Split families and the holidays

Filed under: Babies, Relatives, Activities: Babies, Places To Go, Siblings

With whom do you spend your holidays? Do you rotate them between your and your spouse's families? Do you hot one set for Thanksgiving and one for Christmas/Hanukkah? What about when divorce is involved?

With our families, the holidays become a little complicated. I know we're not alone. My husband's parents are divorced. I am an only child so I can't get my sibling to cover for me. To top it off we live in New York City while they live in California, Indiana and Kentucky, respectively.

For a while things were a little easier to navigate. My parents and his mother lived nearby. His mother's family celebrated Christmas Eve while mine did Christmas Day. No one really bothered with Thanksgiving. My husband's brother lived near his father so there was coverage on that end.

Then some more shuffling occurred. His mom moved to California and his dad moved to Indiana--nowhere near my parents in Kentucky (even though the states border each other, for you geographically-disinclined folks--uh, like me). Then, to top it all off, we had a baby.

As a result, we are not interested in hauling our infant all over America via car or plane or otherwise. We always went to them no matter what. I don't know why, and to me that seems rather unfair given the costs and time involved, but we always did.

Now we don't feel like the madness at the airport and driving in bad weather are activities suited to bringing along a baby--even though he is a good sport if anything. One would think any of the parents would come visit us, but nothing has been mentioned.

His mom may do a stint here over Thanksgiving, which has become a more favored holiday for me anyway as it centers around food and family. Other than that who knows what the holidays will bring. My husband's father remarried so that tacks on another side of family to contend with we didn't have before.

Having a large, blended family, or extended (whatever you want to call it) family is wonderful, and I love it, but it does make the question of who will go where for what that much more challenging to answer.

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.