Skipping a grade in school

I skipped grade one as a child and am ALL for it! But as a teacher, I can tell you that I can modify for any child, no matter how weak or gifted, but if they're socially not ready for the higher grade they will suffer for life. I was ready and it was awesome (but my friends all got to go to the bar before me so I had to get fake ID ;-)) and Ellie may be too. I'd suggest some play dates with older kids and watch carefully before you make your choice. Good luck!

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I skipped a grade. I hope this is not an issue for us, because I would not want my daughter to skip a grade. Although it wasn't a problem when I was in younger grades, when I was in high school I wanted to be allowed to do all the things that my older peers did. This caused conflicts in our household. Also, my parents struggled with whether I was emotionally equipped to start college, 3 hours away from home, when I was still a few weeks shy of 17. It all turned out fine. But now that I am older, I feel like a year of my childhood was taken from me, and I don't want to deprive our daughter or to miss out myself on a year of her childhood. Just one woman's thoughts on the matter.

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Hmmm. I can provide some feedback from one side of things: I did half of grade two in the fall, and half of grade three in the spring and then went to grade four the next year.

In my case, there was a group of 5 of us on the same street who were in the same grade originally. We were playmates, and had been for several years. When I was put up, I immediately became ostracized by that group.

I kinda bonded with the group of kids in the higher grade, but not really. Of course, I was still pretty bored with school and the teachers had to try to fill my time with "busy work" to keep me out of trouble.

Once I hit grade 7, though (which is Junior High in Nova Scotia) since it was an entirely new group of students in an entirely new school, there was no problem at all, and I thrived.

And yet, I wonder what might have happened if I had not been put up. It's hard (and generally useless) to play the "what-if" game, but I think that things might have been worse academically had I stayed in place. But much worse? Probably not. I get the feeling that things just work themselves out in the end.

Take from this what you will! :>)

A>

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I skipped grade 2 when our family moved from South Korea (where I had attended a British school) and returned to Canada, and I had already done the grade 2 curriculum. However, when our family moved between provinces 4 years later, I repeated a grade. I didn't like being the very youngest in the class. I felt as if I was struggling to keep up socially, and sometimes academically. I just felt a lot happier when I was with my peers. And the teacher I had when I repeated grade 6 went out of his way to keep me challenged and engaged which was really helpful. This is just me - I am sure that others have had positive experiences of skipping a grade.

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My daughter did not skip a grade but when she was 4, she started kindergarden. Her birthday is Nov 16 and the cut off at the time for private school was Nov 30 and public was Oct 31. She went to a private school for kindergarden. The teacher told me that when kids have birthdays close to the cut off date, they will evaluate them in the middle of the year and then let the parents know if they should be in kindergarden yet. She was evaluated and the teacher said that she is technically ready for first grade now. She stayed in kindergarden that year and then went to a public school the following year. From second grade on, she was in a gifted program. She is now in 6th grade and just tested as gifted and is going to be doing a harder curriculum. We could have skipped a grade but I felt that socially, that wouldnt have been good. She is already the youngest in her class each year so I wouldnt want to put her in a higher grade with older kids just because she could handle it. She didnt want that either. It is better to be with the right social group and just be smarter than to be with the right group intelligence wise and with kids in a different social place.

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I see that most of the posts are what I feel and think. My son was in K and could already read. He was reading at three and I didn't do a thing. I think he was just born knowing how. My older son was in 4th grade. Upon entering K, his teacher thought he should be "moved up" so they did all the testing things they do and thought he should be "put up" to 3rd grade. That would mean my 5 year old would be in the same class as 8 year olds and only one grade under his older brother. If you think if terms of "the grade" and not the age it helps you put things where they should be. In church and in sports that would mean he would NEVER do things with his peers because Sunday School and Little league, hockey, whatever does things by how old you are and not what grade your in. He would never really be friends with anyone close to his own age. In the end and this was 25 years ago we chose to have him leave the classroom and do the math, reading and a few other subjects in older classrooms but we kept him with his peers. It's not as bad as it sounds. He was content in school, just bored somewhat but in Jr High, everyting just fell into place and he was right where he was supposed to be. If I had to do it again, I'd do the same thing. He has friends now in his life that he wouldn't have had if he would have had to do all his outside activies with kids he didn't go to school with.

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Both my husband and I were put forward a grade and we would not do it with our own child. We both found it fine in our younger years, but a huge social handicap in junior high and high school. It didn't make us any less bored in school. If a child needs academic supplements give them after school.

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My 5 year old is both special needs and gifted, neither of which were addressed adequately in our school district's preschool. He is homeschooling now and we are doing first grade work. We do playdates and our church has group activities for homeschoolers. I know not everyone can do this, but it works for us and we are happy.

Jen
http://www.squidoo.com/safecleaning

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Correct me if I am wrong but you are talking about moving Ellie from first to second grade, right? I mean, had she been born 3 weeks sooner than whe would already be in second grade correct. I am not sure but somehow I don't think that she is going to be adversely affected by "skipping" a grade when within those three weeks she will be the same age. I do, however, believe that if she starts to get bored in class she could be affected. I was tested and found to be gifted ("talented & gifted" as it was called in those days) and let me tell you, I was really bored by the time I hit 6th grade. Luckily I had a teacher who could handle it but do you think that having my desk placed next to his so that we could discuss advance literature didn't make me the odd one out????

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Well, I skipped two grades and started taking college classes when I was 15. I was a senior in college about the time most kids are in their senior year of high school.

Academically, it was great. Socially was another story. The first time, it was not discussed with me (I walked into my 4th grade about 2 weeks into the school year to find that I was having a "going away party" and would be in 5th grade after lunch that day.) The second time was in high school, because I wanted to get away from my overly strict parents, so they didn't find out until a few weeks before graduation.

I have a late birthday, so I was nearly 3 years younger than most of my classmates. This meant that I was not allowed to go on dates or to dances, and that my parents prevented me from going to MIT or NYU, because I only got most of a full ride, and was too young to sign a loan contract. I ended up getting stuck at a local college half an hour away, and having my dad randomly drop by to "check on me".

However, Ellie's situation seems to be a lot different than mine, since it's just one grade and she missed the cut off by a few days. I would try to involve her in the discussions, and make sure it's what she wants as well, because your friends will treat you differently for the first year after you skip a grade. It can be like starting over again. You might want to look into after school enrichment for her, if she's still bored in the new grade.

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I think the benefit of grade-skipping depends mainly on the child's maturity level and school capacity.

My eldest is very bright (began talking at 5 months and was talking in full sentences by the time she was 1 year) and would be extraordinarily bored had she stayed with her same age peers. She goes to a public school which had the capacity to only do a small amount of different types of instruction. She skipped second grade after a team decision (principals, teacher, psych evaluation, and our family). We recognize the challenges she will face (driving privileges, later to puberty, etc) that may be hard in high school, but lacking academic stimulation would have been a greater hardship.

Statistically, those who are ready to skip that do skip, do better in the end. Higher satisfaction levels, greater rates of college graduation, etc.

A good resource for information about grade acceleration is:
http://www.nationdeceived.org/index.html

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She may be ahead academically but is she on track socially? I would have to think long and hard about both issues.

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Focus on evaluating her best overall learning situation, because grade skipping simply associates your daughter with older, but not necessarily smarter children. Look over the comments herein by Jenny and others who suffered socially because of grade skips.

The material may be a little more advanced and she may not be as bored, but socially she could miss receiving a more balanced and rounded “education”. The down side of being “separate but equal” can tag you throughout your life. Do not make your decision without considering the social and emotional impact on her self-image, confidence, and happiness.

Wrongly suggested in a previous comment; her input at “this” age is simply not as important as it will be in a couple of years. As parents - if you are not just getting an ego boost from all this – you must consider all ramifications. I realize this may be an extreme representation, but the last thing you would want your daughter to say is, “Oh yes, I skipped a grade, but I never really had any friends.” Ensure her feet plant firmly, before you let her to jump.

Maturity level correlates to age more than intelligence. Association with kids her age lets her develop social and emotional footing before she enters the gristmill of high school life, (which is hard enough without being a target from day one).

There are many kids of normal intelligence bored in school, and if boredom is the tipping point, half of each class might qualify to skip a grade.

Your awareness of the challenge is the best news, and with your participation and oversight, she has a better chance at social and intellectual satisfaction than those with less watchful parents.

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This something those of us that have bright kids with fall birthdays really struggle with. We're not trying to put our kids into classes where they will be the youngest by more than a few weeks.

Since early kindergarten cut off's became so draconian across the country a lot of kids are a full year too old for their grade. If they've had a lot of preschool, they're likely to be bored.

Is it a year that will feel 'wasted' as a kid yearns to get the hell out of high school, or is it an extra year of childhood?

I have to hold my son back a year because he missed the cut off by 1 day. He will be entering kindergarten in 2009 as a six year old with three years of preschool under his belt.

I'm not sure I think this 'holding pattern' is the best thing for him, but I really don't want to spring for private school to get around it.

http://blog.margaretsanford.com

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I didn't actually skip a grade - but my situation is somewhat similar. I was an early reader and had already attended two years of preschool by the time kindergarten came around. At the time, where we lived, you had to turn five by December 1st to start Kindergarten that year. My Birthday is September 24, so my mother promptly enrolled me in an all-day kindergarten at a magnet school nearby. (it was a public school, but had special programs, tests for acceptance, etc.) I was not ready for the social aspect of school, not at all. Academically I was way ahead (and usually bored to tears) but socially I never quite caught up.
By the time I was in 2nd grade, we had moved to a different area of the country - where the cutoff was September 1st. There were kids with my birthday who were a full year behind me in school by this point. And I was just never quite at the point my classmates were, socially.
If I could go back in time, I would have told my mother to wait.

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"Wrongly suggested in a previous comment; her input at “this” age is simply not as important as it will be in a couple of years."

I disagree with this. As someone who was left out of the discussions the first time around and got surprised with a grade skip, I firmly believe the person it affects most (the kid) should be involved. This doesn't mean the kid necessarily get the final say, but they should be aware of the pros and cons. Springing it on them unawares is just cruel, since it will change the course of their life.

Ellie might be scared of the consequences and discussing it with her might really help her become comfortable with the idea. Or if it's clear that Ellie is really against it, Sandy will know that it might not be in Ellie's best interests to skip her ahead right now and to focus more on supplemental work at home.

Regardless, Ellie is a person with her own opinions on this matter, which shouldn't be dismissed unheard just because she's 6 and not 8. Skipping a grade is optional, and she will be the one bearing the brunt of the consequences. If dealing with the negatives isn't worth the positives of the skip for Ellie, she's going to be in for a very rough time.

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I think if she did well in KG last year and she is academically ahead of the average beginning second grader, and her age is almost the same as the youngest non-accelerated second-grader, she should be in second grade. But, when I said "if she did well in KG," I mean in the all-around sense. If she is socially immature, this may not be outweighed by academic abilities.

In other states, she would be in second grade, and there wouldn't even be a discussion of it. In my state, Ellie would be thought to have been "held back" as in not being able to keep up with her peers. In my family, half of us (3 of 6 siblings - Sept, Oct, Nov birthdays) started second grade at age six, and none had any unusual problems - though no one will ever know whether we would have been happier in the lower class, I suspect not. So, there is nothing magical about those cutoff dates.

I think it ought to be easy to convince the school not to force an advanced student to essentially repeat the first grade. But if the decision is made to keep her in first grade, there are still ways for her to be challenged. My sister was several years ahead of her first grade class academically, though her age, size, and health (summer birthday, tiny, and sickly) made it impractical to consider accelerating her. Instead, the teacher appointed her as a helper who monitored and tutored the less-advanced children. It was wonderful for her socially. And one always learns most through teaching. I would recommend trying this for Ellie if she stays in first grade. Another idea is what is being done for my high-IQ / immature nephew - he goes to a higher classroom for certain academic subjects only, so he still gets to work with kids his own age much of the time.

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Clarification: In my above post, first paragraph, I meant "if she did well in 1st grade last year" (not KG).

Also, I want to point out that it's my understanding she doesn't have a long history with the same classmates, and nobody really needs to notice that she was accelerated, so the chance that she will be picked on for being different will be mitigated.

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Caitlin (and of course anyone interested),

There are developmental differences between 6 to 8 years old. According to most who study child development, stages do occur in different areas close to the same time. Below I listed some basic stages and components of development in three areas for your review.

Piaget – Mental development: 2-7 years involve the pre-logical, magical, egocentrism behaviors and thought. At 8 yrs to puberty the concrete literal, logical thinking, co-operation, and social interests develop.

Kohlberg – Moral development: birth to 7/8 years involve defining “good” (what is being done at the time and can get away with), 7/8 years to puberty, avoidance of punishment, hedonism and concrete reciprocity emerge.

Erikson – Emotional development: 3-7 years the development of primary identity, purpose, initiative vs. guilt occurs. From 8 yrs to puberty the focus is Industry vs. Inferiority, competence, learning, social skills and co-operation.

A 6 year old is at a different level of development than an 8 year old in all three of these areas. Most relevant are: egocentric vs. social; pre-logical vs. logical thinking; doing what you want just because vs. awareness of punishment and reciprocity; and developing identity vs. learning and social interaction skills.

At the age of 6-7 years, most children are just coming out of the Pre-Operational stage and slipping into the beginning of the Concrete stage of development. There they “begin to form logical operations; first on “objects” external to themselves as they emerge from the egocentric arena, and in the later stages, 8-10 years old, concrete manipulation can include “ideas”. As they enter puberty, they escape from the confines of concrete thought into abstract thought and the fun begins.

Therefore…

The inclusion of a 6 year old in a conversation as complicated and abstract as how to consider and select among all the components important to grade placement will prove fruitless and possibly counter to the conclusion the parents agree is right.

Caitlin, if you step back from your childhood experience, which you stated was different from Ellie’s, and consider her parents may in fact be different from yours, you might see it from a new perspective.

Another thing, I never said they should not talk to her or warn her , or clue her in about the unraveling of their grade placement Gordian knot. I simply said her opinion would not be as important as it would be in a couple of years… and considering the summary of information above, I hope you agree.

Please let me know if this clarified my comments.

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Here are the main reasons why my school recommended not having my daughter skip an early grade, when she was reading well and doing multiplication when she entered 1st Grade: (1) School is not just about academics, and being younger than your peers can have negative effects if you're not emotionally as developed as they are. (2) School is a long haul and the vast majority of the rest of the kids will catch up. Kindergarteners who read really well find that most of their non-reading friends have caught up to them by 3rd or 4th Grade. I've actually seen that this is true. Kids who had not even begun to read in kindergarten are often voracious readers by 3rd Grade. (3) The biggest transition ahead is when kids enter middle and high school. Being younger than your peers (and often physically underdeveloped, relatively speaking) can cause a lot of issues with self-esteem and confidence.

Because of these reasons, we decided to wait and see how things went.

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