Do you "sleep when the baby sleeps?"
It's mid afternoon, a rainy Sunday. The branches of green outside my window sit heavy and full with unrelenting water. There's dust on my floor and shrapnel on my kitchen counter and a little boy who has just succumbed to sleep after half an hour of protests: "Goin' nigh-nigh is hard werk, Mommy. Hard werk."I look at my desk, look at my kitchen, think about the ten piles of laundry I could do while my son naps for the next two hours. I think about the possibility of splayed light on my bedroom window, cracking a shiny new book and sinking into my covers while listening to the rain patter outside.
Sitting down in front of my computer, I make the same decision I always do: work. If I work more right now, while he sleeps, we can go to the bookstore later and I can spend tonight cleaning the sticky off the counter.
I was recently over at my friend's home, visiting with her nine-week-old baby.
"Do you sleep when your baby sleeps?" I asked her, and she shook her head no."I have too much stuff to do around here,"she explained.
Fact is: I don't know anyone who slept when their infant slept. And I don't know any Mama of a toddler who sleeps while their big baby sleeps.
How about you? What do you do when your kid is napping? Hint: if you eat chocolates and watch Young and the Restless, I am coming to hunt you down. And begging for your secret to perfect balance.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Joy 11-04-2007 @ 9:53AM
I always used to "try" and nap. As soon as I'd lay down I'd think of everything I had to do and felt guilty. Then I'd lay there and "wait" to hear the little one wake up. It always ended up that I never slept and just wasted the time. Now I do when I have the grandkids. Now I "have the time" to get things done. My days aren't so busy.
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Joy 11-04-2007 @ 9:54AM
I always used to "try" and nap. As soon as I'd lay down I'd think of everything I had to do and felt guilty. Then I'd lay there and "wait" to hear the little one wake up. It always ended up that I never slept and just wasted the time. Now I do when I have the grandkids. Now I "have the time" to get things done. My days aren't so busy.
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Ethel 11-04-2007 @ 10:01AM
I guess I need to hide. When the almost 3 and the 16 month old actually sleep at the same time I do eat chocolate and sometimes catch "A Baby Story" on TLC or some rerun Mad TV.... Or just take time to eat an uninterrupted lunch. BUT! That only happens once a month at most, if even that. Mostly because I want to be quiet for a bit, and its the only time I can eat chocolate without having to share with kids that probably shouldn't have it anyway. And most of that time is spent listening covertly for telltale early waking to rush one or the other out before waking the brother, so its not as restful as you'd think.
Before the youngest was born I totally slept when his older brother slept, I was so tired anyway since sleeping for longer then 3 hours meant a lot of pain when I was getting so big. After he was born, I was too frazzled to try to sleep during the day since the baby only slept for 20-40 minutes at a time and it takes me that long to fall asleep.
What kills me is that the age at which you need the sleep the most to catch up is the age when they are the least predictable and least likely to sleep long enough during naps to satisfy. When they're old enough to have a pretty good schedule you're also getting enough sleep at night to not need a nap
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Anji 11-04-2007 @ 10:48AM
I um, nap. Or curl up in bed playing on my DS. Or doss around on the internet for an hour or two drinking more tea than is healthy.
Sorry.
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Tamyu 11-04-2007 @ 10:50AM
Actually, yes. I almost always slept when my son slept. Instead of feeling guilty about all the stuff I needed to do, I`d do it when he was awake (with him in one arm, in a carrier thing, or playing on a mat when he was old enough to...)
I found I was able to get so much MORE done by feeling awake and alive instead of stumbling through it when he was napping.
He`s 3 now, and sometimes I STILL lay down with him and take a nap. Makes the evening so much better.
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d 11-04-2007 @ 11:18AM
I sleep once in awhile and when I do I usually bring my baby to bed with me as I know she will nap longer while sleeping in the big bed with a cozy mommy beside her. I dont' do often as there are dishes to be done, laundr to fold, websites to look at. Also I find I often can't nap during the day, once I am up, that is it.
I am more likely to go and lay in bed and snooze watching tv from 8-10pm!!
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courtney 11-04-2007 @ 11:31AM
Sleep what huh?!? My 2&4 year old rarely nap these days and if they do it's not at the same time and when the twins sleep I try to spend time with the boys. Then at night it's a mad rush to get as much done as possible before I pass out, because if I sit down I fall asleep-literally sitting up.
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Judy 11-04-2007 @ 11:37AM
I definitely slept when my first was a baby, partly because cuddling with him was the only way to get him to nap. When he was able to fall asleep on his own on a regular schedule, it would be about half and half.
Now that I'm carrying #2, I DEFINITELY nap while he naps, at least 2 days out of 3. When #2 arrives, I will definitely attempt to nap during nap time. We'll see how successful I am. I think "Nap while the baby naps" is one of the best pieces of advice to a new parent, along with "Don't worry about the housework".
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Bee 11-04-2007 @ 1:03PM
Luckly - as a bloke - I can't see stuff that needs to be done. So in my SAHD days I found crashing out so easy.
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Pavlina 11-04-2007 @ 1:10PM
I always slept when mine were young. Really, how could I not? I am one of those "old" mommies though, that makes it easier. I was too tired and I couldn't wait for the kids to go down so I could nap!
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Anita 11-04-2007 @ 1:34PM
I always slept when my first was a toddler and I was pregnant with my second. Talk about tired! My first was an easy baby and I could get a lot done while she was awake. But with my second it was impossible to get them on a schedule together for at least a year. Then I did not need the nap since they both slept all night so when they napped, I would first go on a chocolate binge and then treadmill to work it off. If they slept longer than an hour, I would then, and only then, get housework done. Me time came first.
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Jenn 11-04-2007 @ 2:30PM
Well, when you have to go back to work full time when your baby is 8 weeks old, it is a moot point, isn't it?
But even when I was at home during the first couple of months of her life, I couldn't nap during the day except very occasionally. Usually I had to spend her nap time pumping, which is not particularly conducive to sleep!
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CLM 11-04-2007 @ 2:58PM
Once a week or so it all catches up with me and I nap for about an hour in the afternoon. I'm a clean as I go type, so the house is generally moderately tidy. I justify the nap by starting a load of laundry so I've "done something" and am perfectly justified in resting for a bit.
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rachel 11-04-2007 @ 4:03PM
If they both nap at the same time, sometimes I do too. On Days were I really need a nap we do a family nap with all 3 of us in my bed. Before my littlest was born, my big boy and I used to nap together maybe once a week. Sometimes sleep is more important than dishes.
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Jill 11-04-2007 @ 4:04PM
I have a whopping twenty five minutes after I get Little Guy tucked in before Bigger Guy gets home from school. I try to lie down, but I often spend my time online, starting laundry, on the phone, and other time sucking ways.
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Eva 11-04-2007 @ 6:08PM
I rarely nap. Only when I'm fighting a cold or something.
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Melissa 11-05-2007 @ 8:45AM
I don't sleep, but I will sometimes just sit and watch some TV. Like you, Kristin, I'm a solo mom, and now I'm a SAHM. I find I have much less down town now than when I worked (because, let's face it, I zoned out at work a LOT, plus had the drive in and back, and lunch break. . .)
I do sometimes let the laundry go or don't clear off the counters when I should, but it's ok. It's much better that my kids have a mom who's at least tried to recharge than for me to be at my wit's end all the time. It's a trade off, I guess.
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M4Mommy 11-05-2007 @ 9:52AM
My daughter didnt nap well when she was an infant. She wanted to be awake and see as much as she could. So I spent many a day sitting on the couch nursing her and watching George Clooney play doctor on ER. Might be why she wants to be a doctor when she grows up now. :)
We had a brief time when she was a young toddler that she would nap in the afternoon. While she was napping I would TiVo through my program(AMC) I would do chores etc with her helping me when she was awake. Her nap time was my down time. But not a nap time for me. I wanted to watch my soap opera un interrrupted
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Jenna 11-05-2007 @ 10:22AM
Early in this pregnancy, I slept when my toddler slept. Now late in the third trimester and on bed rest, I try to do the same. Mainly because I'm getting no sleep at night.
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Jessica 11-05-2007 @ 10:51AM
When my daughter was an infant, hell yes, I slept, or at least rested, when she napped. Dishes and laundry could wait. I knew I would be a lot more effective, and a lot happier of a mom, if I got some rest.
That all went out the window when I returned to work.
I'm a teacher and there are many a summer day when my now toddler naps and I find myself crashed on the couch. I do feel more guilty about it now.
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