Jaimie Etkin: The Devil Wore Manolos
Having babies out of wedlock: the new celeb parenting trend?
Filed under: Just For Moms, Just For Dads, Activities: Babies, Celeb Kids, Celeb Parents
Pop Sugar has a poll up this week asking us if we'd have a child out of wedlock. The topic in question is based on the recent news that both Jamie Lynn Spears and British singer Lily Allen are planning to have kids--gasp!--without being married.
In the not so distant past footballer Tom Brady and one-time love Bridget Moynahan decided not to tie the knot; she gave birth to their son right after they broke up. Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams lived together, bought a brownstone together (the ultimate for we Brooklynites in commitment) had a baby together, and then broke up. And let's not even get started on Brad and Angie. They have four kids between them, hope for more and are not interested in tying the knot until laws are changed allowing anyone who wants to get married to do so.
Does America love or hate the fact that celebs--or anyone, for that matter--are having kids without being married? well, not that Pop Sugar has all the answers, but you'll have to vote to hear what others on the site think. What do you think?
I have to say I'm a modern gal and that I think a child in the world is a beautiful thing not dependent on having the traditional mom and dad married with children scenario. There are plenty of good parents out there, celebrity and otherwise, who are not married or who are single parents.
I am married to my baby daddy so I can't really speculate on what it's like to not be married to the father of my child or what it's like to be a single parent, but it seems to me that so long as a child is loved by whomever is involved in the child's life that's what matters most.
Would it be nice if they were married? Perhaps. But just because they get married doesn't mean they'll STAY married, and having a child between them is no guarantee the union will last either. Again, from speculation only, it seems like divorce might be harder on everyone than just keeping things how they are.
I have witnessed many a divorce and all I can say is that it's tough on the parents and even tougher on the kids.
Pic of Lily Allen by law-keven.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
2-07-2008 @ 2:33PM
Desiree said...Bastard child? I have a daughter. I am not married. I do not want to be married. Does that mean I am a bas mother? Does that mean that she will not grow up to be a wonderful sweet smart little girl?
My mom did not marry my birth father, which I am glad she didnt. He turned out to be a horrible person. Instead, she waited until she found the right guy. Does that mean
that I was raised improperly? You know, before you start pointing fingers, you should make sure you're hands are clean, and know what you're talking about.
Reply
2-20-2008 @ 1:51PM
Paul said...Bastardry is the way to go!!! Basically you let a guy have unprotected sex with you, get you pregnant, then leave you "holding the bag." I mean both financially and emotionally. Yeah you may get the kid, but the guy gets to get his "rocks off" inside you and has no financial responsibility or commitment. In fact, he is free to start a relationship with another woman, get married, and have kids with his wife--kids he will actually give a damn about.
One last thought. A kid deserves a mom and dad who love each other and YES are married and committed to each other. It takes two make a baby and a child deserves the right to have both parents in the picture. So many kids born out of wedlock go on to grow up and have kids out of wedlock, often on welfare (but admittedly not always) its just a vicious cycle. Lets face it life is tough enough when you're born into an "ideal" situation. Where did morals and traditional family values ever go? I think if you look down in a porcelain bowl in the bathroom you will find thats where they have went in this country, unfortunately.
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12-21-2007 @ 12:00PM
crystal said...As a single parent myself, I have found that my daughter will grow up just fine without her, ahem, father (we just call him the sperm donor) around. I was protected with birth control and still managed to concieve. He knows about her and has seen her a few times but refuses to do any more than that. My family is a very loving and supportive family and everybody just loves my little girl to pieces. I do want to get married at some point but if I had married her father, it would have been a terrible situation.
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12-21-2007 @ 12:36PM
ninainindia said...I don't think having baby is a Hollywood trend, I know a lot of people around me that have multiple children and have been together for a long time (up tp 25 years) without being married.
A marriage license is not what is important. The important thin when having children together is wanting to be commited to each other. Deciding to have children together is the biggest commitment you can make, a piece of paper saying you are committed does not make the commitment any bigger.
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12-21-2007 @ 2:32PM
Heather said...I'm shocked at the amount of comments I've been reading on the internet lately about unwed mothers.
My significant other & I have been together for 7 years & we have a 5 year old. We have no plans on getting married. To us, we are & we don't need a piece of paper to prove it.
I don't understand why people are still upset with women having kids without being married.
Single parents do a wonderful job. And their job is twice as hard.
My kid has 2 parents who love her very much. And if it's one or two or three or more parents, really, that's all that should matter.
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12-22-2007 @ 6:40AM
Anji said...I already did and we're just fine.
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12-23-2007 @ 6:28PM
momma bear said...Get married first. World morals are declining. Children out of wedlock is no longer a shame to many. It should be! The shame is not being responsible enough to give the child two parents. Stop being so selfish and wait to find the right person. Old fashioned? I think not.
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12-23-2007 @ 5:37PM
Niki said...My partner and I have been together 9 years, and have a 7 year old. We aren't married, and never plan on being so. We are no less commited to each other just because we don't have that piece of paper. We're not religious, and we don't really care what other people think of us. And..Gasp!!!...our child still has 2 parents. What a novel concept..that a child can have 2 parents that are commited to each other and the child..without having a piece of paper that says so.
1-04-2008 @ 2:05PM
naimodo said...American morals are quickly fading away, and bastard children is a major problem, and dont anyone get mad because thats what its called. I see 12 year olds getting pregnant, the dad's running off bc their 13, schools handing out condoms to children, and I see a terribel generation growing up. Marriage is an old, but very important standard. Its necessary for our country to continue onward. Nowadays a girl with be 17, with children from multiple fathers, and the kids are damned to live in povetry bc mommy couldnt say "hey, lets wait a week to see if we actually can stay together" before having sex with someone. And whenever a 16 idiot gets pregnant, the government (thats us who pays taxes) gets to pay for everything the child needs, while the mother drives a new car and I struggle jsut to make ends meet. Feel free to reply in a haphazard stupid way to the truth I said posted everyone.
1-04-2008 @ 10:51PM
tiffany said...Bastard Children?! I am a mom and my kids are three years apart i was not married with either of them, i was 17 when i got prego with my first.....I WAS A SINGLE MOM!!! My daughter got all she needed in life and more and me and my fiance have a one year old together me personally, i think mistakes happen, that is no reason to rush into a marriage.....as for you women who are happily married with children i pray to god you never get divorced and see what it's like to have to raise your children alone....this is 2008, it's not 1950 anymore....and if your really religious, god forgives and he expects us to make mistakes, remember that's why he died for us!!!!!!!!!! So unless you can put yourself in this situation and actually know how scary it is to be prego and alone then don't hate on us...You should count your blessings!!!
1-06-2008 @ 6:15AM
Anji said...So nice to see my life being judged by a stranger. Clearly you are the expert on marriage and parenting, and seeing as my ex and I are obviously so unable to be decent parents, should we give our son up for adoption to a nice married couple?
1-04-2008 @ 4:05PM
momma bear said...Sorry, but I still think that you should be married before you have children and then work very, very hard to stay married.
Not getting married is the easy way out. La di da, we'll just all tromp through the fields and all will be well.
Until somebody gets cranky and walks away. There is no commitment. And if unmarried couples reproduce and are "committed" to each other, why NOT get married? What is stopping you?
I think that is the grown up, mature and wise thing to do as a parent. And if you are a parent, you'd better be married, have a will and a decent job. Otherwise, you should not have children. Be responsible so that others do not have to fufill your responsibilities.
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1-04-2008 @ 11:27PM
Melissa said...Why do you call it "a piece of paper"? If that's all you think it is, wait until one of you gets sick and you can't sign for the other's treatment. If two people can make a financial commitment of buying property together and get "a piece of paper" called a deed, and can have kids together and get that "piece of paper" called a birth certificate, and sign up for benefits with that "piece of paper" known as a social security card, why can't they get "a piece of paper" called a marriage certificate? Don't let society tell you it's just a piece of paper and use that to rationalize to yourself when you want marriage and he/she doesn't. Get some LEGAL protection for yourselves and your children. You're just playing house without it.
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1-04-2008 @ 11:39PM
tiffany said...Maybe some people are ready to get married right away.....me and my fiance have been together for two years......we are engaged and plan to get married...and by the way, my fiance makes enough money that i can stay home and raise my kids with out any help from the state.....and when my daughter was a baby i worked three jobs i took responsibility, but as for marriage, it's a big step, and i think it's a scary one, so when i am ready we will be married....i am only 24 years old and he is only 25, i think we have some time yet....
1-05-2008 @ 12:49AM
nad said...well society is becoming more washed out as the time goes by. It is becoming more accepted to have premarital sex, but by all means if you feel the need I can not pass judgement. Although I do feel that if you are resposible enough to have sex, than you are taking all the responsibilities that what you are doing is haflway to producing a child. If you can't accept making a child, then you shoudn't be having sex.
I don't think that this J. Lynn's parents were involved in any of her upbringing, if so maybe she wouldn't have turned out this way. First Brit, and now the younger one. I pity them all because they should have had a little more common sense to foresee this.
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1-06-2008 @ 3:24PM
May said...Jennifer Jordan, this is 2008 the word wedlock went out with Queen Vic! A woman no longer gets this tag as a punishment for having the balls to bring a child into the world without the legality of being tied to a man.
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1-06-2008 @ 3:25PM
J Jordan said...Who said anything about punishment? I say more power to 'em!!!!
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