School considering offering birth control to middle school girls
Filed under: Health & Safety: Babies, In The News, Day Care & Education, Gadgets
A proposal that a student health center in a middle school offer free contraceptives to students who request it has some people up in arms. (In fact, the reader who sent the link titled it: "CAN YOU FREAKING BELIEVE IT?")
However, it's more involved than a kid walking in and being handed an Ortho Tri-Cyclen packet. Lead nurse of the school clinics, Amanda Rowe says the staff would discuss all aspects of having sex at a young age, from the emotions involved to sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. Says Rowe, "We don't just sign them up (for birth control)." If it becomes obvious after the talk that the student has not been dissuaded from sexual activity, only then would contraceptives be suggested.
Odds are, if you are reading a parenting website like this one, you are an involved parent. Unfortunately, not every child has someone like that in their life.
"We ask some children, 'Who is the adult in your life? Who is the adult you most identify with?'" said Rowe. "Some children can't identify anyone. It's totally sad."
If there were never hugs or high fives for a job well done, no one asking who they sat by at lunch, or how progress on their homework/leaf collection/ancient Egypt project is coming, children might start looking for something to fill the emotional void. Some assume intimacy is the answer.
Of course, they are wrong, but when hormones started kicking in and with no mentor or trusted adult to tell them sex isn't the answer, it's all systems go. I was agog at a pair of 8th graders necking in front hundreds of spectators at a recent high school football game. If they're like that in public, what are they like when no one is around?
I'm not upset with the school, I'm sad it is necessary and grateful someone is doing something for these kids. What do you think?












ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
10-17-2007 @ 4:01PM
Eva said...I agree with you, however I worry about children taking medicines without the knowledge/consent of their parents, from a medical standpoint. That said, lots and lots of middle schoolers, even elementary school students, are doing sexual things now. When I was a social worker I saw too many pregnant young teens who had no understanding of sex (which baffled me) and certainly not of contraception or self-protection. Somebody has to give them this info.
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10-17-2007 @ 4:09PM
Angie Felton said...That's a really good point, Eva. I also wonder about kids that young being able to remember antibiotics mess with the pill's reliability.
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10-17-2007 @ 4:19PM
dawn said...AMEN! It's about time people realize that our kids are doing things alot earlier than we were. I think that if the school wants to give my daughter the pill and proper education I give them 2 thumbs up. I've already decided and told my girls that when that time comes they must come to me and I will pay each month for them for the pill and for condoms.
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10-17-2007 @ 4:33PM
Karen said...This has nothing to do with whether or not children are having sex, but what rights the parents have in the health/medical care of their children.
I absolutely do not want my child given medicine without my knowledge. Birth control is not side effect free and it is irresponsible to dispense medication and yet have uninformed parents.
But even if I was ok with my child receiving meds without my knowledge, I would not want the school to be the one handing them out. The school is like an authority figure and while my child knows about contraceptives, she won't be getting them from me. It implies consent. The same goes for the school. The MOST I would want them to do is to refer them to another facility.
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10-17-2007 @ 5:26PM
Sandyone said..."I think that if the school wants to give my daughter the pill and proper education I give them 2 thumbs up."
Wow. Would you be pleased if they gave them heartburn medication? Antibiotics? Steroids (even the legal ones)? Phenobarbetol? Vitamin supplements? Aspirin? All without your knowledge? If so, now I understand why schools think it's their job to raise kids.
Take the sex aspect out of this and it would never fly. Parents would see all of the problems and realize that this is not a good thing for children...their own or "those poor kids with crappy parents."
The intended target might be that kid who has no adult in his life, but that won't be the only kid who gets birth control without Mom or Dad's knowledge. They'd be more than happy to serve my children, believing that I'm old-fashioned and don't know any better. With the consent I (hypothetically) gave for them to administer tylenol or asthma medication, I'd be authorizing them to make this decision for my child.
I just can't fathom that so many people think that it's ok to undermine a parent's authority like this. Teachers and nurses have been spiriting girls off for abortions for years, now. I guess we're all ok with that so they might as well move on to drugs and hormones.
How does the school nurse know a child's medical history? Does she know about the history of breast cancer that strikes every other or every third woman in the family? How about blood problems that other family members have that the student might also be prone to? Has she studied the long term effect of putting these hormones into a body that has yet to be exposed to the naturally occurring ones? Has she done any research on the long term effects of making a pre-pubescent body think that it's pregnant?
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10-17-2007 @ 5:14PM
Joy said...Boy..this is a tough one from a "good" parents point of view. When I worked in the schools I saw only to well the kids who came to school with no lunch and were hugry when they got there. I saw to it they had something to eat. Kids who came with no gloves in the freezing MN winters, nobody watching them in their music programs and nobody to have the cookies and a friendly ear when they got home. This isn't about parents like "us" Karen. It's for the kids who have nobody who cares at home. I also hate the thought of a school doing something this extreme for my child BUT, I'm there for my children, some others aren't so lucky. So for them, I dare say, I think this is a good thing. Someone has to be there for them and sadly, the kids who have no one at home for them are the ones who look for love in all the wrong places and think sex and love are the same thing.
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10-17-2007 @ 5:07PM
Maureen said...Wow. I'm a bit stunned that a school would try to hand out contraceptives to minors without parental consent. I don't even want them giving a tylenol unless there is an emergency situation and I can't be reached.
Free condoms, YES. Free birth control pill without parental consent, NO WAY!
There are medical risks involved with the pill and youngsters might feel a false sense of security if they take the pill... they need condoms, folks, to protect against STDs.
I, as an adult woman, cannot even go to the pharmacy and get the pill (except emergency pill) without a prescription.
I could go on and on.... we need to spend more money on parental education so that we can talk openly with our kids about this and make informed decisions with them when the time comes. That is what I plan on doing.
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10-17-2007 @ 5:14PM
Caelligh said...I would have no problem with this is the parents were in the loop or if we were talking about barriers like condoms and oral sex dams. I see nothing wrong with 13 year-olds taking birth control or receiving them for free from the school, but they're too young to making those decisions for themselves.
Since when can anyone get any prescription medication without first going through a doctor?
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10-17-2007 @ 5:18PM
Croft said...Karen I am not sure what the rules are where you live (I live in CA), but when I was 15 (that was over 16 years ago) I asked my pediatrician about birth control and he promptly sent me on to an OB who prescribed them for me without any consent from my parents. They actually had no rights to even discuss my request or my prescription with my parents. My point being - from the school or elsewhere your kid can get birth control without you knowing about it.
As for this program, being the mother of a girl I cringed when I saw middle school in the title of this post, not because they were giving out BC, but because I cringe whenever I am reminded how young kids are becoming sexually active these days. With that knowledge, and also knowing how many kids out there feel they can't speak to their parents about sex and may not have the guts to go to their doctor, I am glad that some schools have taken matters into their own hands - I just hope they are giving out condoms and info on STDs along with the prescription to BC.
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10-17-2007 @ 5:28PM
Ann Adams said...In CA, minors can obtain birth control (all forms) without parents' consent.
I support it in principle just as I support sex ed in the schools but I'm a little uneasy about oral contraceptives (or the patch or 3 month shot) too. There are side effects.
If the parents don't know and the child gets sick, they won't know what's wrong and she might be too frightened to tell them.
Also, the pill doesn't protect against STD. Condoms aren't perfect but they're fairly effective.
And yes, abstinence is the only sure way, but I'd prefer my child safe rather than counting on their good judgment.
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10-17-2007 @ 5:39PM
Sandyone said..."the kids who have no one at home for them are the ones who look for love in all the wrong places and think sex and love are the same thing."
Joy, I respectfully disagree. Yes, kids without love look for it in the wrong places, but this does not explain the epidemic of sexual activity going on between the kids of the "good parents". Pretty much everyone is having sex with someone. I can't believe that all these kids are looking for the love they didn't get from their folks. Sex is just something they do.
And keep in mind that the contraceptives aren't only for the kids with neglectful parents. They're for any kid who doesn't want to go through his/her parents to get them. PTA moms included.
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10-17-2007 @ 5:58PM
Joy said...I don't think "sex" is just something "kids" do. IF someone asks for contraception, I think it should be available to them. IF they are asking, it means it's needed for them. My boys were MUCH older when they had sex but IF they were going to do it and felt they couldn't come to me "because I'd have a cow," I'd want them to be able to go somewhere. Sometimes I think schools get a bad rap. Would you really rather have your child end up pregnant? I just hate it when people say "not my child". Then whose??? If you say kids are having sex then you think they should go unprotected?
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10-17-2007 @ 6:01PM
ame s said...I went on the Pill 3 years before I became sexually active, because my menstrual period would cripple me for 2 days.
I would have to stress to my 2 daughters that unplanned pregnancy is the least of their worries after they become sexually active. STDs and HIV are more of a concern for me.
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10-17-2007 @ 6:37PM
Joy said...Sandyone, it's okay to disagree. If we all agreed on everything this world would be plenty boring. But, I will stick to what I said. I've seen far to many kids go without what they need. I am such a bleeding heart too so it did hurt me. IF we are even talking about this, it must mean it's needed for some children. Maybe not yours, hopefully. I would never presume to say one thing is okay for all. What about a child who's "dad" is sexually abusing her? I hate when people say "not my child." Lucky you if it's not needed but for others, it might be. If a child is able to go to a school nurse, it might be her only option and if she gets the guts to go there...I say we need to help. Would you rather this young child have a child?? I also don't think "sex is just something that they do". Also, you folks with young kids can't really relate to this. Life is all sunny when your home with little ones but as they grow, things change. If like you say, this is an epidemic, what else can we do? I would rather have a child at least safe from having a child than leave it to the parents who aren't there anyhow. We tend to shy away from "sex" but yet we protect them from everything else. Our eyes have to be open whether we agree or not because some children need it.
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10-17-2007 @ 6:36PM
Michelle Anderson said...As we all are horrifed by the measures that sex ed now has to take at such an early age, let me add my reflection. I have two boys, and am pregnant now with the sex not know, but we are hoping for a girl. I can tell you that by middle school, I would want my daughter to know how I felt about sex and birth control and condoms and what I think is right for her. and my sons too for that matter. Though we all hope our babies will remain babies as long as possible and that they will be virgins until marraige (though that is not realistic), don't you want them to be prepared. I think that for children whose parents choose not to have this conversation early enough, or do not create that window of trust with their children, then they will need another route to turn to. The school is not trying to over ride any one here, they are trying to provide a service that will benefit your children, and if you do not want your kids to participate, as I will not, then you will need to beat them to the punch. Whether you are ready to talk to them about sex or not will not stop them from having it.
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10-17-2007 @ 9:32PM
Karen said...I also work in the schools and taught middle school last year. I've seen kids lacking in school supplies, healthy meals and adult supervision.
Kids don't NEED birth control pills. Even the kids who don't have a "loving parent" looking after them, would be better off using condoms than the pill because they would not only be preventing pregnancy, but REDUCE the risk of STDs.
Nobody NEEDS birth control pills. Therefore, it is irresponsible to prescribe medication (that has side effects) to young children without the knowledge of their parents.
And while it may be legal for children to obtain birth control (and abortions) without parental consent, it does not make it right. Additionally, even in the states where they can obtain this medication and abortions, the parents are still financially responsible for their health care if something goes wrong. How is that right?
The "they are going to do it anyway" so enable them argument is never going to fly with me. There is a difference between informing children of their options and implyng that you approve of sexual behavior by providing birth control, etc.
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10-18-2007 @ 3:06AM
SKL said...This is disgusting. First of all, have the liberals forgotten that the "pill" is a prescription drug? Kids aren't allowed to take a damn aspirin in school even with their parents' permission, unless the nurse administers it, but in the name of free sex, we must countermand parents' authority in the case of birth control medicines for 11-year-olds. Chalk up another point for home schooling.
You supporters think you are such "responsible" parents. You are going to tell your middle-school kids all about sex and why they shouldn't do it until they are older, and that you'll help them get birth control at the right time, so this "pill" policy won't be relevant to them. However, what are you really going to do if they come to you at age 11 and ask for contraceptives? Counsel them to wait, right? If not, I think you are whacked. Yet if you do counsel them to wait, they know they can nevertheless go to school and get the "pill" without your knowledge. Most of them won't have the maturity to make sure they take it correctly, use a back-up method, and also protect against STDs. They will have a false sense of security and probably begin having sex earlier than they otherwise would, with serious emotional and social consequences, possibly including pregnancy.
I recognize that SOME middle school kids are having sex. The proper response to this is to get these kids some psychological intervention before their self-esteem, academic success, and social relationships are destroyed beyond repair. Why aren't we doing this if we profess to care so much about these kids?
As for the counseling that the school says they will give, there is no way I trust them to do the job right. They don't know each individual kid. They may or may not give a damn about kids or have any realistic sense of what's best for them. Any idiot / sociopath can be a middle school counselor. (Like that guy ParentDish recently reported on, who told a prostitute how he dreamed of sex with a 12-year-old. Great, now he can administer the pill and then have "safe" sex with his students!) Moreover, young teens don't take school counselors seriously. They will sit through the session to get the pills, but it won't result in a "mature" decision. The only "mature" decision at that age would have nothing to do with the "pill."
To you parents who think it would not be OK for your kids to have sex in middle school, but that the pill should be administered for other people's kids, I say it's obvious you don't give a damn about those kids you pretend to have "bleeding hearts" for.
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10-18-2007 @ 10:06AM
LS said...I have two points here.
1. THEY ARE GIVING DRUGS TO KIDS WITHOUT PARENTS KNOWING ABOUT IT. Not just the "bad" parents. ALL parents. The Just Say No campaign has just gone down in a blaze of glory. "Just Say No To Drugs", kids, but not the ones that WE give you... So now, we can give Ritalin to those boys who just can't sit still in the classroom, too... Because the Parents are just "bad" and they just don't know their own children like the School does.
2. Someone said that it's "reached epidemic proportions, what else are we going to do?" Well, THAT'S justification for you. Here in Iowa, Meth has reached epidemic proportions. So has drinking among the middle- and high-school crowd. So, let's take the same tactic... we can't stop the epidemic, so just throw in the towel. If the government starts manufacturing Meth, at least they can control the process, and make sure it's "safe" when kids take it in school, under a teacher's supervision, of course. They should also provide free shots of Vodka at the beginning of each class for each kid who has professed to be an alcoholic - that way at least they'll be drinking somewhere where there is supervision, and they'll be "safe". After all, it's an epidemic, what are you going to do?
There are those of you who will sit there and read what I've just written and say, "phwee, that's just ridiculous. It will NEVER happen, because it's not the same thing... it's meth, it's alcohol..." it's what? Marijuana? Ritalin? Food (your kids are obese, we'll send this report home...)? Where does it stop? Because it's already begun.
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10-18-2007 @ 1:59PM
Uly said...You're all missing an important point - the parents first have to knowingly consent to their children being allowed to use the health center.
No random kid can just go in and get pills of any sort - only those whose parents have already agreed to this.
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10-18-2007 @ 10:12AM
LS said...Oh, and one more point. Does anyone realize that there is a law on the Maine books that says that it is ILLEGAL for anyone under 14 to have sex? So there's another great message that the school is sending to the kids... "We don't like that law, so we'll just help you break it. Have a pill."
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