How to make annoying toys die?
Bean has a toy that makes me want to bury my head in the sand like an ostrich. It's an "Old MacDonald" tractor that incessantly plays a tinny version of the song with an oink and a moo and a neigh inserted here and there. It was a Christmas gift, or it would never have found its way into our house in the first place. And somehow it's still here. I really want to make it die, or go away, or spontaneously destruct, or do whatever toys need to do to stop existing.
Somehow it refuses. I have not replaced the battery in it, yet it keeps going. Defying me.
Other toys die. Other far less annoying ones break or run out of battery power, or get misplaced at the playground, or get run over on the driveway. But not this one; with it's repetitive, twangy tune which Bean finds endlessly funny. I think what he actually finds funny is the look of utter eye-rolling disgust and agony that washes over my face as he makes it play over and over and over and over again. I wouldn't put it past him.
I have tried to cull it out of Bean's other toys along with ones that have broken or lost parts, or are simply outgrown--tossing them all into a bin in our closet. Somehow, defying all reason, Bean has managed to find it. More than once. Each time retrieving it and then playing with it even more than before, just because he's missed it.
I have a low tolerance for battery operated toys.They generally drive me insane. I see no reason for toys to beep or flash or talk. That's what imagination is for. Still, Bean has somehow managed to acquire three. Said tractor, a little rinky-dink piano thingy, and a Tonka digger. The latter was purchased for $8 at a second hand shop, in perfect condition, The former two, were both gifts from people who don't know me very well. Or they hate me. The latter was because it the battery makes it move, not sing.
My husband, thankfully, is on the same page with me on this one, and today he managed to sneak the offending tractor into a load of materials headed for the dump. Of course Bean went with him, because dump-going is a prime bulldozer viewing opportunity. The tractor was a certain gonner. Bean was looking the other way, and my husband had it clutched in hand, ready to toss it into the heap of garbage.
But at the last second Bean turned.
"NOOOOO! That's my tractor, Daddy." He wailed, heartbroken. "Don't throw away my tractor!"
(Please let it be know that he has an entire fleet of tractors--all of which are way cooler than this one. It is not like we were throwing away the only tractor of a tractor obsessed boy.)
And so it's back. Currently it's kicking about in my husband's truck, where it was left after the great garbage dump rescue. But I have a feeling it wont stay there. Without a doubt it will make it's way back into circulation in the living room and once again I'll be gnashing my teeth and plotting ways to destroy it.
Does your child have a toy you'd like to see self destruct? Have you successfully gotten rid of it? How Bean is wise to our ways. If it's missing, he'll know. E-i-e-i-o.
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