Fish follow through

I dunno, it sounds like a lot of responsibility for a five year old to me. My son is four, and I can't see making him totally responsible for feeding and caring for fish any time soon.

I would probably have him feed the fish, but watch him do it for quite a while. That way he has some responsibility, but not too much for his age. I would also have him help with cleaning duties every time (but again, not leave him to do it on his own).

I would eventually want to make him more responsible, but I guess I believe in doing things like that in steps. Too much responsibility too soon can be way overwhelming and it seems to me kids can sometimes just give up if too much is asked all at once.

I guess if it were me I would keep the tank but oversee him more for the time being, gradually moving to him doing it on his own. Five is still pretty young. :)

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When we setup our 20 gallon tank and had the water tested weekly we had to run it for almost a full month before our local (privately owned) pet store said that the water was ready for fish. Yes, this includes danios or any type of cheaper fish.

My own concern with our baby is that when he gets older I need to make sure he knows that fish can die easily even when you did everything perfectly. My wife, who had never setup a fish tank in her life, cried profusely when our very first beta died, and I felt terrible because I hadn't told her how easily it can happen (I was the only one with previous fish experience).

Get a water testing kit. Get a notebook and create a logbook/journal of your tanks test results so you can track it over time. Most of the chemical buffers are pretty cheap, and if you need adjust the chemical levels in the water it becomes a mini-chemistry set. Gravel vacuums are cheap and are fun to operate with kids, and they also do a great job of cleaning the tank.

I guess my big point here is, when our son is old enough to have a small tank in his room or even to help me with the bigger tanks we have in the house, I plan on turning a fish's death into a lesson about overcoming adversity. Yes, the fish died, but you can do a lot to help prevent it in the future.

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You obviously missed Jonathon's post about fishtanks!

I think Jay covered everything though :D

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Jason,

April gave good advice! Most (I mean virtually all) 5 year olds don't have the neural development to handle that level of responsibility well. They can say they will, and they can try, and on occasion they will do it ok, (please no stories how your five year old breed fish and developed a new species then wrote a paper on it for Fish and Game Magazine).

The real deal is to do what April suggested. I think you should keep the tank, put it in a common area and remove the responsibility for now. You feed and care for it and thereby set the example from which your kid can learn. Explain to your son you would like to enjoy the fish too, but want him to help only when you are around for now. He won't feel hurt by this. Getting to do stuff with a parent is good.

Then later, he can assume more responsibility. At some point he will want to get his own or move yours into his room. This will save a lot of fish.

My story: I got my son a gerbel and put it in a small glass tank with the wheel, and other stuff including a small glass bowl for a "bed". I came home to find a wet gerbel dead in the bowl. My son was very upset, and after gentle questioning he told me he took the gerbel for a swim in the sink. My wife and I felt for him and considered getting another type of animal for the tank, maybe fish this time, but we were fearful he would take them for a walk.

Good luck!

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Fish die. Often. Even with two adults (one of them an actual rocket scientist!) taking care of a 20 gallon fish tank, we've lost half a dozen or more over the course of the year.

I think you're being way too harsh, and you need to make this a fun experience. With the rules you've set, you're setting your child up for failure.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

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I agree with Amy. Too young to start that level of responsibility. Also confirm that fish die unexpectedly and easily.

If you decide to keep the fish tank, I would also suggest planning what to say when he gets attached to a fish and it mysteriously dies.

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I think it's too much responsibility, but you should keep the tank. It's also not a good lesson to him that you can discard animals willy-nilly. Tell him when he's older he can be involved again and maybe given him interim chores to prove his responsibility.

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A 25 gallon tank is a bit much for a 5 year old to be responsible for. Maybe you should consider moving the tank to a common area like the kitchen or living room.

I'm wondering though, when you scooped up the tank you said that it had all the pumps and filters, does it have an undergravel filter, canister, or one that hangs on the back of the tank? If it has
one that hangs on the back was there a NEW filter element included? If not and the one in there was used it is very possible to pass on disease to your fish, a bit to late I know but for others who might pick up a tank, NEVER reuse an old filter element from a tank always buy a new one.

Fish die, it's part of owning them. You can't blame a 5 year old for that, especially when you were so hasty in buying them.

The tank should have sat at least over night if not longer and you should have put Start Right in BEFORE you bought the fish. Not doing this causes the fish more stress and stress will kill them. Chemicals in tap water is not good for them.

I have my own set of rules for setting up a fish tank. My number one, after filling wait for all bubbles clinging to the glass to disapate before adding fish. This usually takes about 3 days. Then I add the Start Right and wait another day then fish may be added.

Keeping a fish tank isn't easy. Fish are delicate little creatures, the parameters have to be kept in check, the tempature has to be kept in check for the type of fish you buy.

Before you buy fish you should always research them and find out if you can add them to your community tank. Or for first time buyers find out what type of fish you will be able to handle keeping, as others require more care.

What angers me most is that some people have an "oh well,it's just a fish" attitude when a fish dies. They flush it buy a new one and repeat the cycle, until they get tired of dying fish. Never stopping to think that it's because of what they are doing, or not doing that is causeing the death of these fish.

I cannot say it enough..reasearch research research. You wouldn't buy a dog or a cat or a bird and have the same attitude, why fish? Because they are cheap to buy? There is something wrong with that.

Anyhow here are the specs on keeping Zebra Danio's
As quoted from About.com.

Scientific Name: Danio rerio
Family: Cyprinidae
Origin: Eastern India
Adult Size: 2 inches (6 cm)
Social: Peaceful, suitable for community tanks
Lifespan: 5 years
Tank Level: All levels
Minimum Tank Size: 10 gallon
Diet: Omnivore, eats most foods
Breeding: Egglayer
Care: Easy
pH: 6.5 - 7.0
Hardness: 5-12 dGH
Temperature: 64-74 F (18-24 C)

Description:
Among the most hardy and active of aquarium fish, the Zebra danio is easily recognized by its distinctive horizontal stripes. The slim compressed silver-gold body sports blue-purple horizontal stripes running from gill to tail.

Their small size, no more than two and half inches, and peaceful nature, make them well suited to a community aquarium. Both sexes have two pairs of barbels and the same stripes, but females are usually larger and more full-bodied than the males.

Habitat/Care
Zebras are primarily surface dwelling fish that favor moving waters. Technically they are considered cold-water fish, preferring water in the 64-75 degree range. However, they will adapt to a wide range of water conditions.

They should be provided with plenty of lighting and an open swimming space, together with some vegetation.

Diet
Zebra danios are omnivorous, accepting almost any foods. Although undemanding in diet, they particularly enjoy small live or frozen inverts, and fresh vegetable matter.

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I actually saw an idea (I think on parent hacks) for kids feeding fish. since they always want to dump the whole jar of fish food...instead get a pill case, the kind that has sun. - sat. containers and put a pinch of food in each one that way he can open the section for that day and dump the food (pre measured) easily into the fish tank...there you go, no more over feeding the fish.

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This sounds to me like you`re punishing your son for your own hastiness and lack of responsibility.

According to what you wrote, *you* made the choice to pick that fish tank up. You made the choice to set it up in your son`s room. Of course he isn`t going to complain, and of course he`s going to be thrilled... But that doesn`t mean that he was ready for the responsibility. *You* wanted a fish tank. He`s just a willing participant.

Now when he doesn`t do a perfect job of taking care of something he wasn`t really ready for and that you wanted most, you`re going to punish HIM. Doesn`t exactly sound right to me.
Think of it in more adult terms. If there was a brand new, fresh recruit in a big company - and his boss decides that he wants to do something really intensive and cool, that the new employee is in NO way ready for.....
Who will be the one in trouble if the project flops? I seriously doubt it will be the unsuspecting recruit. He just wants to please his boss and was probably thrilled to be trusted. If a head flies, it will be that of the boss who should have either known better or done it himself.

-You- should take responsibility for the fish, and your son should not be punished for it. You`ve asked him to do something he really is not yet capable of doing, because *you* thought it was a cool idea. To punish your son for not managing it is just cruel.

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Thank you for all your well thought out, and requested for, feedback. I will let him keep the fish, and I will be the one responsible for them.

Note: I had to stop from lashing out at some of the comments with a more accusatory tone. I love my son more than anything and am doing the best I can to teach him about every aspect of life, death of fish and parental mistakes included.

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First, as someone else said: fish die. Fish die for no reason at all, fish get "expelled" from the school and killed, the water abruptly goes foul and the whole tank goes belly up. (Hell, or the chemical composition of your tap water changes abruptly and everyone goes belly up after a water change. Here's some odd advice: if your water is from shallow wells or a river source surrounded by farm land, don't do water changes 2 days after big rain storms. There may be excess nitrogen from fertilizer in the water source at that point and that'll kill them good. I know people locally who have lost tanks of fish to this issue.)

I think that care of a fish tank is too much responsibility for a 5 year old, and that a fish tank (or gerbil, or any other small animal) should be a "family" pet at that point and taken care of by the parents. Some kids develop the maturity to take care of that type of pet around age 7-8, some not until later. I don't know any 5-year-old who has that type of maturity.

We have a 135 gallon tank which can no longer house fish (the top supports snapped and thus it's no longer safe to have 135 gallons of water in it, and I plan to turn it into a terrarium+small reptile tank when the kid gets interested in reptiles. But I know those reptiles will be my responsbility for many years.

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What was the point of the "note" Jason? No one doubted your love for your son. You asked for opinions, be a big boy and take it. The "note" is your passive aggressive way of still letting people know you were pissed.

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We have 3 fish tanks. 45 gallon, 20 gallon, and a 10 gallon. You never know if the fish you bought from the store are sick when you get them. Some of them are already on their way out. Our major problem is fish beating each other to death even though their aggression levels are mutual (which theoretically means they should be able to handle their own).

I agree with the research part, we bought a Pacu when he was under an inch long. Now the monster is about 10" round and about 3" thick. He will eat any new fish that is small enough for him to bite. I never expected him to get THIS big and now I'm going to have to get a larger tank to accomodate him because the pet store won't let me give him back (which the normally do let you give them fish and they'll resell them).

I think it's great to have something like this to learn about with your son. Before I got with my hubby, I knew nothing about fish tanks. They are SO much work and they rack up the money extremely fast until they are up and running well.

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It is a lot of resposibility for any child never mind a 5 yr old. I ahte when articles say is your child ready for the resposibilty of a pet?
A pet is a family responisbility. Everyone in the house has to take care of it. Not just the kids, not just the paretns. Often one person ends up taking care of the pet. Weather it is a parent or the oldest child.

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Jessica, (and Roger)

You were out of line in your comment about the "note". I would not have been as tactful in response to an accusation disguised as counsel. His gentle focus on the need to maintain a polite, civil tone was appropriate.

When I read the one I believe he was reacting to, I had a reaction of my own; I thought "Golly, I wonder if that was his mother-in-law?"

And, the ill-formed comments remind me of something I used to say to my kids when they spoke in an unacceptable manner, "What you said may normally be right, but you will never be right with me in that tone of voice!"

There is nothing wrong with letting someone know you are a bit upset with their words or actions. So, it is less a matter of being a big boy, and more about getting what you settle for. Even as big boys, I and apparently Roger, won't settle for an uncalled for accusatory tone.

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Jason,

My appologies, I know it you your post, but I was chatting with "Roger" just before I wrote the previous comment and I was a bit pissed off myself anyway... Sorry!

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The fish died because your tank is full of ammonia (yes the same stuff you use to clean windows) a tank has to cycle before you can add fish. If fish survive the cycling process they'll be sickly and not live to their full life span.

You didn't cycle the tank so it certainly isn't your son's fault the fish died. Google "fishless cycling" it takes a month + to a tank to be ready for fish, and a 5 yo certainly isn't ready for the responsibility to caring for a tank. I would suggest returning the danios to the store and setting up the tank in a common area where you can keep a good eye on it. I would research fish care with your son and set a good example about responsibility for him.

A HUGE part of being responsible for fish, or any pet is researching it BEFORE you buy it. Danios would be a great species for a beginner fish keeper, but only after all the research has been done.

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