Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Mitch Kellaway: Father's Day as a Transgender Man
Melissa Sher: The 7 Annoying People You'll Meet When Pregnant
What I have learned about two: don't flush, buckle
Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Development/Milestones: Babies
I am learning that distraction is the key solution to temper tantrum aversion, but it must be down with precision-force. I pack my purse with sippy cups and caramels before we enter the grocery store, for example, and I am not ashamed to admit that I'll trade a caramel (and potential toddler tooth rot and spoiling and all the rest of it) for fifteen minutes of dignity in public.
I find myself hissing the very words I swore were for lazy parents: "Nolan, sit down in the cart and be good for ten more minutes and Mom will give you a caramel." It works. I'm getting full grocery shops in lately without a Full On Meltdown in Aisle Ten, without looks of pity and condemnation from the meat department guy.
But what I am failing at lately is the exit from the parking lot. An exit from a grocery store parking spot should take...maybe five minutes? For a normal person?
This afternoon it took us 27 minutes to exit the grocery store parking lot. Almost half an hour! Nolan wanted to get in the car himself ("Ma do! Ma do!") and then into his car seat by himself. And he was in no hurry, preferring to hoist his independence with demonstration: a ridiculously delayed entrance into his car seat, characterized by stretching and deliberate meandering.
"Nolan." I can feel the telltale impatient tingle in the back of my neck."This is insane. Get in your seat."
Silence. He grins at me coyly from the back seat, turns around and starts petting Jordi, who is staring at me beseechingly: all I want is a walk and some dog sauce, human, that's all I ever want.
"Nolan." I am firmer now,"Get in your seat. Five, four, three..."
He stares at me in the eye. It is a power struggle.
"Two, one."
We stare. I turn and lift his little body and insert it into the seat, and the howls of Doom and Dismay commence.
"Ma do! Ma do!" he wails piteously.
"You had the chance to do,"I say grimly,"You didn't do it."
He wailed at full force for the twenty two minute drive from the parking lot to our house.
"Ma doo! Ma doo!" he screamed, trying to unbuckle his seat belt so he could re buckle it.
By the time we get home, I'm exhausted and I've learned my third tidbit about Year Number Two:
1) Never flush toilets (a sacred act) in the presence of a toddler.
2) Do not comb hair without permission
3) Do not buckle seat belts without help just to save time. You'll pay for it in the screaming.
I find myself hissing the very words I swore were for lazy parents: "Nolan, sit down in the cart and be good for ten more minutes and Mom will give you a caramel." It works. I'm getting full grocery shops in lately without a Full On Meltdown in Aisle Ten, without looks of pity and condemnation from the meat department guy.
But what I am failing at lately is the exit from the parking lot. An exit from a grocery store parking spot should take...maybe five minutes? For a normal person?
This afternoon it took us 27 minutes to exit the grocery store parking lot. Almost half an hour! Nolan wanted to get in the car himself ("Ma do! Ma do!") and then into his car seat by himself. And he was in no hurry, preferring to hoist his independence with demonstration: a ridiculously delayed entrance into his car seat, characterized by stretching and deliberate meandering.
"Nolan." I can feel the telltale impatient tingle in the back of my neck."This is insane. Get in your seat."
Silence. He grins at me coyly from the back seat, turns around and starts petting Jordi, who is staring at me beseechingly: all I want is a walk and some dog sauce, human, that's all I ever want.
"Nolan." I am firmer now,"Get in your seat. Five, four, three..."
He stares at me in the eye. It is a power struggle.
"Two, one."
We stare. I turn and lift his little body and insert it into the seat, and the howls of Doom and Dismay commence.
"Ma do! Ma do!" he wails piteously.
"You had the chance to do,"I say grimly,"You didn't do it."
He wailed at full force for the twenty two minute drive from the parking lot to our house.
"Ma doo! Ma doo!" he screamed, trying to unbuckle his seat belt so he could re buckle it.
By the time we get home, I'm exhausted and I've learned my third tidbit about Year Number Two:
1) Never flush toilets (a sacred act) in the presence of a toddler.
2) Do not comb hair without permission
3) Do not buckle seat belts without help just to save time. You'll pay for it in the screaming.
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
- Divorce reasons wife does not want IVF, Donor Sperm
- 3 SHOWS A HOUR 7 HOURS = 21 (10 DAYS = 210) 10 STUDIOS = 2100 20 STUDIOS = 4200 (IN 10 DAYS) 3 (20 MINUTE SHOWS).
- While attempting to explain consider who your explaining to. building a government may seem like gilligan's island to a person that can't
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Kate Hudson I'm a Huge Fan: Kate Dishes on Pregnancy and Shares Advice
Our I'm a Huge Fan Kate Hudson winner has taken on the striptease workout like Kate, learned her love expert lessons, and had the hot makeover, so all that stands between Kyla and her favorite celebrity is a quiz from Something Borrowed author Emily Giffin! After acing the quiz, it's Kate Hudson time! The actress is glowing and gorgeous in her second pregnancy, talking about her acting family - including Ryder's tendency toward the craft and mom Goldie Hawn's best advice.
-
Learn About Neptune Astrology
Have you ever wanted to get good at astrology. Well look no further than this educational resource on A Guide To Learning Neptune Astrology. Follow Videojug's professional experts as they guide you through this advice video.
-
How to Learn About Jungle Gardens
Have you ever wanted to get good at garden design. Well look no further than this educational resource on How To Learn About Jungle Gardens. Follow Videojug's experts as they direct you through this advice video.
-
Learn What Makes or Breaks Your Swing
Have you ever wanted to get good at types of golf shot and swing. Well look no further than this guide on A Guide To Learning What Makes Or Breaks Your Swing. Follow Videojug's professional experts as they steer you through this advice video.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
8-22-2007 @ 12:06PM
Patty said...That happens to me too. If I am not in a hurry, I will let him try for a while. If I am in a hurry, I resort to trickery and distraction like 'We have to hurry up or we are going to miss the rainbow' or 'My has to buckle you in and close the door before the spider gets in the car.' You wouldn't believe how well the spider one works.
Reply
8-22-2007 @ 12:10PM
Leslie said...My son is 2 years and 8 months old and what seems to work for us is giving him the option of doing it himself or momma does it. I tell him that he has until the count of 5 to decide. If he does not decide then momma does it.
He has learned that I will do it if he does not. And he loves doing whatever. This goes for closing doors, getting dressed, getting in the car seat...anything!
Reply
8-22-2007 @ 12:49PM
pbhj said...Leslie - ditto, except like Kristin (Nolan's Mum) I do a count down.
Patty - I've resolved not to lie (particularly over fripperies) to our J (2.1 years). I just tell him I'm getting cross if he takes too long - or I just relax and let him get on with it and check out some clouds or something until he's finished.
Reply
8-22-2007 @ 3:06PM
seb said...independent, strong-willed 2 year olds are the best. and the worst. my daughter does the same thing -- "i doit i doit" about everything. i'm not above bribing either, but now she's at the point where she'd rather get her way than receive any bribe i use. "if you let me buckle you in the seat, i'll let you choose what music we listen to..." her response is always "NO MUSIC!" or in more desperate situations: "NO CANDY" or "NO MILLION DOLLARS!" it's the same for punishment. she rather choose to have a time-out (which, by the way, i've found are utterly USELESS with two year olds) then give in to the demand. anyway, liked the story... it's good to know i'm not alone in the struggle.
Reply
8-23-2007 @ 4:29PM
JJ said...We do the same thing here. And on the days I can afford the time, I let him do it his self, but as a race to see if he can get in it before (to try and speed it along)... I open the back pack of toys and get out Thomas out or his sippy cup. And he crawls up in to his seat and says buckle. If I know I do not have the time to start with, before we get to the car, I pick him up and we're an airplane (From shopping cart to car too!)!!! And fly (with a horrible attempt at a "machine gun" noise) to the door where he and i open it and then fly in to his seat (head 1st through the door and "coming in for a landing" in to the seat. Like you said, distraction is good. Hope is helps, and good luck!
Reply
8-24-2007 @ 10:19AM
Jessica said...What is with the aversion to brushing hair? I don't even understand that one but my daughter screams like thye most catastrophic event has just happened when it is time for me to brush her hair.
Like you said, you have to pick your battles at this age. My SIL was over last night and was gonna feed the munchkin. Apparently a bib was not an option. My SIL, not a mom, listened to my daughter refuse twice and said "well, a bib is certainly not a fight I'm willing to endure". Heck Yeah Auntie, I wouldn't either!
For the sake of peace of mind, you gotta let the little ones go.
Reply