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Russians ban Halloween: Cold War resumes

Categories: Education

I always knew there was something fishy about those Russians. Sure, the Cold War is "technically" over, our countries are "friends," blah-di-blah blah -- but underneath that veneer of Westernization lies the same nefarious, no-good-nik, downright Commie tactics that led to the making of Rocky IV.

Their most recent offense? Banning Halloween!

The holiday is actually very popular in Russia, and you'll see pumpkins, witches and costume parties all over the place at this time of year. However, the Russian government thinks the celebrations are based on "the cult of death, the mockery of death." Which I guess is true, but technically zombies are undead, as are vampires and witches -- oh, and they're fictional.

In any case, Halloween has been banned in schools, as a few lame (but powerful) politicians feel it is "destructive for the minds and the spiritual and moral health of pupils." Bummer.

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