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Kid's materialism linked to self-esteem
Filed under: Just For Moms, Big Kids, Teens, Places To Go, Media, Day Care & Education, Decor
According to new research, adolescent children who are overly materialistic, coveting every new gadget that comes out and begging for the latest designer clothes, are often trying to compensate for low self-esteem. University of Minnesota Professor Deborah Roedder says that children between the ages of 12 and 13 are particularly prone to desiring the things they think will make them feel better about themselves and raise their status among peers. "While peers and marketing can certainly influence teens, materialism is directly connected to self-esteem," she says.
There may be something to that, but I think some children learn to be materialistic well before they hit puberty. The child whose parents think it is important to acquire status symbols will likely grow up feeling that way, too. I know a mother who runs out and buys her three young children the latest and greatest everything as soon as it is available. Her daughter not only brags to other kids about her possessions, she refuses to disclose where they were purchased. At the age of six, it seems as if she recognizes that these things elevate her above the other kids and she intends to keep it that way. Where do you suppose she learned that?
There may be something to that, but I think some children learn to be materialistic well before they hit puberty. The child whose parents think it is important to acquire status symbols will likely grow up feeling that way, too. I know a mother who runs out and buys her three young children the latest and greatest everything as soon as it is available. Her daughter not only brags to other kids about her possessions, she refuses to disclose where they were purchased. At the age of six, it seems as if she recognizes that these things elevate her above the other kids and she intends to keep it that way. Where do you suppose she learned that?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
12-01-2007 @ 1:47PM
Joy said...She sounds a lot like Nellie Oleson to me. She got it from her Mother. I can't stand behavior like this.
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12-01-2007 @ 2:04PM
Amanda said...WOW! you just described my SIL to a 'T'! I'm with you Joy, this behavior is soooooo unattractive.
I love buying things for my kids and I love to dress them in the cutest clothes I can for them, however, PRICE MATTERS! and I refuse to spend more on my kids clothes than I do on my own. Plus, we take good care of our things (EVERYTHING) and make them last. that is definitely something my kids will learn from me.
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12-01-2007 @ 5:07PM
Clarissa said...My youngest nephews (my brother's son) birthday was Nov 19. He turned 8. ONE of his presents from his mother was a psp and 2 VERY violent games. His dad was NOT impressed, none of us were. My nephew kept bragging about how much the psp cost...$199!!! For an 8 year old! Perposterous if you ask me!
He kept asking my daughter..don't you wish you had one...my daughter kept saying no that she has a game boy advanced and that was all she needed...he told her that the game boy advanced sucked because it was cheap. Now I paid $80 for the GBA last year for my daughters birthday, she got it and a used game from Game Stop those were THE only things she got and she was thrilled! She has taken excellant care of it. It doesn't get thrown around and is still like brand new. This goes to show the differance in rearing a child. My nephew's mother buys him anything and everything he wants, irregardless if it is right for him or not. He has a huge sence of self entitlement.
Last christmas I didn't get him anything..because what do you get for a kid that already has everything and finds $10 dollar gifts crappy. Anyhow I saw him 2 days after Christmas and he looked at me and said ..you didn't get me anything for christmas and you should have...I promptly told him...no I didn't HAVE to buy him anything and that he shouldn't expect things from me.
This year I took him shopping with me, I decided to have him pick something out for his birthday, I dreaded it, but I had him for the weekend because it was my brother's weekend to have him and my brother had to work. Anyhow, he drug me through walmarts toy section for near 20 minutes pointing out things that he wanted for his birthday..everything was far outside my price range of $10. I kept trying to lead him to the less expensive stuff but it was useless. I finally had to put my foot down and tell him I would not be spending more that $10 on a gift. He finally picked out a giant cars coloring book, and then wanted the $20 crayons...I told him the $2 ones were fine. The whole time my daughter keeps whispering to me....could he get anymore spoiled?
Here is a very stark example. My husband I did some christmas shopping yesterday. We got our daughter a few things but the one thing she wanted the most was an mp3 player. We got her one because of how well she has taken care of her GBA. We paid $42 for it. We also got a little case for it for her. We put the case in a little box and wrapped it. This morning I brought the box out of the room and placed it on the tree. She was sitting there and her eyes lit up....she thinks she knows what's in it. I told her that that was it...that was all she was getting for christmas. She just sat there beaming. I asked her if she was dissapointed that she was only getting one thing this year...her responce brought me to tears. She said "no i'm not disappointed because I have the best gift of all the gifts in the world"..I said oh what's that and she looked at me and said..."My family". She's 12 and to hear those words from a kid her age now a days is very uncommon.
I guess we havn't done such a bad job after all.
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12-02-2007 @ 10:42AM
Shannon said...ugh, I know someone that's 8 year old girl has her own laptop, razor cell phone, mp3 player, tv/dvd player, gameboy advance sp, dvd player in the car,goes to every tween concert,limited too clothes, ect, ect...she CAN be sweet when she wants to, but brags at every turn about what she has and is very into saying "you can be my friend, but you can't be friends with such and such"
it's sad, I mean, it must be nice to get whatever you want, but I think it's a little excessive. I've never seen her have to earn any of it. It's just her mother's status symbol, like her new car.
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12-03-2007 @ 3:45PM
Anita said...My 10 year old nephew has an x-box and TV in his room, multiple games that go with it, an iPod, lots of iPod accessories, only clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch, his own cell phone, a motorized scooter meant for kids 16 years and above, etc. He can also can tell you the price of every thing he owns, plus all the furniture and appliances in his house. He loves to come over and tell us how much smaller our house is, how much worse our computer is, and how boring it is at our house. His parents made him this way because it is exactly how they act too. I honestly don't think he has self-esteem is low, it's much too high for his own good.
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