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The mothering instinct
Filed under: Health & Safety: Babies
There was a time not so long ago when I would've taken in pretty much any animal in need of a home that I came across. I ended up with a cat that way. I almost ended up with another dog that way, and almost ended up with another cat that way.
Living near the park it was inevitable that I should come across so many strays animals, and those who were dumped by people who no longer wanted them to fend for themselves. Like many of us who live near the park or work in or near the park, we come across such animals frequently, and they temporarily take up residence in our homes.
I used to be one of those people. Even though I had two dogs and a cat I could at least overnight or for a few days hold on to an animal while pals at the ASPCA and elsewhere tried to drum up interest in adoption. Those days, I'm afraid, are now over, for me at least.
Now that I am a mother the mothering instinct in me is stronger than ever. I see animals as even more vulnerable and in need of care than I ever did. Conversely, I can't take them into my home, even temporarily.
That's a really difficult decision to make for me, as someone who has always loved and protected animals. With a brand new baby at home, and living as I do with other pets in a rather small space--one that is full of hair and dander and goodness knows what else that I can't see even though I spend an exorbitant amount of time cleaning--it's just not possible for me to take in these animals any longer.
Recently I had to make such a decision regarding some newborn kittens. There were three of them, so new two of them hadn't even opened their eyes. They would have required my full attention and round the clock bottle feeding and care, the kind a vet tech would need to give, but that I could not.
Eventually someone offered to take the one that seemed the healthiest. I don't know what happened to the other two, and I really don't want to know. I feel badly about the situation, but it's one I've faced before and will face again. As much as I want to help, I simply don't have the attention or the resources to take in any more animals.
On another occasion as we were approaching a bookstore on a busy street I noticed a small bird hobbling along. It had come from out of nowhere, as if it had fallen right next to me. It's leg was clearly broken and it wasn't going to make it unless something was done. It did not appear to be in good health. I followed the directions from a friend at the ASPCA and gave it someplace quiet and safe to hide and eventually, probably, die.
That was the most I could do. It was a wild animal and a bird, and I know nothing of caring for either of those things, as much as I wanted to.
Being a parent is all sorts of things, and it means making decisions you wouldn't have before you had kids, or making decisions you didn't know you could make. In my heart I want to scoop up every hurt or unwanted animal I meet and take care of them, but I know I can't.
Luckily I do have a contact at the ASPCA to help out with those things, and there are vets and other places in the city that will still accept animals and try to rehabilitate them. I point the people with the animals and the animals themselves in such directions in the hopes that I can help them in that way.
I can't wait until my son is old enough to start bringing stray animals home and asking to keep them! It will be harder than ever to say no, and I bet at least once I cave. What about you? What would or did you do when your child brings home a new "pet?"
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
9-27-2007 @ 7:20PM
Joy said...I have ended up now with four cats and one dog this way. I just CAN'T say no to them. I am just weaning a five week old kitten that got left at my son's house two weeks ago. She's just adorable and would have frozen to death had I not brought her in and taken care of her. But my kids are grown and I have the time and the love. I realize some can't do what I do. How can people just leave animals this way???
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9-27-2007 @ 10:10PM
DaMoKi Bob said...Jennifer, you hit 'the' subject. I have seven* cats. We got them all as they wandered in the yard over time, some injured, some hungry, all lost and in need of someone who cared. The are all indoor cats with four cat boxes and lots of nail trimming (we don't de-claw).
Cowboy - Short Hair Maine Coon type, 20 lbs.
Simon - Snow Shoe Siamese
Mikey - Tuxedo
Gracie - Gray Short Hair
Tordy - Tortoise Shell
Butters - Yellow Short Hair
Bug - Whiney Black Short Hair
They all have personallities and quirks, but get along fine.
Joy, I agree with you, how can people be so hollow as to abandon a domestic animal on its own. Yes it may survive, but survival without companionship is worthless, not to mention the 'getting dumped' part. Bob Barker had it right, spay and neuter is the only thing which will curb the huge number of abandoned cats, dogs, ducks, bunnies, gerbils, and other substitutes for parental imagination.
* actually we have nine because my son moved home to continue his education and brought two with him: Habu - a bi-polar cat with a broken tail, and Baby (or Bobcat, or BeanBag, or Tublet... depends on what he is into at the time)who is a cat he found living in a dumpster (at five months old) as he was leaving his evening job. He made me happy because he cares too.
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9-27-2007 @ 10:58PM
Jenn said...This is indeed "the" subject for me too. I'm still mulling over the possibility of opening a cat shelter -- I love dogs, but I adore cats. I can't take in any more...with 3 people (including a toddler), 3 cats, and a puppy, our little house is bursting at the seams as it is.
There are a few strays that I feed, and I am hoping to catch them at some point to be spayed and/or neutered. Because I can't take in any more, I give money instead, and when my Squeaker is a little older, I think we will start volunteering at one of the local shelters.
I don't understand how people can leave their pets behind. Mine are as much my babies as my daughter; I could never simply abandon them.
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9-28-2007 @ 12:19AM
DaMoKi Bob said...Jenn,
I have had dogs (G. Shepard, Newfoundland) and I envy you having a puppy. I want a puppy! I can't have a puppy... because there is no yard, well, there is a yard, there's just no grass due to years of collecting perennials and shrubs and stuff which have taken all the space... I don't even have a lawn mower (yeah!). We have plants galore, and lots of birds. Wait a second, that may be where all the cats came from... hmmmmm
Anyway, I'm with you, I like dogs, but cats are at another level. Thanks for caring!
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9-28-2007 @ 9:17AM
sarah said...My parents are also people who take in animals who wander into the yard and set up shop... I have a feeling I would be too, but I have to cross my fingers and hope no kitties show up at my door.. as my apartment doesn't allow cats/dogs (and I think my lovebird, cockatiel and hamster might take exception to a cat)....
But yeah, that's how my parents ended up with 5 cats. Well.. Sadie, Spookie and Cheeto came from an animal shelter, but Noodles just showed up in the yard a few years ago (and there is nothing noodly about her anymore, she is a tub!) and in July, Boo joined the family when the (then feral and very teeny) kitten turned up on the back porch and Josie, the dog, chased her up a very tall tree, where she was stuck for about 13 hours. The animal control folks didn't have a tall enough ladder and the fire department wouldn't help (I guess they don't really get kittens out of trees, but we figured it was worth a shot!).... so a few hours later when we had more or less given up and resigned ourselves to hoping she would calm down and climb down during the night, there was a knock at the door and a police officer was there with the struggling and unhappy Boo in his arms. He offered to drop her off at the animal shelter but our shelter is not a no-kill and we didn't think a feral kitten's chances of adoption were good, so my parents took her in. It only took about two weeks to tame her and now she's just another member of the household!
Sorry for the long story, I just like telling it. I have a sinking feeling once I move out of my apartment, even the angry glares of my cage-bound pets might have a hard time keeping me from taking in dogs and cats in need of homes.. at least temporarily. Like everyone else who's commented, I can't fathom ditching a pet who's come to love and trust you, and I always feel terrible for a stray animal who just wants attention.
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