Explaining 9/11 to a child

by Jennifer Jordan (Subscribe to Jennifer Jordan's posts) Sep 10th 2007 8:14AM

Categories: Toddlers, Preschoolers, Development, In The News, Education

Although my son is not even one year old, there will come a time when I need to sit down and explain to him what happened on 9/11 and why we have memorials, why we remember. At least I think I'll need to.

By that time, perhaps, I'll have sorted through all the emotions that still live with me from that day. As the sixth anniversary--if we can believe it--of this devastating event in our country's history, I'm sure I'm not alone in dreading the task of trying to explain to my kids the "why" of September 11th.

Surely those who suffered through the losses from Hurricane Katrina will be forever trying to explain such travesties to their children. Surely there are parents who undertook the task of trying to explain, if not exactly rationalize, the events from Pearl Harbor.

Yes, children will learn of these things through school. They will learn the history. But what about the emotional impact of such tragedies? Should we spare them, those that weren't around or were too young to fully understand such complicated situations anyway?

Are you planning on having such a discussion with your kids this September 11th? Or, have you already had one? How did it go and what approach did you use?

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Comments (15)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Sandyone 9-10-2007 @ 8:24AM

It doesn't need to mean a lot to kids. Pearl Harbor didn't mean a whole lot to me until I was quite a bit older. For kids who weren't around or were very young on 9/11/01, it's just an event in history. Yes, it means a lot to those of us who witnessed it with our adult eyes, but kids don't need that kind of emotion attached to it.

They should know that it happened and that there are different theories as to why it happened. They really don't need to know that it is the reason for long security lines at the airport...that just scares them, without adding knowledge or understanding.

Nancy Toby 9-10-2007 @ 8:44AM

Kids won't understand the events which happened before they were born or which happened when they were babies with anywhere near the same intensity as those who lived through it. They will have their own events and own tragedies in their lives, they won't have ours.

Amy 9-10-2007 @ 8:56AM

I was born in 1976. The Vietnam War ended in April of '75. What was a truly emotionally charged situation for our country for years had absolutely no emotional impact on me. I think it will be the same for kids who were born just before 9/11, and who have been born since.

Each generation has its own history, and its own tragedies. The Challenger and Columbia disasters, 9/11, the Oklahoma City bombing - these things won't mean much more than a point on a history exam to our kids. Don't worry about it.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

Jenna 9-10-2007 @ 9:27AM

Books are how we do it in our family. 9/11 is a day we talk about because my Husband (and thus, Daddy to the boy(s)) is a fire fighter. The one that we like, even though it's still over our son's head right NOW, is September 12th: We Knew Everything Would Be All Right. It's written and illustrated by kids. I think it's a great addition to a child's library to help foster understanding of something that happened before their time.

http://www.amazon.com/September-12th-Everything-Would-Right/dp/043944246X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-7677109-5104861?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189430751&sr=8-1

Ann Adams 9-10-2007 @ 9:45AM

I think the other commenters are correct. I've been around since before Pearl Harbor and have seen each generation's reaction to both past and present tragedies.

Their own always affects them more.

Chris Gillard 9-10-2007 @ 12:46PM

It's hard to explain something like 9/11 to a child, but I find it even harder to explain it to my middle son. See, he was born September 9th. Just two days before 9/11. I remember when I first learned about the attack, I was in my hospital bed feeding my brand new baby boy. All I could think of was that in the space of his VERY short life, the world had changed. Irrevocably and permanantly changed. There were new horrors in this world that I had not anticipated. New things I could not protect my family from. For a brief moment, my world stopped and I thought "What have I done?" But then life kept going, and I learned that all you can do is keep trying. Try to help them understand, try to keep it from happening again, try to heal them if it happens again.

Nikki Jo 9-10-2007 @ 2:15PM

I think that all of our children would make better adults if history was more than just things that appear on a test. Our history is a huge link to where we are going and only through really understanding what has happened and why can we prevent such tragedies, and work to prevent such tragedies beyond our own borders.

I didn't grow up in Nazi Germany, but I can assure you that by touching the scratches of the gas chambers of Dachau and being taught a very rounded history of what happened in WWI and II do I have a deeper appreciation of my own freedoms and appreciation for other cultures and races and what they carry with them.

It is imperative that we teach our children, starting with the basics of this happened when, this is how I felt and this is what it means in your life. My kids know that there are long lines in the airport because some people in the world wish to hurt others and this is our country's way of protecting them. Hopefully, my children will grow up less self absorbed for fulling understanding their history and others'.

Ann Adams 9-10-2007 @ 5:55PM

Of course they should learn, Nikki. I've been complaining for years about how little history, civics, and geography are taught in the public schools in my town. I've tried to take up the slack somewhat.

But my three great-granddaughters were equally saddened by the events of April 14, 1865 and November 22, 1963 while to me the latter was devastating and still unforgettable. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing just as I will 9/11. To the girls, they're a sad part of history but, except for 9/11 which is still very much with us, nothing more than that.

Ann Adams 9-10-2007 @ 6:09PM

Of course they should learn, Nikki. I've been complaining for years about how little history, civics, and geography are taught in the public schools in my town. I've tried to fill in in the blanks as best I can.

But my three great-grandaughters were equally saddened by the events of November 22, 1963 and April 14, 1865 while for me the latter was devastating and unforgettable. I can remember exactly where I was and what I was doing just as the current generation will remember 9/11. To the girls, all except 9/11 are just sad ancient history.

They wouldn't have known about the other two presidential assassinations if I hadn't told them.

It would be wonderful if they didn't have their own tragic event to remember but that's unrealistic I suppose.

(If two very similar comments show up it's because my first version seems to have disappeared. Ignore one or the other - or ignore both if you wish.)

Ann Adams 9-10-2007 @ 6:09PM

Darn it. I knew that would happen as soon as I reconstructed the first comment. Sorry.

Sandyone 9-10-2007 @ 7:37PM

"or ignore both if you wish.)"

Ha, ha, ha, Ann. Hiya!

Ann Adams 9-10-2007 @ 9:01PM

Hi yourself Sandyone. Good to see you.

Ann Adams 9-10-2007 @ 9:02PM

And then I got the dates wrong in the second version. I may be over the hill but I wasn't around in 1865.

Leaving now.

M4Mommy 9-11-2007 @ 3:08PM

I lost my best friend on 9/11 in the WTC attacks.
ON 9/11/01 I was a newly wed. My daughter wasnt even a thought yet. That night, 6 years ago I lit a candle and put it on my front step. I have done the same every year since. And will continue doing so for the rest of my life.

I will teach my daughter about the events that led up and happened on 9/11. I will not depend on the school system or our government to do it. I will keep my friends memory and all those others that were murdered that day, alive. And I will do it by teaching my daughter.

Sandyone 9-11-2007 @ 11:50PM

I pick up a kid on the way to dance class and she was trying to inform my nearly 6 yr old about "9/11". Thanks, Sweetie, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Next topic! (This was after she was describing, in as much detail as she could remember, some movie about a woman whose daughter was in a car wreck and got her face messed up and had a fight with the father, etc, etc. What are children watching these days????)