Mom doesn't have to tell Dad

Filed under: Just For Dads, Adoption, Divorce & Custody, Activities: Babies, Sex

Here's an interesting case from the UK. A nineteen-year-old girl got pregnant after a one-night stand and decided to put the baby up for adoption without even letting the father know she was pregnant. She also decided not to tell her family about the child. Local authorities, however, took the case to court to force her to tell both her parents and the baby's father. Initially, a county court ruled that she had to tell her family and the child's father, but the Court of Appeal overruled that decision.

I can totally understand and agree with not having to tell her parents -- she's an adult living on her own, after all -- but I wonder about the father. On the one hand, the court seems to be saying that the father doesn't even have the right to know the baby exists, but were she to decide to keep the baby, the father could be on the hook for support until the child is an adult.

Don't get me wrong -- if a guy fathers a child, then he should indeed be responsible for helping to raise the child. I'm not sure, however, about being able to keep a child's existence from the father. Certainly, if the mother plans to put the child up for adoption anyway, wouldn't it be worthwhile to see if the biological father is interesting in caring for the baby?

Men have no rights when it comes to deciding whether to keep the child or put it up for adoption and now, in the UK, apparently, they don't even have the right find out about a kid. It seems like guys are left out in the cold until it comes time to pony up the cash. I'm not saying this is wrong -- I'm just saying I don't understand it. I'm hoping that someone can explain the logic behind this. Do you agree with this? What is the reasoning behind this? What am I missing?

Mind you, I'll reiterate what I've said before -- if a guy doesn't want to be a father, it's simple enough to wear a condom or, better yet, keep it in his pants.

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.