as the "true" or "real" Cruise child because she emerged from Katie (at least that's what we;re being told!).
It's an obnoxious habit and one that doesn't deserve our support. Likewise with Angelina's child Shiloh. Somehow the media and everyone besides Ange and Brad treat Shiloh differently simply because she came out of Ange. As my pal said, and I agreed, the method of delivery may be different, but it ends there.
My friend doesn't have her parents running around announcing her as their "adopted daughter Amy." Nor does Amy introduce her parents as her "adoptive parents." Although we thought that was pretty hysterical.
Anyway, I got all hot and bothered about the article because I thought Amy was saying that the article was perpetuating the question. In fact, after reading it myself, I agree with her that it is actually trying to dispel the stereotypes and notions associated with adoption and blended families. Yes, at times the article is sad, but it's also funny and uplifting, and the parents interviewed in it engaging.
Blended pic by Paul Schultz.