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Celebrating birthdays at school
Filed under: Big Kids, Holidays, Day Care & Education
Ellie's 7th birthday falls on a school day this year. In the past, she attended a small private school where bringing treats to share with the class was not only allowed, it was expected. But now that she is public school, the rules have changed and the birthday goodies are banned. Instead of sharing cupcakes with her class, Ellie will hear her name mentioned on the morning announcements and her classmates will present her with a birthday card.
For me, that works just fine. We celebrate Ellie's birthday with a special family dinner out where she is allowed to bring a friend or two. She also gets a party - this year at a pottery painting studio - where she can invite anyone she wants, including classmates. I think that is enough, but some parents disagree.
When Woodhull Intermediate School school in Huntington, New York banned treats from the classroom, some parents thought it was unfair, even "un-American". Others, understanding the desire to keep the sugary stuff out of the classroom, think that healthy snacks should be allowed. A fifth-grade teacher at the school says, "It's like they're telling us to ignore a child's birthday."
But I agree with the mother who pointed out that birthdays don't always have to be about the food. And as the arrangement at Ellie's school proves, there are other ways to acknowledge a child on his or her special day. What do you think about banning birthday goodies from the classroom?
For me, that works just fine. We celebrate Ellie's birthday with a special family dinner out where she is allowed to bring a friend or two. She also gets a party - this year at a pottery painting studio - where she can invite anyone she wants, including classmates. I think that is enough, but some parents disagree.
When Woodhull Intermediate School school in Huntington, New York banned treats from the classroom, some parents thought it was unfair, even "un-American". Others, understanding the desire to keep the sugary stuff out of the classroom, think that healthy snacks should be allowed. A fifth-grade teacher at the school says, "It's like they're telling us to ignore a child's birthday."
But I agree with the mother who pointed out that birthdays don't always have to be about the food. And as the arrangement at Ellie's school proves, there are other ways to acknowledge a child on his or her special day. What do you think about banning birthday goodies from the classroom?











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
9-16-2007 @ 12:18PM
Southerncharm said...It's not only about the sugar but allergies. Some kids have allergies to peanut oils and other ingredients that are in sweets. Also, at my sons school you can't bring balloons in because of latex allergies.
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9-16-2007 @ 12:27PM
LS said...I'll admit, I was in the "irked" column when I read the take-home from Little Man's preschool that said "absolutely nothing homemade" (but high-fructose corn syrup in 'fruit cocktail/heavy syrup' is ok) and "muffins of any kind" but no "cookies, cupcakes, cakes, pudding of any kind". That means that someone can send their kid in with those Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate-Chocolate Chip "muffins" that are as big as Hulk Hogan's fist, but not a little mini-cupcake made at home, which I would venture to say comes out WAY ahead in the nutritional comparison. Anyway. I put aside my gripes because I knew that it wasn't the preschool, but the government's doctrine that they were following.
But.
My son's birthday was last week. I dutifully asked him what he'd like to bring to share, because the preschool does, in fact, allow treats on birthdays. So he chose Triscuits and "Mickey Cheese" (those little cheeses cut in the shape of Mickey Mouse heads) That day, the Snack Person brought...........
Snack Pack pudding cups in vanilla and chocolate.
The kids ate the pudding at school, and the teachers sent home the cheese and crackers in little baggies with the kids.
So I ask you. What's the point of having lists and requirements, if they are not going to be followed?
Whew, I feel better now. Deep cleansing breath...
On the positive side, Little Man came home that day with a "gift bag" from his classroom. It was an actual gift bag, and it had three books in it about birthdays and growing up, as well as a video about birthdays and two little certificates in it. One declared the bag the "Birthday Bag", and encouraged the parents to share it with the child. The other was a "Happy Birthday" certificate addressed to my son.
It was a great idea, and he returned it the next school day so someone else will get to share the joy. It's a wonderful alternative to the goodies, if they are discouraged. It made my son feel special without the sugar high (that he got anyway from the pudding... grrrr)
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9-16-2007 @ 12:54PM
Ethel said...Since when are kids birthdays celebrated at school? Is this some lower 48 dementia? The only child in my whole school age life that had her birthday celebrated needed the good will that handing out cupcakes garnered (she was d.d. and kind of an angry girl). Maybe its an Alaskan thing, but birthdays are for at home. I think this has spawned a generation that thinks its okay to take your birthday off from work too. Sheesh, its only a birthday - not a national holiday.
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9-16-2007 @ 1:02PM
ninainindia said...I think birthday treats should definately be allowed at schools. Children don't become overweight because of a birthday treat, they do beacuse of their lifestyle outside of school. Children that have an allergy can have a different treat or not have a treat, it won't kill them not to have a treat while the other kids do.
While reading this blog I am constantly amazed at the over the top rules and regulations in US schools.
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9-16-2007 @ 1:46PM
Katrina said..."Children that have an allergy can have a different treat or not have a treat, it won't kill them not to have a treat while the other kids do."
And it wont kill the kids in general NOT to have a treat at all. Or at the very least something that is safe for everyone! Imagine being in a class of 20-30 kids and every single Birthday you have to be excluded b/c of allergies. There has to be a better way to celebrate someones Birthday.
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9-16-2007 @ 10:07PM
ginger said...well i kinda see the schools point... school is to learn!! not to play games and have food out in the class if the parents really want all those kids to rekonize the childs b-day then invite them to the party but its not up to the school to keep up there schedules around a b-day party i think it nice that they do annouce it on the speaker but other than that they need to keep class going and just maybe at lunch if the school agrees the parents can bring in some treat bags for EVERYONE otherwise keep the party at home. i am a mom to 7 so i am not being mean i just think school is for learning and not every child will really care that your son or daughter is having a birthday and if they do they can give that child a b-day card on there own and it won't have any reflection on the school.
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9-16-2007 @ 3:05PM
Messed Up Mama said...Kids don't need treats at school for Birthday's. It's nice to have them but not something that's important to the birthday experiance. Let them do some crafts or have some games to play or something like that.
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9-16-2007 @ 3:32PM
nicolebarber said...I think it's great idea to bring treats as long as they stay in the guide line of whats allowed and no allergy food. Some children are not able to attend birthday parties for any number of reasons or can not afford gifts, Celebrating at school relieves some of the disappointments...
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9-16-2007 @ 4:12PM
nae said...I remember when in elementary school my mother would always bring cupcakes or cookies to school on my birthday, most parents did. Even in 2nd grade the teacher would give you a certificate to get a cookie in the lunch room on your birthday. I understand not wanting treats that other children are allergic to, or making everything come from a bakery or something like that, that eliminates the parents responsibility of looking out for allergies and makes other parents feel better about who is making their childrens food.
Even now as an adult, I work for a company in the fortune 500 list that gives each employee a rose and a card on their birthday, and my individual boss orders a cake each month to celebrate. Who knew it was such a big deal to celebrate with other children?
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9-16-2007 @ 8:41PM
Auntie Rae said...I think that banning birthday goodies from the classroom is a good idea. My school used to allow parents to bring treats and treat bags to school to celebrate their child’s birthday until this got completely out of hand. A few years ago in my first grade classroom the straw that broke the camel’s back was when in the month of October we had 10 birthday parties in the classroom, including one father who was a d.j. who transformed the classroom into a dance floor. Then there were the parents who said they would be there to help with the cake and treats and then never showed up. So there I was with a cake and treats, no knife, no plates, napkins or forks, no help and 20 students expecting to celebrate. On occasion there were parents who never asked me if they could bring a treat for their child’s birthday and then I got a call from the office saying that the child’s cupcakes, juice and treat bags had arrived. I’ll never forget when I was student teaching there was a parent who hired a clown to come into the classroom and perform for 1 hour. It’s amazing what parents will do.
Having these in-class birthday treats/parties took away a lot of instructional time. I often wondered how some of the families could afford to take the time to buy and prepare all of these treats but couldn’t find the time to read to their child at home or money to join the PTA. Priorities I guess.
I worried about children with food allergies because it was impossible to know what ingredients were inside of some of the treats. I don’t believe in separating children with food allergies while all of the other children are allowed to partake. Even if a separate treat was provided, which was very rare I might add, this child was still left out. Nor do I believe in sending a child out of the classroom whose family does not allow them to celebrate birthdays.
The other primary teachers and I went to the principal regarding this issue and as a staff we decided to ban birthday treats and parties in school. I have to admit that many parents who couldn’t afford to buy extra treats for 20 or 32 students were quite relieved with this decision. The teachers were happy to acknowledge the student on her/his birthday and then continue instruction.
Every child in my school is acknowledged on her/his birthday. Even children with summer birthdays are acknowledged. Each teacher has her/his own system in place and no child is forgotten. The students don’t seem to miss the treats either. There are so many more fun and interesting things to do with their time.
As a parent with two children in school I plan to celebrate my own children’s birthdays with friends and family outside of school. I already know that their school has a system in place to acknowledge them on their birthdays and I think that’s great. I’d prefer that they spent their time in school learning and doing fun activities rather than eating treats and having parties.
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9-16-2007 @ 8:44PM
Margaret said...My son has celiac disease, which means he's one of the 'allergy' kids. He can't have anything with wheat, barley, rye or oats. Most kids in this situation have a bag of goodies that is kept at school when there's a party. The teacher brings out his treat bag and he can enjoy a treat with everybody else. So, I don't think the allergy thing is too much of a factor here. Or at least it doesn't have to be.
A birthday at school is something the kids really look forward to. It seems like the anti obesity focus should be on:
*Marketing. NOTHING should be marketed to children, only parents.
*High Fructose Corn Syrup should be banned along with trans fats.
*Healthier foods in the cafeterias
*Keeping kids physically active.
*emphasis on neighborhood schools with 'safe' routes for walking to school
The more 'forbidden' you make sweets, the more fascinating they will become.
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9-16-2007 @ 10:40PM
SKL said...I have a different take on this. NOT EVERY FAMILY CAN AFFORD TO TREAT THE CLASS. I went to a Lutheran school where I was probably the poorest in the class and had the most siblings. Needless to say my parents did NOT send goodies with me on my birthday. My birthday is in early October, so it was the second one in my KG class - the first being September 30, on which the birthday girl brought treats and got lots of happy attention. So, I went to the KG teacher on my 5th birthday, and the conversation went like this:
"It's my birthday today."
"Did you bring any candy?"
"No."
"Well, then what do you want me to do about it?"
"[Hurt pause . . .] Nothing."
I was depressed for the rest of the day - it ruined my 5th birthday. Ruined my 6th birthday too, as I spent the whole day feeling bad about the fact that I didn't dare tell the teacher it was my special day. Needless to say I never mentioned it in any later grades, either.
I think it would be better not to have kids bringing treats because it's just another way for some kids to feel left out or inferior, and its completely unnecessary. A nice birthday card from the class, the birthday song, a birthday hat, a standard treat provided by the teacher, whatever, but the same treatment for all. I see absolutely no benefit for anyone in having children treated differently from one another on their respective birthdays in school.
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9-17-2007 @ 9:36AM
queenoqueens said...There is a boy in my daughter's class that is allergic to many things and can immediately go into shock if exposed.
I'd rather my kid go without a cupcake during the school day then to risk killing someone's kid.
How about you?
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9-17-2007 @ 10:41AM
Margaret said...I don't understand why a birthday cupcake is any different from sitting in a cafeteria next to kids who are eating foods that can cause an anaphylactic response. These are school aged kids, not toddlers and theoretically they can keep their food on their own desks. It actually seems safer for kids to eat at desks than at a shared table in a cafeteria.
Peanuts are banned from schools, but a lot of kids have an anaphylactic allergy to milk and eggs now too.
My son can get sick from ANY amount of gluten. That means if he eats something that a gluteny hand has touched, he'll be sick within the next couple of days and he'll be sick for several days.
But there is a LOT of gluten out there in the world and a school will NEVER be a gluten free environment. As long as all food is consumed in a fairly controlled way, (sitting at desks) I don't see the difference between that and the cafeteria.
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9-17-2007 @ 2:56PM
M4Mommy said...what about the kids in public schools that DONT celebrate birthdays or the traditional holidays?
Sure it is how they are being raised, but alot of those kids arent even allowed to celebrate another childs birthday or holiday.
I think it is perfectly fine to not allow cupcakes etc in the classroom. Especially with the fact most of the kids in the classroom NEED to be being taught their ABCs and 123s not having a party
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9-20-2007 @ 11:54PM
rebecca Biernesser said...I like what our school does....We celebrate birthdays...even the summer ones.
it's up to the parents if they wish to bring in a store brought treat during lunch, but otherwise, at the beginning of the year, the parents are asked to bring in small treats enough for the class room. It can be anything from stickers, to candy, to whatever. A parent gets everything together and puts it in bags and on the child's birthday, they get thier birthday bags. SUmmer birthday's get their's at the end of the year or at the beginning, depending on the teacher.
Works for our school
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10-01-2007 @ 5:14PM
Jamie said...Hi there,
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is doing a story on the cupcakes in classrooms issue. If you oppose the ban on cupcakes in schools (for any reason), please reply to this post. We would love to do an interview. Thanks so much for your help.
Jamie
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10-02-2007 @ 4:23PM
Brenda said...Why don't we just stop this whole classroom thing and educate our children in bubbles. I put lotion on my children every night after their baths. Should I not do that because someone in the world might be allergic if exposed? Should our children even be allowed to eat at school? For lunch, should we only let the children eat food that is available at the cafeteria because someone might be allergic to something that they bring from home? And then how do you stop the children from swapping lunch items? Obviously, there should be no eating at all at schools. But then how do you deal with a bunch of hungry kids and their nutritional needs?
Each child gets a bottle of Pedia-sure for lunch. That's it.
And this should be applied in the workplace as well. Lots of adults have allergies too. And cut down those damn trees that I'm allergic to. They should be erradicated from the earth. Also, lilacs make me sneeze. Cut those down too.
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11-13-2007 @ 11:47AM
Lizeek05 said...Sure I understand the food allergy, blah blah blah...but at my children's school, they are really pushing uniforms this year. So the incentive for everyone to wear a uniform is a pizza party, an ice cream party, a cookie party... They're not to worried about food allergies and bad nutrition then!
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