The loneliness of motherhood
Categories: Just for moms, Toddlers
I have often wondered why it is that I often feel lonely as a Mom, despite the fact that I am never alone. Despite the fact that I have an amazing network of friends and family, a son clambering around by my knees, kindred spirits just an email away.
Rebecca over at Girl's Gone child has written a stirring post about the lloneliness of Motherhood. Although she is a younger Mom than I am, her post resonates with me, and obviously, many others -- scroll through the comments to see a host of reasons why other parents understand her wistfulness.
Rebecca writes:
"Most of the nights, in my pajamas at 9pm, face against the window, watching the world and the lights, listening to the music, the laughter, parties, people my age who can stay out all night, sleep in until noon."
I don't miss staying out all night, really, and I couldn't sleep in past 8 if I tried, but I understand completely the feeling of having my face against the window, looking out, existing in the circular vacuum of my home, my life with a little one.
Loneliness in Motherhood is one of the surprising things I encountered, and something I'm grateful to Rebecca for acknowledging. Because I think a lot more of us feel it than express it.
Rebecca over at Girl's Gone child has written a stirring post about the lloneliness of Motherhood. Although she is a younger Mom than I am, her post resonates with me, and obviously, many others -- scroll through the comments to see a host of reasons why other parents understand her wistfulness.
Rebecca writes:
"Most of the nights, in my pajamas at 9pm, face against the window, watching the world and the lights, listening to the music, the laughter, parties, people my age who can stay out all night, sleep in until noon."
I don't miss staying out all night, really, and I couldn't sleep in past 8 if I tried, but I understand completely the feeling of having my face against the window, looking out, existing in the circular vacuum of my home, my life with a little one.
Loneliness in Motherhood is one of the surprising things I encountered, and something I'm grateful to Rebecca for acknowledging. Because I think a lot more of us feel it than express it.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
GirlsGoneChild 8-21-2007 @ 1:12PM
Thanks for the link, Kristin.
Reply
~Monica 8-21-2007 @ 2:07PM
No matter if you're ready for parenthood or not, it's still a huge unexpected shift in lifestyle - as you really don't know what it's going to be like until you experience it firsthand. And I think many of us experience a bit of identity crisis because of that shift. From our child being a newborn/infant, to toddler, to childhood - there is constant change in what we identify with and how we live our life. That constant change doesn't really give us a chance to settle into our new identity and depending on what our child is like, we don't necessarily have full control of that identity.
I really think that unsettled feeling can make you feel lonely. I know I do.
Then add to that not having an adult companion around to share in each sweet moment of parenting, and voila, instant lonliness.
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anderson_michelle_lee 8-21-2007 @ 3:35PM
I think that the younger you are as a mother, the harder that is. You are not as accepted into the Mommy Circle at the school yard. My oldest is 8 and I am 27. He is wonderful and I try to be very involved with his school and activities. But he gets invited for less after school activiites, and less birthdays, I think that it is a shame. His friends moms all talk and know each other, I just tell him, I am sorry, but they are not going to be my friends. I don't even think I am that young anymore, but I think that I look pretty young still. I have a great spouse that I share everything with, and still there is a loneliness not getting invited for the playdates, or for mommy socializing.
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brandi 8-22-2007 @ 9:04AM
I have to agree with michelle, the younger you are the harder it is my oldest is five and starting school and I'm 25 and its hard to talk to other moms 'cause they see how young you are or look and just kind of blow you off. I am very active in my sons life and have had to work with him very very hard to make sure he was not developmentally delayed. But its a great teaching experience to never judge a book by the cover!
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