Breast-feeding mom takes on Applebee's

by Sandy Maple (Subscribe to Sandy Maple's posts) Sep 2nd 2007 9:02AM

Categories: Just For Moms, Babies, Pregnancy & Birth, Places To Go, Eating & Nutrition

Brooke Ryan claims all she was after last June was an anniversary lunch with her husband and baby at an Applebee's restaurant in Kentucky. What she got was a battle with the restaurant chain over her right to breast-feed her son in public.

She says she was discretely nursing her 7-month-old son Michael in a booth in the back of the restaurant when a waitress told her she would have to cover herself with a blanket. Kentucky is hot in June and Ryan didn't have a blanket. When the waitress again insisted that she cover up, Ryan asked to see the manager. When he arrived, Ryan handed over a copy of the 2006 Kentucky law that prohibits interference with a breastfeeding mother in public.

The manager claimed he knew about the law, but because someone had complained about Ryan's indecent exposure, he said she must cover up. Ryan ended up feeding her son in the car, but couldn't let the matter drop. She had her lawyer send a letter to Thomas and King, the company that operates Applebee's in central Kentucky. In response, the restaurant chain said it would consider keeping blankets on hand for breast-feeding women to cover themselves. "That's like telling Rosa Parks she still had to sit in the back of the bus, but we'll give her a blanket to make her more comfortable," Ryan says.

Mike Scanlon, president of Thomas and King says Applebee's has no policy against breast-feeding, but feels it should be done discretely. "It is perfectly legal to breast-feed in public and we support that," Scanlon said. "I'm not sure the manager said cover the baby's head, I think he said cover yourself modestly. This was by no means intended as interference, but a request to do it modestly, which I believe is an appropriate response."

Ryan and her husband Michael are not happy with that response. "Some women think it's fine to cover up with a blanket, but a woman shouldn't be forced to," Michael said. Ryan is planning some public events in Kentucky to raise awareness and is asking Applebee's to institute some training for employees about the rights of breast-feeding mothers. "I'm not trying to be provocative," she said. "I want to teach."

What do you think about this? Should a breast-feeding mother be required to cover up when nursing in public?

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Comments (55)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

Amy 9-02-2007 @ 9:57AM

I think that it's an excellent idea to keep blankets on hand in restaurants, just in case someone is offended by a breastfeeding mother. The blanket should be given to whomever made the complaint, and that person can eat his or her meal with the blanket over his or her head.

I've been breastfeeding for over two years now, and I have never had anyone give me a hassle for doing it in public. And when I say I have nursed everywhere - I mean it. I've nursed in the Smithsonian, I've nursed at the Lincoln Memorial, airplanes, airports, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower (both under and on top...), countless restaurants, parks, theaters, etc.

I hate it that these things always happen to women who are afraid to stand up for themselves in that moment. I would raise holy freaking hell. I would've gotten a free meal out of it, I swear to God. Stupid ignorant twits think that breastfeeding is "indecent." If you don't like it, DON'T WATCH!

Maybe everyone else needs to do what I do when nursing in public - look people right in the eye, smile, and think, "Go ahead, say something, make my day!" That seems to warn people right off.

Ethel 9-02-2007 @ 10:08AM

Thank you Amy! Or, someone must make blinders for people - that might help the offended.

I might suggest that the offended patron at Applebee's was distressed that Ms. Ryan is obese and nursing her child in public. Well, I too am obese and nurse babies, in public no less, and we moms come in all sizes too. Since obese moms are far less likely to nurse their babies Ms. Ryan should be given accolades for doing what is right for her child and herself.

Gliding Lara 9-02-2007 @ 10:13AM

My son would never nurse under a blanket so that wouldn't have worked for us.
I really have a hard time understanding why people have issues with breastfeeding - I agree with the above comment - just don't watch if you don't want to see it!!
Good for her for standing up for her right to nurse where necessary!

tuliptoe 9-02-2007 @ 2:33PM

"Should a breast-feeding mother be required to cover up when nursing in public?"

Seriously? Are you kidding? In 2007 we are asking this question?? Don't we have LAWS that protect our rights in this matter???
I think the picture illustrating the article is a perfect reason why this question is ludicrous. Anyone who has ever breastfed knows that you can almost never SEE anything, not that that's the point anyway. Most of the time when I was breastfeeding my daughter no one even NOTICED. The people who demand the covering up seem to me to be the people who would be more comfortable if women just stayed home.
I agree with Amy. Give THEM the blanket and let them eat with it on their head.

Sheesh. I'm glad I have a good vocabulary because I don't think I've ever had to restrain myself from using expletives like I did writing this comment.

Judy 9-02-2007 @ 10:32AM

There are lots and lots of things I see in public that offend me, which are not beneficial to the parties involved. Next time I'm at a restaurant, if I see a mother giving a young child soda can I ask her to do it out of the sight of my children, because it's offensive and certainly not something I want my kids being exposed to? What about someone blowing his nose at the table?

Can we ask people who are inappropriately dressed to cover up or move because it's offensive? What about if I don't like their tattoos or body piercings?

No, I can't, and there isn't even any law protecting those things - but there are laws protecting breastfeeding in public, although some people - like those mentioned in this case - seem to totally disregard the law when it comes to breastfeeding.

Why is it acceptable to ask a nursing mom to cover up? Why has our society deemed that exposure - when oftentimes there isn't even any exposure - to be inappropriate?

I breastfeed my son (he's 16 months now) anywhere and everywhere he wants to nurse. Usually, because of both the weather where I live and for other reasons of convenience, I wear a tank top of some sort and pull it down to nurse, rather than pull up my shirt. I have seen pictures of me doing this and watched myself do it in a mirror, and have found that I am really no more exposed while nursing than I am when just wearing these clothes. Yet I do occasionally get those looks when I do this. It's clear that it is not the exposure involved with breastfeeding, but the act itself that so many people find offensive.

ikate 9-02-2007 @ 11:19AM

Amy - right on! Those blankets should be for those who don't want to see it!

I'm coming up on month 12 of exclusively breastfeeding my daughter. This was not my intention, but she never would take a bottle so I became her full-time lunch cart and I've come to enjoy it. From the time she was a tiny newborn, she never would stand for being covered. Anytime I covered up with a blanket she stopped nursing and started crying. I'm pretty modest by nature so I worked out a way to nurse her without a cover where almost everyone thinks she's just sleeping in my arms (that is until she throws her head back to see what's going on!)

I agree with Judy who said "it is not the exposure involved with breastfeeding, but the act itself that so many people find offensive." even with all the information out there, I think people still think that since there is an option to give a baby a bottle of formula that everyone should do it!

LS 9-02-2007 @ 11:59AM

Once again, there are a few things that just don't add up for me... Even though this woman claims to be just a regular person and not an activist, some bells are rining in my head over what I'm reading as I look into this. (by the way, the link failed in the story, so I had to google it)

First, who carries around a copy of the state laws to whip out when challenged?

Second, in one version of the story, Ryan claims to have "made sure she was facing the corner". If she was, indeed, "facing the corner", in a booth, in the "back of the restaurant away from customers", I find it highly suspect that anyone could see what she was doing, unless she was doing something to draw attention to herself. Because generally, unless you *really* look, you often can't tell that a woman is breastfeeding, even without the blanket.

I have found no reports of any witnesses, nor have I found a statement from the waitress, manager, or restaurant with *their* side of the story, although they could be under a gag-order from their lawyers.

What I'm saying here is that yes, she has a right to breast feed in public. But once again, I suspect that we are not getting the whole story, and I further suspect that these events may HAVE been agenda based, since it just *happened* to coincide with World Breastfeeding Month, which was in August. The incident occurred on July 14.

Eric 9-02-2007 @ 12:46PM

That was what I noticed... did she actually have a copy of the law with her? If she did, it sounds like she was looking for an argument.

Mrs. Coulter 9-02-2007 @ 1:38PM

I breastfed my daughter until her third birthday. I carried a copy of my local state's law with me, just in case someone ever challenged me. But no one ever did, so I didn't have to use it. Plenty of moms do the same, just in case, since we fear interference from ignoramuses like the Applebee's staff.

FYI, if it is illegal to interfere with a breastfeeding mother, then it is illegal to ask her to cover up. This isn't a matter of personal taste--it's the law.

W. H. Heydt 9-02-2007 @ 1:42PM

About 30 years ago, a friend of ours found a convenient place to sit down in San Francisco City Hall to breastfeed her daughter. A guard came over to tell her 'she couldn't do that here'. She pointed to the plaque of the Della Robbia Madonna and Child on the wall and said, "What about her?" The guard shut up and went away.

LS 9-02-2007 @ 1:44PM

"it is illegal to ask her to cover up"

just out of curiousity, why does her "right" to breastfeed supercede someone else's right of free speech?

Jenny 9-02-2007 @ 2:42PM

I know many breastfeeding mothers who carry a copy of the law. I think many of them are actually a little nervous about nursing in public, and they figure that carrying the law will help them if anyone objects. I don't think it is at all a sign that someone is a "lactivist", and even if she is, why would that affect her legal right to breastfeed in public?

jpark 9-02-2007 @ 3:43PM

Who would even want to cover their baby with a nasty Applebee's-provided blanket that hasn't been washed in who-knows-how-long and has been used by lots of other babies? I have breastfed my son in tons of restaurants and never had a comment from anyone. The only time I even notice other people nursing their babies is when they try to cover it up with a blanket draped all over their front.

SKL 9-02-2007 @ 3:09PM

People are just weird. Usually the only way I notice a mom is breastfeeding is when I see her holding a baby and I'm trying to get a peek at the baby's face. Oops, baby is feeding, time to stop staring. I don't think I've ever actually seen the mom's boob itself in public.

My mom breastfed at home so I saw that all the time (including in front of my teen brothers) and I just don't get why anyone would think it was a problem. Yet I can see why people carry the law with them, given how often we hear of mothers being kicked out of public places for feeding their babies. When a baby needs to eat, he/she needs to eat, period. There isn't always a good alternative to a public feeding - and no, starving the child is NOT an alternative, nor is substituting formula.

The only man I know who doesn't have a positive attitude toward breastfeeding is my brother-in-law, whose mom did not breastfeed. Perhaps he heard a lot of negative comments from her about the practice. I also know a woman who, when asked if she would breastfeed, responded "I am not a cow." Perhaps it would help if non-breastfeeding women would at least speak positively/neutrally about other moms' choice to breast feed and their right to breastfeed in public.

Jen 9-02-2007 @ 3:33PM

No, a breasfeeding mother shouldn't be required to cover up the natural function of feeding her baby. That's what they are for! The baby has a right to eat.

Jen
http://www.squidoo.com/safecleaning

Caelligh 9-02-2007 @ 3:46PM

I'm backing up Jenny. Just because someone is aware of their rights and carries a copy of the law to protect herself from those who aren't does not mean she was being argumentative or looking to cause a scene. If she was, she probably never would have ended up nursing in the car.

Judy 9-02-2007 @ 3:53PM

I always carry a copy of the state law (of the state I'm in, even when traveling, if possible) regarding breastfeeding. I've never been harassed, but have been told by La Leche League Leaders and other breastfeeding experts (I think it's suggested on some pretty prominent breastfeeding websites) that it can be a good idea to have the law on hand, because most people, when presented with the actual law, will leave you alone.

I also thought of another situation to compare this to. My aunt is diabetic, and must check her blood sugar levels and take insulin shots many times a day. She also only has one hand, as she lost her left one due to a medical complication many years ago. She still leads a pretty active life, when possible, going places with her husband, children, and my mom (her sister).

Once, we (my mom, my aunt, and I) were eating together at a restaurant. We had been out for several hours, and it was time for her to check her sugar level and take her shot. Her doctor has explicitly told her NOT to do this in public restrooms, because they are dirty and doing so could introduce bacteria and increase the risk of infection. (Not to mention that if she was out with her husband, she could not do this in a bathroom, as she can not do it herself with one hand, and her husband could not be with her in a bathroom.) And so my mom helped her do it at the table, as quickly and discretely as possible (the shot was given in her arm, I believe).

A couple sitting at the other side of the section (the only other customers in that section) were offended by this act, immediately demanded their cehck, complained, and made rude comments and gestures as they walked past our table. Fortunately, the staff at the restaurant was reasonable enough not to support their complaints, even though there is no law specifically protecting this act.

Should my aunt have been forced to cover up? Should she be asked to leave, and be prevented from leading as normal a life as possible because of this aspect of her life? One could argue it is a choice, in the same way breastfeeding is a choice - it was her lifestyle choices earlier in her life that likely lead to the health condition, and she could choose to stay at home or not be out for a long enough period of time that she needs a shot (although that would severely limit her choices, since she lives in a rural area an hour or more away from many things, such as a shopping mall). This act was clearly offensive to some people. I sure don't like seeing people get shots of any kind. What was the appropriate action there? And whose rights (as someone else already suggested) trump who else's rights?

courtney 9-02-2007 @ 3:57PM

Yeah in addition to squirmy babies and heat it's pretty dang hard to eat while trying to stay covered. I breast feed both my boys and will do so with my twins. Of all the things in the world to worry about or have objections too-breast feeding just shouldn't be one of them. It's like saying ya know I don't like the way poo smells in public restrooms so from now on every one can only go at home. It's a natural function and not something you can put off or do well when you're not comfortable. It's not like mothers whip off their shirts, bras and sit bare chested feeding their babies. And really even then if you don't want to see it then look some place else!

oh and I do agree it did seem like she was looking for a fight.

Eva 9-02-2007 @ 4:24PM

The fact that she was carrying the laws does not mean she was spoiling for a fight. This is a common suggestion to nursing mothers.

If other people are uneducated and obnoxious enough to be offended by nursing in this day and age, they should just not pay such close attention.

Maybe I'll start complaining to management about everything I find offensive about other people: bad parenting, poor nutritional choices, revealing clothing, dirty language...

M4Mommy 9-02-2007 @ 7:29PM

"Kentucky is hot in June and Ryan didn't have a blanket. "

For some reason I am sure that Applebees had the A/C on.

That said. Not all people are "ok" "fine" or "comfortable" with a woman breast feeding. so what happens to those peoples rights? They no longer matter???

I breast fed my daughter. And we went out. If we were at lunch I would excuse myself and go to the car or the ladies room. And dont bother giving me the "bathrooms are nasty" lecture. Sure public bathrooms are not the cleanest place in the world. But I wasnt letting my daughter suck on the freaking floor!

everyone has rights, not just breast feeding moms