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Study suggests maybe Moms should let baby cry it out
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Remember the days of brand new Motherhood, when you weren't sure whether the 8:12 on the microwave meant breakfast time or early evening? Remember the feeling of invisible sandpaper rubbing at your eyeballs and cotton dragging over and around your tongue? Remember the feeling of shrinking disbelief as you woke up at 3:37 AM for the fourth time that night, praying your baby would just go back to sleep?
Though they're growing more fuzzy everyday, I can still feel those days. And so I wasn't surprised to read this article that states that new Moms survive on an average of 3 and a half hours of sleep. For four months in a row. Ouch. It hurts to see it in black and white. But it's not just due to the newborn, the article suggests, citing a study that blames modern gadgets like monitors and alarms for causing Mom to wake up with every stir, every tiny sigh by her baby.
The study, conducted by Mother and Baby magazine, was also critical of Dads (who got an average of 7 hours a night sleep in the same first four months), noting that now that women are working outside the home so much more, Dad's had to wake up more and do their part, too. And finally, the research suggests that Granny might have been right all along -- perhaps letting a baby cry it out a little is the key to sanity in those first days of sandpaper eyeballs and upside-down alarm clocks.
Though they're growing more fuzzy everyday, I can still feel those days. And so I wasn't surprised to read this article that states that new Moms survive on an average of 3 and a half hours of sleep. For four months in a row. Ouch. It hurts to see it in black and white. But it's not just due to the newborn, the article suggests, citing a study that blames modern gadgets like monitors and alarms for causing Mom to wake up with every stir, every tiny sigh by her baby.
The study, conducted by Mother and Baby magazine, was also critical of Dads (who got an average of 7 hours a night sleep in the same first four months), noting that now that women are working outside the home so much more, Dad's had to wake up more and do their part, too. And finally, the research suggests that Granny might have been right all along -- perhaps letting a baby cry it out a little is the key to sanity in those first days of sandpaper eyeballs and upside-down alarm clocks.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
9-14-2007 @ 10:05AM
ame s said...If the baby is not hungry, has a fresh diaper, is not in pain, and just won't/can't be comforted at that time, I do think mom/dad should put the baby down and give baby a chance to calm down. It took months for me to finally do so, and after 5 or 10 minutes, my babies would calm down and go to sleep. After 10 minutes, though, I would try to comfort them again.
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9-14-2007 @ 10:17AM
Alice said...Sleep when the baby sleeps!!!!
If new moms would sleep when the baby sleeps no matter what time of day it is they would get a lot more than 3 hours a day. It's hard though because our society expects moms to be supermom, even when adjusting to a newborn and recovering from birth. New moms shouldn't be entertaining guests, cleaning, cooking and doing laundry. They should be resting and taking care of the baby. So many cultures see this as a vital step into motherhood, I wish ours would. I believe that alone would cut the incidences of PPD a lot.
Also if you have the baby sleep with you will get you more sleep. Then no one has to cry it out and mom can sleep while baby nurses on and off all night long. It's very simple common sense actually! Moms and babies are designed to be a package deal.
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9-14-2007 @ 10:41AM
ame s said...I was too paranoid to let my first daughter sleep with me as an infant after waking once to find i had her clasped tightly to my chest.
I did let my 2nd daughter sleep in my bed for 2 months. I had a paranoid moment with her, too, when I dozed off once as she was nursing (both of us on our sides) and some breast flesh got too close to her nostrils. I made a point to stay awake during feeding from then on, but I do think we both got more sleep that way.
Sleeping when the babies slept was easier said than done for me. After an up-and-down night, I worked so hard the next morning to wake myself up enough to be an effective parent I couldn't always wind down enough to sleep. Moms should at least lie down when baby sleeps. The laundry can wait!
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9-14-2007 @ 11:12AM
Patty said...I do not think the article is stating to let baby's cry it out at all! Its stating that moms need more sleep and to try to put baby down when they are sleepy.
Letting babies cry it out stimulates the same brain areas as if they are experiencing pain. Infants experience panic, anxiety and stress when left alone to cry: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp.
If you have a baby that is a poor sleeper(like I did), get the family and hubby to help, don't try to do it all as moms do need to take care of themselves too. It gets better once the baby gets older.
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9-14-2007 @ 11:32AM
Ethel said...Oh Alice, if it were so simple as sleeping when the baby sleeps - some of us have older children and that is just not an option.
In our household no one got enough sleep for the first 6 months of our second's life. We slept when we could, weekends were dedicated to sleep - trading off between us adults. My husband was lucky and could sleep holding onto the little demanding infant, I couldn't due to the fact I held him for so many hours during the day in a certain position I think my legs were atrophied. Certainly the horrible pain in the crook of my arm was enough to keep me up...
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9-14-2007 @ 11:41AM
Lisa said...Alice- Not all people can just sleep. I am one of these. It takes me a good 20-30 minutes to fall asleep even when I was seriously sleep deprived. I was not trying to be a supermom I just couldn't sleep. Also, the worst thing in the world for me was to have my baby sleep with me. When I tried that I didn't sleep at all. Every sound and movement woke me up. It was awful.
We all need more sleep but everyone needs to find their own way to get it. If letting your baby do a bit of crying helps you out then I am all for it.
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9-14-2007 @ 11:49AM
Jan Bay said...I agree with Patty that new moms need to explore all avenues within the family for help. It's amazing what an extra hour of sleep will do for us and if dad and one other family member can kick in that's TWO glorious rejuvenative hours of rest. Sleep deprived overscheduled moms can be putting their children at risk.
Did anyone else see the heartbreaking story of the (stressed out exhausted) assistant principal that FORGOT that she had left her daughter asleep in her carseat in the back of the SUV with disastrous results? The video certainly gave me pause and rededicate myself to not fall into the trap of having to have an appointment book to manage my life.
http://www.unique-baby-gear-ideas.com
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9-14-2007 @ 11:57AM
Lacy said...I agree with Ethel....
I'm going through this right now! My children are 5, 3 and 3 weeks old. My 3 week old sleeps most of the day away! I would LOVE to nap when he does since I am functioning on very little sleep right now....but it isn't that easy when I have a 3 year old who would just LOVE the opportunity to set the house on fire! Lol....so, no. I can't sleep when the baby sleeps....it would mean leaving my very mischevious 3 year old unattendeded. Nice idea though.
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9-14-2007 @ 1:40PM
monika said...I also don't think the key is letting baby "cry it out." My daughter never liked sleeping with us, and she made so much noise sleeping that we moved her out of our room at 3 weeks. I think the bigger key is the article mentioning monitors. We had to move her out of our room because she was so noisy sleeping that I would think she was waking up when she really wasn't. Our room is down the hall from hers, and we just left the doors open. I figured that if she really needed us she would cry, and then I'd go get her. I got good rest because I was "tuned" to hear her crying (I would sleep through my husband's alarm) but I didn't have to hear all the baby grunts and other sleeping noises she made.
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9-14-2007 @ 12:02PM
Heather said...I am too one of those people that it always takes me at least 20-30 minutes to fall asleep, sometimes much longer. Usually once I fell asleep, my daughter would start screaming to get up. Not everyone can sleep with a baby in their bed, nursing or not. I sleep TERRIBLE, if at all when my daughter, who is now 2 sleeps with us. Every movement she makes disturbs my sleep. She's not that great of a sleeper and I got so sick of everyone telling me to just put her in my bed and that would solve everything. I slept even less and it just made me really cranky. I agree that you just have to find what works for you and just accept the fact that you're going to lose sleep during the first few months.
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9-15-2007 @ 7:51AM
wookie said...I think a big part of this is perspective. If you're a brand new first time mom, you've probably read and been told a thousand different conflicting and guilt-inducing things. A baby who is not in respitory distress will survive crying for 5-10 minutes. Babies do not need to be coddled through every peep they make at nigh! I hated the monitor for that... listening to every breath can make you paranoid. I 100% agree with ame.
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