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Nicole Kidman reveals miscarriage, loneliness

Categories: Just for moms, Pregnancy & birth, Adoption, Celeb kids, Celeb parenting, That's entertainment

Shortly after Tom Cruise filed for divorce from Nicole Kidman in 2001, she discovered she was pregnant. When she miscarried that child weeks later, it was widely reported and contributed greatly to the sympathy that I, and others, felt for Nicole. What wasn't known at that time, however, is that this wasn't Nicole and Tom's first experience with losing a child. In an interview in Vanity Fair magazine, she reveals that at the age of 23, early in her marriage to Tom, she suffered her first miscarriage. "From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies. And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic. And that's when it came that we would adopt Bella," she says.

Kidman says that while she longed to have biological children of her own, adoption was always part of the plan as well. "My mother has an adopted sister, so it's been part of our family, and I knew it would probably play out somewhere in mine. I didn't think it would happen so early, but it did."

Her early miscarriage isn't the only secret she reveals in the interview, telling the magazine that before becoming engaged to current husband Keith Urban, she was engaged to someone else. Lenny Kravitz? Steve Bing? She isn't saying. She does, however, reveal a side of celebrity that most wouldn't expect: loneliness. After winning her best actress Oscar for her role in The Hours, she found out that success doesn't equal happiness. "You're in a hotel and you're like, 'Okay, well, I'm sitting in this big suite with an Oscar and I still don't have a life - what is wrong with me? Who do I jump on the bed with, and celebrate with, and order pancakes with?' That was painful, not having that person to share it with," she says.

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