I miss sleep. Sleep used to be my best friend, always there for me when I needed it, always just around the corner waiting for me.

Then of course I had a baby. All the things they tell you about sleep--basically its disappearance--ring true loud and clear. That business about "sleeping when the baby sleeps" is a good theory but not one that holds much water. If I'd slept when my baby slept in the beginning I wouldn't have been able to freak out over him because I was so afraid he'd stop breathing. If I slept now when my baby sleeps I'd never see what he really looks like--when he's awake he is on the move at lightning speed.

I do try to sleep whenever I can. When he goes to bed at night, between seven and eight, I follow him around nine. This means no late night television or long talks about the future with my husband--we do all that in the morning. When the grandparents arrive, inevitably we turn the baby over to them for an hour and try to take a nap in the other room.

The problem with getting a little sleep is that it's worse than getting none at all. You get a taste of what you're missing and then you really start to feel it. For example, right now, it's the morning and I'm exhausted. I should've had a seamless eight hours or so but had family in town all weekend, crazy weather to deal with and a kid that woke up for no good reason at 2:30 AM.

Then the alarm went off at 5:00 so one of us could go run. It's exhausting! Monday morning, when I wished I'd been sleeping all weekend and now I have a full work week ahead of me with no relaxation in sight.

They're not kidding with this parenthood business when they say you'll be exhausted all the time. It's true. It's worth it, and I wouldn't trade it for the world or go back to the way things were before our son joined us for anything, but I sure am tired.

Thank goodness for Starbuck's venti iced chai lattes with soy.