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Changing the world for our little girls
Filed under: Teens
When the ultrasound technician asked if I wanted to know the sex of my unborn baby, I held my breath. And then let it out in a gush of giddy relief when she looked at me and smile: "It's a boy."It's not that I wouldn't have desperately loved a little baby girl, not at all. It's that I think I would die from the fear I'd have for my little girl, growing up in the 2010's. When I was a little girl, I worried about my flat chest, my acne, my gangly legs and big nose. Now, little girls have to worry about that as well as cyber bullying and images rocketing at them from every conceivable digital medium: TV, iPhones, the Internet. Role models for little girls are stick-then celebutantes with sex tapes and cocaine noses. Young women with size 2 bodies are being called fat. It's messed up.
It's not like boys don't have their own unique set of worries, I know. But it's rare (never?) that you see images of young men in their bathing suits on gossip sights, being taunted for their bad hair or jiggly midsections.
I've often wondered what Moms can do to help their daughters understand that their bodies are strong, powerful, miraculous in their abilities. This site has a list of great books recommended for girls struggling with body image. Does anyone else have any tips on resources for young girls? Considering the constant barrage of plastic surgery, top 10 Hot Lists, and condescending gossip columns, I think a proactive approach might help, even if only a little.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
12-05-2007 @ 9:18AM
Sandyone said...My daughters' role models are certainly not lipo-suctioned, air-brushed beautiful people.
They've got me, with whom they spend a majority of their time. They've got my friends, who come in all shapes, sizes and philosophies. They've got some tv shows, which are discussed.
Keep the crap away from the kids and the kids away from the crap. The crap includes spending time, looking in the mirror and commenting on my looks. I'm a round pregnant lady, greyed prematurely (recently colored it and it looks fabulous!) and I'm hardly a fashionista. We regularly discuss the value of a dollar, buy regular stuff at thriftshops and comment on how that makes it possible for us to splurge on special items.
Still, I have heard my daughter comment on how fat her thighs are. When I heard that, I explained that that's one of the biggest muscles in our bodies and it's muscle, not fat. She's strong and healthy. We discuss being fat as something to be avoided because it's *not healthy* and makes our bodies work too hard.
It's about staying on top of them and listening to what they're saying and teaching them what *YOU* (the parent) want them to know and learn. They will learn plenty that is wrong and/or we disagree with. They won't grow up to be little clones of ourselves, but we can influence them in the most important aspects. For me, the whole body image thing is tied to God (everything is). God made us. He made us to be as strong and healthy as we can be. Our bodies are gifts from Him and we should use them to honor Him.
So far, so good. I'll let you know when the teen years hit, but we seem to be ahead of the girls you're talking about in this post.
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12-05-2007 @ 9:14AM
Jennifer said...As a parent of a girl and a boy I try not to treat them any differently. If my daughter sees ME worry about all these things for her what message does that send?
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12-05-2007 @ 10:53AM
Kim said...My daughter is only 7 months old but I've been thinking about this too. She's enormous! And my mother has already suggested I'm feeding her too much.
After I had my son I was terrified of having a girl. I was never a girly-girl, preferring the hot wheels my brothers gave me to dolls. I put on makeup about once a year. I've never had a pedicure (maybe in January...). Fortunately, I have lots of friends who will help us along. Takes a village....
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12-06-2007 @ 2:40PM
jk said...the golden key to a positive body image for girls is sports and staying active.
when they see what their body can do, they begin to value it for its strength and beauty no matter what size and shape it is.
the trick is to stay out of teams where coaches push the kids to lose weight to perform.
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12-05-2007 @ 2:50PM
SKL said...I am part-owner of an all-woman business and co-founder of a charity that focuses on supporting women and children, in addition to being active in both corporate and charitable endeavors. Much of this goes on in front of my kids and they will be involved at an early age. They will see that women and girls have many important things to think about other than body image. Hopefully their meaningful activities will be fulfilling enough that they will not question whether their looks should impact their self-worth.
What I they will never see is me obsessing about body image, because I that has never been a priority for me. My goal is to be as healthy and energetic as I can be, and my actions toward that goal have the side effect of making my body look halfway decent for my age. I don't use any "beauty" type products other than zit preventers. One of my daughters is skinny and the other is chunky, but just I focus on making sure their diets are as healthy as can be, as I believe God made each of them perfectly. My family and friends are all sizes, shapes, and colors and none of that affects how I feel or talk about them. I have no doubt that my daughters will pick up on all of this, and the attitudes I model will be the most influential ones. As for the body image promoted by the media, I have my own attitudes about the media too, including very little regard for the priorities exhibited there. My mom was that way, and I never had any feeling that I should look like anyone on TV or in a movie. If anything, I felt sorry for people who focused on looks, as I felt they must be quite shallow to focus on something so unimportant.
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12-06-2007 @ 9:58AM
Nancy Toby said...It strikes me as quite ironic that this is posted adjacent to these two posts:
Are you a hot mama?
Maxim lists hottest pregnant woman
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