Stranded in suburbia

That is why i will never move to suberbia. Plus you usually have to drive everywhere and there is no corner store.
I would actually like to move closer todowntownand have been looking. I like the mix of people, being able to walk to the grochery store and corner store, library, clothing store ect.
Suberbia is way too boring, for me.

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I have never lived in a "big city". I lived in a suberb of Mpls for most of my life and now live on an 80 acre farm. We don't "farm" it but like the nice, quiet life. My grandchildren love to come here. We have room for "dirt bikes" and walks on "the big hill" and imaginary play. What is the "real world"? I think I live "REAL". I'm a little stung by that remark. Sorry if I have thin skin this morning. Also, we do have a corner store. It's just not "on a corner" but 4 miles away.

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Be happy! Slums are the real world too. I have been happy with money, I have been happy without, I like it better with! Your knowledge of things beyond the "gate" will be a decisive factor in her life. The important point is you are not one of those vapid, inane, opinions-based-on-limited-exposure mothers who believe physical juxtaposition to (an illusion of) safety is what they are supplying in the 'burbs.

Raising a child involves exposure to living - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc... This does not necessitate your living in the boiling pot to appreciate the taste of the stew. If you want your daughter to “taste” the diversified life you once had, there are many things you can do: attend ethnic celebrations, volunteer work, service organizations, go visit some of your old friends or acquaintances, talk about it. Kids are sponges; get 'em wet.

The only “real life” is the one you are living now… make the most of it.

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Just a note - the "suburbs" in most other countries in the world are what we call slums or at least low income areas where we would generally not want to raise our children.

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I just moved to a suburban area. I like it because it provides a little more safety and somewhat better schools for my young kids. However, I grew up in NYC. I definitely knew about the melting pot and am grateful for all the wonderful exposure I got there. I remember going to college and meeting people that had never met "ethnic" folks before and I felt very fortunate that I was not that sheltered.

However, I used to pray every night as a child that our family would not be a victim of crime. While it's good to be cautious, it kind of sucks for a child to have to live in constant fear.

I'm trying to counteract the "suburban" sheltering my getting my kids involved in city cultural events. And I'm hoping that when they're old enough, they can take whatever I've taught them and put it to good use if they decide to live in the city themselves.

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Well I certainly think the suburbs are the real world, too. That said, I know what you mean. The way you interact with her, and how you show and tell her about the world, will make up for some of the homogeneity.

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For me, "real world" for kids means they get to go off with other kids and have their own adventures all day long, all summer long, without their parents constantly watching to make sure they aren't being robbed, raped, or given drugs by the weirdos who tend to congregate in areas that you perhaps consider "real." To me, "real" isn't being stuck to your mom's skirt when you're old enough to go to school. It means being responsible to fight your own pee-wee sized battles and arrange your own day to fit in your homework and get home for dinner on time. It means doing odd jobs to get pocket money for an ice cream cone, and learning how to fix your bike so you aren't left behind when your friends go on a bike hike. And it means being able to do your own individual nature study every day in your own back yard. (Yes, grass and trees and birds and deer are real too!) Yes, it includes knowing and dealing with people from many different backgrounds, but not in the fake context that interfering parents create to control and distort even this - squelching kids' natural curiosity about others' different skin, hair, clothes, families, and resources, and their natural ability to separate out what's important from what isn't.

When I was a kid, I lived in a city neighborhood that pretty much allowed kids to do all the "real" stuff above. Nowadays, it seems American city-dwellers have become meaner on average, and neighborhoods just aren't safe for kids to be "real." Maybe it's because everyone with means left the cities during the busing era - I don't know - but at the same time, suburbs are becoming more diverse.

Fact is, on average, there is a lot more interracial hate in highly diverse (usually low-income) areas than in less diverse areas. I'm not sure why that is, but obviously the belief that your kids will grow up to love all kinds of people if they are immersed in the "reality" of diverse poverty is incorrect.

Personally I looked around for a neighborhood that is both diverse and safe. They do exist in "suburbia." If you prioritize this in your search for a house, you will find what you're looking for.

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My brother was looking at some pictures of my neighborhood gang playing around in all of the yards. He said, "It looks so....suburban." Suburban isn't a bad thing. My kids run around, play cops and robbers, tag, swing on rope swings, climb trees, splash in the sprinkler and slip n slide, ride bikes/scooters/roller skates, etc. His kids live on a busy corner and their driveway slopes steeply. They play inside or they require a parent to walk them to a nearby playground (playgrounds in his area of Germany are plentiful and wonderful!). I'm not sure why he had such a problem with "Suburbia".

The Suburbia that I live in now is not nearly as neighborly. Everyone is working fulltime to pay the mortgage and it's too darn hot for the kids to play outside during the summer (and sometimes during the winter, too!).

I think I'd prefer farm living to Suburbia, though. And keep me the heck away from anything resembling a city. Yuck!

My life is still real...it's just a different real.

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