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Assessing and downsizing Christmas gifting
Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Preschoolers, Teens, In The News, Media, Day Care & Education
In Little House in the Big Woods, Laura and Mary received a pair of red wool mittens and a stick of peppermint candy for Christmas. Because Laura was the youngest, she got the bonus gift of a rag doll from Santa.
Kind neighbor Mr. Edwards saved Christmas in Little House on the Prairie by wading across a flooded creek to make the delivery of a tin cup, peppermint stick, heart-shaped cake sprinkled with sugar, and shiny new penny to the girls because Santa was too old and fat to cross. Every one of those items was treasured.
Now think back to the Christmas gifts you bought your kids last year. How many do they still find entertaining or treasure? How many were donated or sold in garage sales by spring?
An article at the Motley Fool is asking parents to take a hard look at Christmas presents past and not repeat wasteful and expensive buying mistakes.
The tips include:
- Choose toys that are open-ended. Open-ended toys (think Legos, block sets, dolls/action figures, and art supplies) allow your children to use their imagination in the pursuit of limitless fun. Each time your child plays with an open-ended toy can be an entirely different experience. So these types of toys have a much higher play value than toys that "script" the play for your child.
- Be critical of last year's toys. How did they fare in terms of repeat play? Were your kids done with them in a week or do they still occasionally play with them? What went wrong? It's important to figure out what works for your children so you can repeat your successes and avoid wasting money on duds.
- Go age-appropriate. It's tempting to ignore toys' age recommendations altogether. But sometimes the age recommendations account for what we may have forgotten: Often, a child's developmental profile varies across skill sets. Your child may be intellectually advanced but have fine or gross motor skills that are just right for his age. He may like the looks of the toy, but if his fingers aren't strong enough yet to operate the remote control, you'll have one unhappy, frustrated kid.
- Don't set the bar too high. Consider setting your own limits on gifts, whether it's a dollar amount you'll spend on each child or a number of gifts per child. Setting a limit will force you to approach potential purchases more critically.
- Spend more on traditions, less on stuff. It's easy to get sucked into thinking you have to spend a lot to make your holidays wonderful. But kids tend not to remember the things they got for Christmas; what they talk about most, long after the holiday has passed, is the fun things they did to celebrate as a family.
Another article that caught my interest addressed the shared responsibility adults have for the cheap, lead-filled toys flooding the American market. If parents (and other gift givers) concentrated on buying one good toy instead of showering children with armfuls of beautifully wrapped bargains, there wouldn't be so many available.
Paring down a Christmas shopping list to one good toy per kid might be difficult in this age of excess, but getting back to the Little House mentality would free our lives of clutter, keep our kid's wish lists in check, and be an environmental choice.
With four kids, we were forced to keep our gift buying in check long ago (1 good gift and 2 smaller items per kid) but usually there is only one item the kids really play with and the others are a waste.
Is one good gift something you've done or would consider implementing in your family?











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
10-14-2007 @ 1:51PM
Karen said...We have always done Christmas up big, but so does my MIL. One year we opened presents for 7 hours. The kids gave up after 3 hours and I was frustrated. We have been paring down ever since, but our children still get 30 or more things from Santa alone. And that is in addition to the one BIG gift -- a bike, swingset, iPOD, etc. I do work in lots of practical stuff. They always gets a new set of sheets, etc.
This is likely the last year that my youngest will believe in Santa, and e are going to change things up. They are going to get 3 gifts (a la 3 wise men) and I intend for it to be one thing they really want, one thing they really need and one other.
Then...I'm going to take the money I used to spend on stuff (that they don't want or need) and take a family vacation at Christmas. All family members are welcome to make their own arrangements and join us (they won't), but we are going to focus on EXPERIENCES instead of stuff.
I'm going to tell everyone that we are no longer buying gifts and we do not wish to receive them. I do plan to concentrate on birthdays instead. Hopefully, we can focus on spiritual issues more without the distractions of "stuff."
Of course...this is just the PLAN. I'll let you know how it goes over! LOL
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10-14-2007 @ 2:16PM
Uly said..."#
# Spend more on traditions, less on stuff. It's easy to get sucked into thinking you have to spend a lot to make your holidays wonderful. But kids tend not to remember the things they got for Christmas; what they talk about most, long after the holiday has passed, is the fun things they did to celebrate as a family. "
That's good advice for everyone, year-round. Do people really need more stuff?
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10-14-2007 @ 2:13PM
Ann Adams said...Since we had all girls, I'd often get one big (relatively speaking) for them to share. Last year it was the Play Station; the year before a keyboard and karaoke (sp?). Two years ago (I think) a used computer.
The rest was mostly clothes, art supplies, and a few stocking fillers (fancy bath supplies, etc.)
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10-14-2007 @ 3:07PM
Robin said...I'm only in my twenties, so I came of age in a time when over-the-top Christmases were gaining steam. I have wonderful memories of my own childhood holidays, though, so I've taken the same approach with my kids - one wrapped present from my husband and I, one each from the grandparents, and a little stocking full of things from 'Santa', which usually includes a paperback book or a CD plus chocolate (and an orange in the toe.)
Now that I'm an adult, a few great gifts stand out, but for the most part it's the season I remember: reading Christmas stories or watching holiday movies, baking, and going out to see the light display at the park. I grew up not having as many trendy toys as my friends, but I was happy to play with them at their houses - and those trends passed quickly. I think I came to a sense of quality vs. quantity a lot earlier in life because of my parents' restraint, and I'm hoping my kids will come to the same appreciation.
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10-14-2007 @ 7:03PM
aprilw said...I love the Little House Books! Remembering those Christmas gifts brings back the best memories.
Here is our Christmas policy we decided two years ago:
Each child gets: Something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.
It has worked great for us! It gives them some variety, but keeps the gifts down to a manageable (and enjoyable) number. It is also a catchy rhyming saying I can use to remember what I am looking to buy!
They recieve gifts from other people too anyway, and I think after a certain point too many gifts are overwhelming and go unapreciated.
I was inspired to think about planning gifts more carefully after reading "The Complete Tightwad Gazzette" by Amy Dacyczyn. She has this theory about how kids really don't get anymore excited after the second present so after that it is kind of a waste. I am not down to two presents (yet!), but that inspired me to talk and really plan out how I was going to do it from then on.
We also purchase a gift from Oxfam with the kids for someone in a thrid world country each Christmas, to encourage them to think of others. (Similar to the Heifer project I remember as a kid) http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/Browse.aspx?catalog=Unwrapped&category=UWGifts
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10-15-2007 @ 8:16AM
Jennifer (Furore and Frenzy) said...My children are young, 3 years and 20 months respectively. We have always done a simple Christmas for them. It seemed I was forever hearing my coworkers with older children complaining that they couldn't keep up with the expectations of their children. As their children's tastes became more expensive they still expected the same number of presents. I vowed to nip the material ideas of Christmas in the bud. In our house Santa brings a stocking and one present per child which is unwrapped and waiting for them on Christmas morning. It is often whatever toy they have coveted. We get them each a present that is wrapped. So they have one gift from Santa and one from us (with a stocking which is full of nice things as well). However the kids still get tons of stuff from grandparents, aunts, uncles, coworkers, their daycare provider etc. They most certainly do not go without. I can't even think of how much they would have on Christmas if we did dote upon them as well.
Now my brother purchases his children many presents and thinks that I am being stingy and mean. However, the bottom line is that my kids enjoy their holiday every bit as much as their cousins. There's excitement, energy, and spirit thrown into the season. That is all they need.
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10-15-2007 @ 11:03AM
Amanda Pillion said...We do the rule of 3. The kids each get a gift from Mommy, a gift from Daddy, and a gift from Santa. My parents, gradparents, and inlaws go overboard, so we do not. We get enough plastic crap influx as it is. We decided that this was the original Christmas tradition - the 3 wise men, and all that, and it keeps us in check. Each gift is carefully chosen, and the kids are perfectly happy. Of course, being 5, 3 and 10 months at Christmas makes taht part easy.
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10-15-2007 @ 10:57AM
Nicola said...Agreed. We are definitely going into a "less stuff" phase (after three years of way too much baby/toddler/kid stuff!). This Christmas we have agreed to give only quality wooden learning toys, games (he loves the Haba German board games and they are great for his development on so many levels), books, and practical items. Its the "new"ness that makes things special to our guy, he doesn't care if its only a book, but unwrapping it and having a new book is a big deal. No more plastic junk. No more junk period.
Also, same as one poster above, we showered him with gifts last Christmas (the first year that he really "got it") and guess what? He opened a couple of great toys, wanted to play with them, and completely ignored the rest. We ended up opening his presents and showing them to him while he moved on to other activities. What's the point?
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10-15-2007 @ 12:10PM
dee said...I guess that I've been living in a closet somewhere.
I recently got into a discussion elsewhere about children's FAMILY-ONLY birthday parties were the kids were receiving 30-50 gifts each. That just blew me away: my son received 10 gifts for his birthday this year, and I thought that was a bit over the top.
For Christmas, he's probably going to get one "big" toy from us (I've been looking at kitchen sets and little kid railway sets since he loves both of those type of things), some clothing, some books. The gift limit will probably be about $100.
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