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Objects in nose are closer than they appear

Categories: Toddlers, Preschoolers

Two weeks ago, I was getting Nate ready for a jaunt to daycare and stalling. Getting a preschooler and a baby dressed in snowsuits and into a car with no power locks gets frustrating in a hurry. I gave Nate some fruit and TV action, while I nursed Lucy and waited for backup. (AKA my mom)

"Mum, I got somessing in my nose." It's booger city around here with head cold after head cold, so I grabbed a tissue with my free hand and impatiently squeezed his nose. Both our eyes widened in horror as we heard it. Felt it. POP!

"Holy $%&* Nate! Did you stick a pomegranate seed up your nose?!"

"Uh-huh... Baaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Holy crap. What to do? Call 911? No. Yes. Omigod! All I could remember is that Simpsons' episode where Homer shoves a crayon up his nose into his brain. Brain! Oh dear.

The 911 operator told me I'd be waiting a long time in Emergency. Forget it. I calmed down a bit. He'd stopped crying. Ish. The Telehealth nurse assured me it was not in his brain. She told me I had to try and get him to blow it out or head to emerg. Have you ever tried getting an almost-three-year-old (who has just suffered a strange nose injury, no less) to blow his nose on command? Impossible. Not to mention he kept lying out of fear, "There's nossing in my nose mommy." I wanted to believe him, but I could see it way up in there!

I fretted. I begged my son to blow. He would not let me near his nose. His nose started to leak fluid, which I read on BabyCenter.com to be the first sign of infection. Of course, as the laws of motherhood would have it, I had tickets to see Dirty Dancing the Musical that night -- my first big night out since baby. I called my husband at work and bawled about the fact that the children were trying to send me to an early grave.

My husband rode his bike home with all his might, on his lunch hour. He pleaded with Nate to blow and when he wouldn't, he brought up the pepper shaker. When Nate refused to sniff, Jan blew pepper into his eyes. Great, I thought as Nate started sobbing again, now we have to deal with burning eyes, too. Jan swiftly took Nate into the bathroom to wash his eyes out. They came back holding the offending fruit. "He's learned his lesson," my husband said triumphantly, "He's never going to put anything up his nose again, are you Nate?"

"Yes I am..." Oh boy. What's the worst thing your kid ever stuck up his or her nose? Any other orifices I should worry about?

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