Documenting the journey of single parenthood

Filed under: Divorce & Custody, Development/Milestones: Babies

The self-doubt of single parenting can be overwhelming. It's one of those things: like the death of a close family member, a cherished friend -- the piercing pain can't be fathomed until it's experienced in full, living colour. For me, the questions repeat and replay. I try to turn them off, instead simmer chili in a crockpot, mark conference calls in my calender, watch the sun sink behind the trees with my son on my lap. I take part in life's benign, essential daily activities but underneath my skin the sadness lingers and I'm not sure it will ever go away. What could I have done differently? Is my son hurt irrevocably? What will it mean to him, that he'll never have a full sibling? Can I patch this, in part, so it doesn't bleed so hard, so painfully? Worst: am I unloveable, on a long term basis? Is that what this comes down to? Please no. The chili needs stirring, I need cream for coffee, Nolan needs new shoes. Other things, please, other thoughts.

It's something I don't write about often, because a lot of people read this blog, friends and family and ex-family and a lot of strangers who flip to the next story. And that's fine. While I keep relatively mum, I seek out other blogs, Moms who've been through this, who are helping cut through my pain while relaying their own.

I've been quietly reading A Garden of Nna Mmoy for at least a year now, and Andrea is a beautiful, emotionally connected writer. She's been going through a separation, and she's not afraid to document it. Her words are familiar to me, I have felt them but haven't spilled them, and I am grateful to her for repeating them and helping me know I'm not alone. I don't comment there often enough, but at least I can let her know here, that I'm grateful.

It seems to me that there are a lot of Mommy blogs, but not a whole lot of single Mommy blogs. I'd love to find some -- any recommendations?

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.