Are gift cards an act of thoughtlessness?

For the last few years, I have begged my mother-in-law to just get me gift cards. She sees me as the daughter she never had, and is determined to do all the girly things she missed with me. Trouble is that I don't care for all that, and I end up every year opening presents that leave me dumbfounded. My husband told me to start choosing something and tell her what it is and where to get it, so I did. When I asked for a gorgeous set of blood-red cut glass wine goblets from Target...I received a giant eye makeup set. When I asked for a particular DVD I wanted to see...I was given a boudoir chair.

I would fall to my knees and weep for joy if she would just give me gift cards.

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I end up with a lot of gift cards because I can't ever think of anything I want for Christmas. And apparently you can't tell people not to worry about getting you anything. I like gadgets, but I've found that if I ask for a certain gadget, I get the oh so lame "traded all my cool features for a coat of pink paint" gadget.

Misty - gift cards probably wouldn't change the types of gifts you get. I always end up with Sephora gift cards, even though I can count the number of times I've worn makeup on one hand. Some people are just bound and determined to see you how they think you should be. The only good thing is that you could trade them with someone.

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I hate them and I won't give them voluntarily. The thing at my kids' school now is to collect money from parents and give a gift card to the teacher...which feels impersonal so we all give them something else also which turns out to be just what we used to give teachers, plus cash. I think they're greedy and impersonal. Give to charity. Ask for a magazine you already get. Give money for the kids college funds. Do something personal and with meaning.

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I HATE them. I like the gift giving part of Christmas. Even if I hate the gift, it's the thought that someone actually got something for me so I smile and say thank you. Gift cards to me are a lazy way of doing something with no thought whatsoever.

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In some cases gift cards are thoughtful.

In some cases they are a cop out.

It is not all black and white. Shades of grey people, shades of grey... ;)


You can make a gift card more thoughtful than just a card in an envelope too:

For the cinema lover movie rental gift card in a basket of popcorn, milk duds, snowcaps, sodas etc.

A basket of golf balls and a voucher for the driving range for a golfer.

A gift card for a place that sells sewing items in a small sewing notions box for a seamstress.

A gift card for a craft place packaged with a few crafty items. (Or knitting, or ceramics...)

A gift certificate for the theatre that does plays and musicals (so the person can choose what show and when they want to go).

etc etc. I have more of a problem with a card from any old store just thrown in an envelope. But I have received some equally as thoughtless "real" presents (any old thing just bought to have something for me...)

If someone puts a little thought into it and tries to think of something they think you'd like (even if they are off a little) it is always nicer than someone just throwing some money or a generic card in your direction.

Saying that, I don't have a huge problem even with generic gift cards. At least I get something I need or can use. I've received some awful stuff in the same kind of vein as Misty above...

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I love receiving gift cards, but I understand that most people (especially my mother) see them as a cop-out. I'm sorry, but I'd rather that you be able to get exactly what you want, then to laugh behind my back because I gave something that you don't like.

And personally, I hate the guilt of feeling like I have to wear the ugly sweater that you bought me because you completely misunderstood my sense of style. My poor mother still insists on buying clothing for me for christmas, and her best friend, who is pretty much my second mother, does the same. For some reason, second mother gets it right every single time, and mom gets it wrong, even though they shop together. And I have my mom complaining because I hang on to 10 year old sweaters that second mom gave me, and happen to (oops) lose or ruin or "outgrow" whatever mom buys me. It makes me feel bad, and it makes her feel bad, when thoughtfully buying me a gift certificate from some store that she thinks I might like would make both of us feel good.

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I do both. I always buy a gift but often am not sure the recipient will really like it. I buy for at least 30 people so it is really impossible for me to survey them all in advance for what they really want - especially since they would usually say they don't want anything, because telling someone what you want feels greedy. So in addition to a small gift or two that I only hope they will like, I buy them a gift card to a place where I know they will shop. The key is to be sure this is about what they like, not what I think they should like. Hardware store for B1, Computer geek store B2, pet store for S1, book store for B3 and S2, sharper image for BIL, craft store for SIL, etc. I don't do gift cards for kids and the only person who gets "just" a gift card is my secretary.

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hello all. as far as gift cards go...i actually prefer receiving them than anything else. my family doesn't know me as well as they think they do and every year i end up with a bag full of gifts from people that gets tossed in a closet or given away. i especially hate it when people try buying me clothes. i am extremely overweight(getting ready to have gastric bypass type overweight) and want to cry everytime someone buys me something in extra large. come on now. its not like your 1 size off, are you trying to ruin my day? and the sad thing is its close family that does it. getting a gift card insures i will be getting something i really want.

as far as giving them, it depends. if i feel i know the person well enough, i get an actual gift. like i would never get my mom, sister or best friend a gift card. if its someone close enough, like an aunt or uncle, who have pretty much everything, a gift card to a favorite restuarant and a night of free babysitting i think is a good option. as aprilw above said, a gift card doesn't have to be impersonal. she gave pleny of great personal ideas.so i guess it depends. if your christmas shopping consists of going to target and buying a hundred gift cards and nothing else, then yes, its not very thoughtful.but it can be if gone about the right way.

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Gift cards are definitely a conflicted issue. Although if you happen to know the perfect store with a gift card for the perfect person I'm not sure they're a bad thing. I got one for Christmas one year from my best friend and it included a note this is for the crockpot you always wanted. Seemed like the perfect gift then.

However, if you're just being lazy because you refuse to take the time to find something that someone would actually like. Well then I think they are an awful gift.

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Personally, I love to get gift cards. It's the gift of shopping! Since the budget is tight, I don't get to buy a lot of things for myself and if I get gift cards, it's like permission to go spend $ on myself, without breaking the bank! Plus, the after-Christmas sales are always phenomenal. I have sometimes requested that people give me gift cards, but I rarely ever get them.

As for giving them, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Sometimes, I know the person would love to shop at that particular store. Other times, I don't know what that person would like at ALL. I'm out of time and creativity and annoyed that I have so many people to buy for who I barely know what they're interested in and have seen them maybe once in the last year (if I'm lucky). I don't believe in buying presents just because you have to buy a present. I'd far rather have a gift card than a meaningless gift that someone picked up off an endcap at Walmart.

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it depends on the person....i would not give my mom and dad one...but my son who is 15 likes certain things so i give him 2 from his favorite stores so he can pick out his own things...i then buy gifts with them as well...but they are not distateful or lazy....if my son wants a high def tv...im clueless so what is a gift card to a store that has those....i would rather him have what he wants then my choice....plus i had a mother in law that gave me walmart sales crap for christmas...i hate walmart and i hate cheap sales crap bought 2 days berfore christmas...talk about thoughtless....she was buying cheap not thinking of me....so miss manners can do the proverbial kiss off....

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I'm in the "shades of grey" category, and when I do give a gift card, it's packaged, like April suggested.

As for the "wish list"... I felt guilty for a couple of years for making them, even though people always ask me for them. Then I got smart, and started a "wish list" that I stored in my word processor. As I came across things that I wanted throughout the year, I'd add them to the list. When I come across some extra money during the year, I have a list of things to choose from for myself, and by Christmas, the list is still there, so I just send it to whomever asks. Most of the stuff on there is inexpensive - like books or movies, a top or two. Of course, I also have a sewing machine and a digital camera on there...

Hey, a girl can hope, can't she? After all it *is* a "wish list"!

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I love gift cards because then I can get what I would really like, not what someone else thinks I should like. Regardless of what Miss Manners thinks, most people buy gifts that they themselves would like, not gifts that the person they are shopping for particularly wants or likes. Yes, in theory it is all about thinking about the person you are shopping for and their tastes, likes and dislikes, and so forth. The truth of the matter is that a lot of people waste a lot of money on stuff that gets thrown in the back of the closet, regifted or returned for cash or an exchange. Personally, I would rather get no gift at all than a gift I don't like because then I feel quilty that the person wasted their money on me.

I try to give people whatever they tell me they want, even gift cards. If they won't tell me what they want, then I often go with a gift card from a store they like so they can get exactly what they want. To me giving someone a gift is about making a person happy. They will be happy with what they want, not my idea of what they should want. If Miss Manners doesn't like that, then to bad.

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I LOVE gift cards. But as another poster said, I think just getting cards from Wal-Mart or Target or whatnot is thoughtless....knowing your giftee well enough to get them a card some place they will actually enjoy is thoughtful!
I don't do gift cards for kids though...children are too easy to shop for, and are too eager to let you know what they want, to resort to gift cards. And so far I've done great, my nieces & friends' kids always look forward to my presents because "Aunt Jenni gives the best stuff!"

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I'm kind of torn on the whole gift card idea. Personally I love getting them because it gives me an excuse to get out of the house and go shopping, which doesn't happen often. A lot of time for Christmas my husband and I will get a gift card to a restaurant. So in essence, whoever gave us the gift card gives us a date night. But for as much as I love getting them, I feel guilty for giving them. What I've started doing is making homemade goodies like fudge or chocolate dipped pretzels to go along with the gift card. That way I'm giving that person something that did take some time and effort along with the money to get something they may really need. My husband and I are the oldest and the only ones that are married. The rest of our brothers and sisters are in college, so for now the gift card exchange works well.

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I'm going with the general consensus that gift cards are a good thing. I hate the annual gift dump -- lots of "nice things" that I'll never use or wear and go straight to the Goodwill drop after the holiday. What a waste. Or the things that you are obligated to keep because they come from somebody that you see often. There is too much "stuff" in our lives. I would rather have a gift certificate or a donation made in my name, anything other than random junk. Gifts are over rated.

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I disagree with Miss Manners. With all due respect, she is wrong on the subject of gift cards. I come from a large family and we have a gift card exchange each year. We all agree in advance that the ONLY shopping we will do is for the gift card and for a holiday card [for our goofy card contest]. The gift card takes all the pressure out of shopping and we all can focus on the true meaning of the holiday. Limited shopping means that we can spend time with each other. We can make all the special dishes, treats, crafts and really decorate for the holidays. I would not trade our gift card exchange for "Proper presents" EVER. I hate shopping and would much rather spend time with my family.

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They are perfect for teens. My dd needs to try on clothes, she can;'t just shop off the rack. She will find that different styles for the same brand don't fit in the same size. It saves having to wait for a week after Christmas to take everything back.

My own mother doesn't know what I like , and we do lists. She seems to ignore the list and buy what she thinks you should have. Usually a highly religious somtimes offensive book. Sometimes a pink frilly sweater. I don't wear pink or frills and never have. I would love giftcards. We have decided that we are only doing gifts for the kids this year. Partly because of $$ but also because I am just tired of the junk she does buy filling up my house because I don't need it and won't wear it. Plus she never ever gets the size right. My dd is 100lbs and a size 1-2, she always buys her size 13-16! A friend of hers tried to tell me it was because size 16 use to be what is now a 1. ???? Maybe in kids clothes but not in adults.

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In general, I don't like gift cards, but they do serve their purpose. If I'm getting a gift for someone I don't know very well, a gift card is usually the best bet, as long as it's for a store they shop at or can be used in many places. That way I don't have to worry about getting them something they don't like. But I wouldn't give one to someone I'm close to, unless I knew that's what they wanted. There was only one time I was actually happy to get a gift card, and it was because it was for a store I love, but never shop at because I feel like there are better uses for my money. But because I got the gift card, I could feel guilt-free about shopping there, because I wouldn't have it in the back of my head that I should save my money for something more sensible. However, for years my grandmother would give gift cards as christmas presents, and every year, even though I dropped numerous hints that I'd prefer other stores, she would give me Old Navy. I would never, ever shop at Old Navy of my own volition.

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