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How would your children remember you?
Categories: Just For Moms, Development, Celeb Parenting, In The News
This week, a post at the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog, about John and Elizabeth Edwards taking their children with them on the campaign trail, had everyone buzzing. The blogger took issue with Mrs. Edwards' choice, and in the original post, called Mrs. Edwards a "terrible mother." (She has edited the post to retract that.) The issue, for most SVMoms readers, came down to this: Mrs. Edwards has terminal cancer; her time with her children is limited. To say that the doesn't have the right to spend that time with her kids, even if it is on a campaign bus, is inappropriate.
Of course, the post was about more than that; it was about politics and the media and the scramble to find a good Democratic candidate for the Presidency. But that idea of time with your children struck a chord. At Notes from the Trenches, Chris wrote an impassioned response:
"Sure if I were dying I have a vision of how I would my children to remember me. Perfectly patient. Perfectly happy. The singer of songs, player of games, skipper of ropes. The mother who served up perfect meals, that were always enjoyed, and did so with a smile on her face. The mother who always had a dessert to put on the table. A home made one, not tossing a box of Little Debbie snack cakes in the center and yelling, 'Every man for himself.'
How will YOUR children remember YOU?
Of course, the post was about more than that; it was about politics and the media and the scramble to find a good Democratic candidate for the Presidency. But that idea of time with your children struck a chord. At Notes from the Trenches, Chris wrote an impassioned response:
"Sure if I were dying I have a vision of how I would my children to remember me. Perfectly patient. Perfectly happy. The singer of songs, player of games, skipper of ropes. The mother who served up perfect meals, that were always enjoyed, and did so with a smile on her face. The mother who always had a dessert to put on the table. A home made one, not tossing a box of Little Debbie snack cakes in the center and yelling, 'Every man for himself.'
"Apparently I want them to remember someone else. Because I have no plans to actually become that new person."
This morning, I heard a clip of Prince Harry talking about how he and his brother remember their mother, the late Princess Diana. He described her as genuine and fun, which seems like the most a parent can hope their children will remember. Most of us don't live lives that are as public or embattled as Elizabeth Edwards or Princess Diana; we have ample opportunity to shape how our children will remember us, without the interference of the media or well-meaning bystanders. But it does bear thinking about.How will YOUR children remember YOU?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
~Monica 8-31-2007 @ 3:03PM
I love this thought-provoking entry. It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately - especially after watching TLC's 'Crazy Sexy Cancer' documentary the other night. Life can change in an instant and it's what you've done previously that is going to matter when you're gone.
I want my child to remember me as a fun-loving silly crazy Mommy who took the time to create little things that made his life more enjoyable and fun. I want to fill his life with memories of road trips, holidays, traditions, silly shaped pancakes on Sunday mornings, books we've read over and over again and Christmas shows we watched every December. I want him to remember that I loved him more than anyone else in the world and that even when I'm not there, he can still feel my love blanketing him with a warmth and energy that never leaves his soul.
Oh gheez, now I'm getting all teary-eyed.
Thanks again for posting this.
http://www.raisinglucas.com
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nicolebarber 8-31-2007 @ 7:31PM
You never really think about death until you have a health scare in life. Few months ago I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I was so anger and then hurt because I all I could think about was not being able to watch my children grow up and experience important parts of their lives.
I think Elizabeth Edwards is doing the right thing by spending what time she was with her family and children. Every moment counts in life.
I would love for my children to care on the values and love that I have given them, carried on to their children, always learn to forgive, and breathe in life. I have Cherished every little finger and crook of ever inch of themselves, the crazy moments, the quite moments, them being them.
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george 9-01-2007 @ 2:36PM
It's still too early in the morning to come up with a original thought of my own on how I hope my son remembers me, but Monica's concluding thought does fit pretty well for me.
However, the essential difference between Elizabeth Edwards and most of us is that while we're all dying, she knows it, and know about when the end will come.
I have to think that sharpens her focus and understanding of what's really important to her and to her family.
The odds are that she has a much better understanding of those things than someone on the outside with an opinion.
If that blogger died tomorrow of a stroke, I wonder - but don't know - if her family would think spending today blogging about her opinion of Elizabeth Edwards' choices was time well spent...
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