Middle school fashion bullies

Is there any fashion bullying among boys? I used to get picked on, because I wore oxford shirts and khakis, while my friends wore plaid flannel shirts and jeans.

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Candicha, ridicule is a very small price to pay for maintaining one's individualism. The very reason this country was founded was so that people did not have to adhere to the petty standards of those they disagreed with. Therein lies the problem with uniforms in government led schools. Hey, private school...private rules. Spend your money any way you want it.Uniforms don't enforce values. Parents do...or not. You don't get to tally your parenting score until long after your children graduate anyway.

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Candicha, you are not giving your children the opportunity to experience life. One cannot make every decision for their child and expect them to grow up and arrive at adulthood with a healthy, tolerant perspective.

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Not to freak any of you out, but I'm 40 now so I've had some time to see what has happened to many of these 'girl psycho bullies' from school. Of the worst ones I remember: One died of a drug overdose (as she was an abuser of illegal drugs later in life) by the time she was 30, One is in prison for drug trafficking, One has been divorced twice and is now hustling her snobby self around as a waitress to try to make ends meet---after previously treating some of my school mate's waitress mom's as if they were gutter snipes, etc.--- when we were in school. One did so many drugs, permanent mental illness and paranoia claimed any chance of a normal life. One has been in and out of prison for embezzelment and other forms of theft. One was convicted of manslaughter for a drinking and driving accident that killed 5 members of one family. I could go on. Not a one of them has anything to hang their hat on... So, I guess I was right way back then: I always figured that they didn't have much talent or ability at anything if the only thing they could 'do right' was pick out the 'right' clothes with Mom and Dad's credit cards. I kind of felt sorry for those wicked witches in a way, because something told me even then that they were pathetic; and I was dead-on accurate. Now, as my own kids have grown, I've always seen those occasional 'snob' kids I meet or hear about through their school experiences as being pretty much 'marked' for failure. As a business person, I can assure you that even later in their lives, I'll have a hard time wanting to give kids I know were like that so much as a basic opportunity in my chosen profession. I'll always see them as a time bomb waiting to fail, and I won't want it to happen on my watch.

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You can dress 'em all in the same clothes, give 'em all the same haircut, make 'em all carry the same bookbag, dye their hair and skin all the same.... and they will STILL find reasons to pick on other kids. The Nazi conformist uniform dreamland will only give parents a false sense of security, relieve the irresponsible ones of their duties, and place yet another burden on the poor-- or better yet, taxpayer money will go for this nonsense. Kids bully other kids because adults LET them. Being physically assaulted and verbally harassed is grounds for me to have an adult arrested, but for kids it's "part of growing up." Putting them in uniforms is like putting a band-aid on a spurting artery. I wonder what it will take for the parents in this country to finally be kicked out of their complacency and ignorance.

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My daughter's both wear the popular name brand clothing...Which all I can say is thank goodness for E-Bay and garage sales! They know that is where the clothes come from and they are not embarassed or ashamed of it. They know how expensive it is to buy the clothes brand new in the stores and they would rather get three or four shirts off of E-Bay for the price of one in the store. My daughter actually found a beautiful designer homecoming dress at one of the local thrift stores and we paid all of $5.00 for it. I cannot tell you how many compliments she received that night.

Even though they wear the name brand clothes, they realize that is what they are....Just clothes. They are both friends with everyone and they are not rude or hateful to those who do not wear them.

I honestly don't think it's the clothes that make kids mean ungrateful B*****S. It's the parents' who think if they buy their kids everything they ask for and more they will turn out okay....The parents' who never stop to ask, "How was your day" without having a cell phone glued to the side of their head. The parents' who never take the time to find out who their child is...Good or Bad.

I truly believe you can spoil a child by giving them the things that they want, but love and guidance does not come in the form of a square plastic card. You also have to teach them values, morals, and just plain kindness....Which sadly too many kids nowadays are lacking.

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Sadly, this type of issue has been around for a long time and probably will be. I do believe some parents perpetuate it as well as the media. I am 39 years old and grew up in an affluent area. Yes, kids had designer clothes and there were have & have nots. What I have a problem with is parents who feel that it is the "other child's" problem when their own is a bully. The bullied kid is told to "deal with it" and the parents seem to think it's OK because their own kid is Queen Bee. Anyone see that show on MTV: Super Sweet Sixteen? These kids treat their parents and friends like garbage and get a 6 figure party in return. I actually saw an episode where the girl's mother was in on her scheme to humiliate a classmate. If my child were a bully they would have every privilage taken away. We had money, could afford all the designers, but my parents raised me with respect and decency for EVERYONE (whether you mopped the floor at McDonald's or were the CEO of a bank). I do the same for my children. When we are in a grocery store or gas station (etc)and the attendant has nametag - I tell my kids, who are 3,"Say thank you to 'Ms/Mr. so & so'(name on nametag). Most people treat those who serve as invisible. I saw it with my own friends growing up. Children need to see, from the parents, that everyone is a PERSON. Everyone likes nice things, me included. I have designer things but don't talk about them. I could afford all high-end but why pay all the time? I shop at Target too. My kids already know the value of a dollar. Yes, there is peer pressure, but you can do your best as a parent to have you children treat others with respect and dignity. If I ever did decide to buy my kids a Gucci purse one day and find out they made fun of someone who didn't have one, I would take it away. I think a lot of mothers are insecure and fall into this "competition" with their children..almost like a "do-over" of their own lives. You want to be a "have"...OK...but keep your "have" to yourself and shut your mouth about those who you deem to be "have-nots".

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Duh!! Sorry that had to be said. Of course the parents are the reason this crap goes on! I swear people never cease to amaze me. If people would stop worrying about having the best of everything, but instead spent more time with their children, teaching them values and respect than maybe this world wouldn't be such a mess right now. Growing up in the 80's in a large family with a disabled father, my mother had no choice but to work. However my parents took the time to be with us, not in cancun or extravagent trips to disney world. I really wish parents would begin seeing their faults rather than blaming the problems of todays youth on tv and video games. That's one of the problems in todays society, no one wants to be held accountable for the fact THEY are messing up.

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When my daughter found herself the newly designated, "Odd Girl Out", I purchased and read Rachel Simmons, "Odd Girl Out" to better understand the phenomenom of adolescent, female bullying. It was quite an eye-opener. You'd be surprised at the level (deapths) of manipulation and cruelty.

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greetings

i had the sad fact becasue of a family members lies i did not see my nieces for 9 years. they happen to be the sweetest girls. yes i buy them desinger clothes becasue i am their great aunt and i am making up for lose time. they are so kind and well like at their school. no they happen to be and knwon kindness and how other do not have their mother has done a great job with them and i am so proud not all girl do this to others do not group the many with the few. i know of girl like this when i was a teen and it hurts. but not all have been mean and bossy to other. i love them and they have a father and mother who wow are hte greatest parents. they have taught the meaning of kindness and the act of giving .

j

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I guess we will need to learn to sew again. This is how we handled it when I was in school.

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The middle school fashion geeks who focus less on fashion and more on personal development are often the ones who will actually be able to afford Armani when they grow up. They probably won't indulge, though. They'll be too busy cleaning up the mess of a world these so called fashion bullies have given us!

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-- A lot of mass hysteria to get kids to try to coerce their parents to purchase the latest greatest fads.

-- Monetery, CA the so called fashion industry Macy et al., blasted their advertisements towards children for good reason they need the revenue. Now Macy uses DONALD TRUMP to try to beef up sales, so not a good idea. Once you investigate where the dirty money comes from that TRUMP alleges he quote "worked" hard for.

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Kids will be fine if they wear uniforms. Kids in schools that have them are at no greater disadvantage in life than those who go to schools that don't. They can come home and put on whatever they want, and school doesn't turn into a catwalk. Kids, and the adults they will become, will always find a way to create an "us vs. them" relationship of inequality, and limiting one's clothing choices at school can't eliminate the cruelty that comes so naturally to middle-schoolers as part of that age group's social and emotional development, but by requiring school uniforms one very large and often expensive source of middle-school cruelty can be mitigated.

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Oh, please! This is nothing new. I was in middle school in the early 80's, and if you couldn't afford Calvins and Glorias and Nikes and Izods you were teased mercilessly. Where did the author grow up that this wasn't always an issue with middle school girls?

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These women, who were probably just normal or maybe unpopular in high school, are now living through their daughters. It is so sad because they are training them that only the best will do. But, when those girls go out into the real world and then not be able to afford the same clothes their mom bought them, their world comes crashing down. The go into debt to maintain what they feel is the only thing acceptable. Frankly, watching all these late 30s early 40 year old moms compete with their daughters makes me so sad for the child. These moms need to grow up themselves and let their children have something to look forward to when they are an adult.

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