He's started asking why--about everything

by Christina Sbarro (Subscribe to Christina Sbarro's posts) Oct 27th 2007 9:30AM

It happened all of a sudden. As quickly as a good haircut can turn bad in a matter of snips. As quickly as a perfectly hapless portable phone can fall into an unsuspecting bucket of paint (it did, really.) From one day to the next, he started asking, "Why?".

He asks about almost everything.

Sometimes, because I am a teacher and I cannot help myself, I launch into detailed answers. I tell him why the moon looks so big at the edge of the horizon, and why it looks smaller up above us in the spilled ink of the night sky. I tell him why you can turn right on red (yes, he asked) and why he cannot touch the oven. I tell him why he has to hold my hand using an escalator (I've always been afraid of getting my shoelace stuck in one. What would happen?) and why he can't actually drive the car although he would very much like to.

But then I find myself tricked into a rediculous downward spiral of answering one question after another with absolutely no purpose and no end in sight.

"Why did you turn this way instead of that way?"(Because it's the way we go home.)

"But WHY can't we go that way? We should go that way." (But we can't, because it won't take us home.)

"But why won't it take us home?" (Because the road doesn't go that way.)

"But why doesn't that road go home?"

Does this happen to you? What do you do to stop the insatiable, inevitable, never-ending WHY that is a Toddler?

Comments (10)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Jill 10-27-2007 @ 10:06AM

I had it at that age and now again at 3 1/2. I answer some of the why questions. Then I say "That's enough." To my son, at 3 1/2 I explain that I just don't want him to ask me any more questions. I explain that sometimes there is no answer, or no good answer, or I don't know the answer. Really, I want him to be curious, but to know there is a time and place for it.

Joy 10-27-2007 @ 10:35AM

I remember this so well. When I read this I smiled. Time goes so fast. *sigh* I always answered this as briefly as I could and then got like Jill (if it went on and on like the road going home) and said "that's enough why questions for now." You do want curiousity but it does get to you after a while.

Uly 10-27-2007 @ 11:48AM

"I don't know. Why do you think?"

Deb 10-27-2007 @ 4:02PM

This questioning is never-ending for me, though I get it from both my almost-4-year-old and my 2 1/2 year-old. I am terrible at stopping it, and, like you, the teacher in me always feels the need to give a "correct" answer. I sometimes can stop it by changing the subject or feigning excitement about something out the window or in the room. Anything to snap them out of the question mode. If that doesn't work, I start questioning them, and that works almost every time. "Mom, why is that man wearing that yellow coat?" "I'm not sure, why do you think he is wearing it?"

Bee 11-04-2007 @ 1:06PM

It's the teacher thing, a question must be answered or it'll sit like a salt 'n vinegar crisp on the ulcer of your soul.

I gave in to the dark side of teacher-dom, and let my answers abound. Now they've stopped asking, or have been quite clear in asking for a short answer.

David Robinson 10-27-2007 @ 10:49PM

I approve of Deb's technique of asking the child why. You can even get in earlier. "I don't want to go that way. Can you tell me why?"
"You can't drive the car. Do you know why not?"
Best of luck.
David Robinson

pbhj 10-28-2007 @ 7:22PM

>> "You can't drive the car. Do you know why not?"

J: Can I drive.
Me: No J you can't drive until your a lot older
J: I can Dad, I can.
Me: No J you can't

We're not really up to the "whys?" yet but with repeated questions, etc., eventually I just say "that's the way it is" and if he still asks and I'm bored with it. I just say "that's enough, please don't ask me again".

Of course you do realise that you can turn that other way and still get home (unless you actually live at a cul-de-sac; and then still there's always cross-country!). Perhaps that's what is confusing him.

Colleen 10-29-2007 @ 12:24PM

When my son was 3, he asked "why" two hundred and eleven times - in ONE, LONG, DAY. I know, I counted.

Heather 10-29-2007 @ 5:28PM

I am sorry to tell you it doesn't get better. Mine is 4 and still doing it. I keep telling my self it is a good thing, he is curious and that makes him smart. I just hope he does it at school because he does it with strangers on the bus too.

Cat 11-07-2007 @ 12:07PM

After the 5th or 6th Why? I say "Because I love you" He always stops after that! Maybe he's wondering how that fits into the why? question!!

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