No fair! I have turned into my father

by Sandy Maple (Subscribe to Sandy Maple's posts) Sep 30th 2007 5:02PM

Categories: Just For Moms, Kids 5-7, Just For Dads, Development

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When I was a child, one of my favorite complaints was "It's not fair!" This was usually uttered in a whiny voice in response to being told anything contrary to what I wanted to hear. Apparently, this amused my father to no end. He would put on his happy face and give me his stock answer: "Life's not fair". I think it was the smiling and calmness of his tone that infuriated my little kid self to no end. I was agitated and he should be,too!

Of course, he was right, life isn't fair. And as much as I detested hearing those words of wisdom from my father, I now find myself repeating them to Ellie. Every day. Multiple times. I try not to appear amused when I say them, but I sometimes can't help it. I am smiling not because it makes me happy to disappoint her, but because it makes me feel closer to my father, who passed away several years ago.

Have you appropriated some of your parent's words of wisdom that you now ~~inflict upon~~ share with your kids?

Comments (8)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Joy 9-30-2007 @ 5:40PM

My dad always used to say "if you have to do something, you may as well do it right". I always used to say "I wish" for everything. He would say "if you wish in one hand and s**t in the other, which will get full faster"?

rebecca Biernesser 9-30-2007 @ 10:12PM

I find myself telling my children or nieces the following:

"B/c I love them more"

My mom would tell my brothers and I that wentever we complained that they got to do something we didn't and how come they get to do it...I still remember getting mad and storming off...She laughes and says she did it b/c then she didn't have to hear us anymore...lol...so now I do it and laugh...

Joy 10-01-2007 @ 12:59AM

I love that one Rebecca. I'll say that to my granddaughter and she looks at me and says (with both eyebrows raised....) Oh Grandma!!!!!!

DaMoKi Bob 10-01-2007 @ 7:42PM

Sandy,

My dad passed away two yrs ago @ 91. I still hear lots of things like "Don't do that, you want to go blind?" No wait, that was my brother.

Dad said, "You can pay more for a good one once, or less for a cheap one twice." I think he was talking about tools...

Seriously, I find it interesting that my adult son now says things which remind me of what my dad once said. The cycles continue; apparently, I did something right.

Joy 10-02-2007 @ 1:05AM

DaMoKiBob...it's funny what you say. I find myself seeing my kids doing things that they have no idea that "someone" else did way before them. Neither of my kids look like me but like others in my extended family. Whether it be an expression or just a "look". My oldest son has a way of sitting with his legs underneath him in a way I'd never seen anyone else do. His son, my grandson sits the same way. It was my grandfather who died when I was 9....he sat the same way. My youngest son says things that his paternal grandfather would have said all the time. I just look at them and think....oh, man..Isn't it great???

DaMoKi Bob 10-02-2007 @ 2:14AM

Joy,

I know what you mean, I see my dad in a lot of my son's facial expressions and he has no idea. Otherwise there is little resemblance: dad was 5'3" and stocky, my son is 6'4", lean and muscular.

The similarities are actually nice though, like a cord connecting the generations, but then, it will be lost eventually, so we may want to enjoy it in the moment. Which is about the only time we can... right? Come to think of it, it's about time for me to enjoy my pillow... 'nite.

Ethel 10-05-2007 @ 12:48PM

Whenever I said "that's not fair" my mother would say "the fair is a place you go to ride rides and eat funnelcakes honey, Life is not fair". I have said this many times to my three kids as well as the old standard "because I said so". I swore when I was a kid that I'd never tell my kids that. But, sometimes, that really is the reason. My father was the optimist of the family. When I came home from a bad day at school he was the first to say, "at least you got to wake up and see the sun this morning. Think of all those people who didn't." And, when asked "how are you doing?" he always replied "can't complain, doesn't do me any good." I also find myself repeating these phrases to my children. I sometimes wonder if they think I'm bipolar.

Chad 11-30-2007 @ 7:46AM

I don't have kids of my own, but I learned a lot from my father. When I would complain that life wasn't fair, he would always respond, "Well, what IS fair?" That would usually end up with me demanding what I wanted and dad asking me how that was fair to somebody else. The nice aspect of this was that it made me THINK, instead of just obey because he was an authority figure. I'll admit that it backfired on him and has caused me to question ALL authority, but I'm sure that I'll serve penance for that by raising a little die-hard republican. :-)

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