Nadine, check out www.CanadaHelps.org -- the premise is fantastic: you pay for the donation and the recipient chooses the charity. Great for kids because they can give to something they love (dogs, animal shelters, sports, etc.). I think a donation like that is the perfect thing for kids with too much plastic crap under the tree.

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yes, they are bad...you are giving what you want them to receive not what they want...yes, those organizations can help but give on your own not on behalf of someone who wants something else...we give to organizations throughout the year to bless other peoples lives but i wouldnt dream of having my children open christmas gifts and have it be a donation...nor would i do that for my neices or nephews unless asked by the family...

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In the poll I chose the "they're a great idea option," but I feel that I need to expand on my selection.

Charity donations are fabulous gifts for other adults or older teens. People who you don't really know what to get, people who you'd probably end up giving a gift card. For kids they are a crummy gift, there are better ways to help your children become socially conscious than disappointing them at Christmas.

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I think charity gifts are a good idea as long as you know that the gift-receiver will appreciate it or if they chose the charity themselves. Another big-family Christmas exchange idea is to have the adults draw names and buy one gift (establish a maximum price) for each child. After all, the kids will get plenty of presents from their own parents. Would that be doable for your family?

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I have done this, but given a small item representing the charity along with an explanation of the donation. Like a little angel made by individuals who benefit from the charity. I think it is a bit much to expect other people's kids to appreciate the "donation on my behalf in lieu of gift" idea. Kids may get it if it is separately discussed with them in advance, and you can do this with your own kids, but you can't presume that other parents have done it with theirs. Another possibility is to talk to the kids on Thanksgiving and offer them a choice of charities and tell them that's what you're doing for their Christmas present. Then at least they won't be disappointed when they open the card at Christmas. But I would still try to include a little token gift, e.g., a nice bookmark reflecting the sentiment of your charitable gift.

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I think it can work if you also give the child a small item that helps them relate to or learn about the country/charity to which you have given. One of the things I like about Heifer International is that you can pick specific items to donate in another person's name. You get a card with an explanation of why the gift is appropriate for that region and how it will be used. You could also include a small book with the history of the country or its people. I know as a child I would have loved something like that.

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I think its a thoughtful gift. I am a parent an if someone donated on my child's behalf I would be pleased. It presents an opportunity to disucss those with less than us and how we can truely give. I think its wonderful to have gifts under the tree, but at some point it gets to be too much. Kids who have too much rarely seem to even appreciate it. Its never to early to teach a child about generosity.

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I hate Christmas and am all for cutting down on the junk that gets distributed at Christmastime. And certainly this is a worthier cause than buying more said junk. On the other hand, maybe this isn't such a good idea. If you want to give money to charity, do it. If you want to give a gift to someone, do that. But in essence you're compelling this other person to give up their gift to others, and that's not really fair. It's not really a gift, after all: you're deciding on the charity, and you're not giving the other party a say in the matter at all.

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I don't think it's an issue of making the giver look cheap, since most people know charity gifts actually cost MORE. But I think it IS an issue of forcing a child to, in essence, donate his or her own gift to charity. What you're saying to the recipient is, "Here! I don't think YOU should have this, I think you should give it to someone else. So I did it for you! Merry Christmas!" Even if this IS what you want to do, I think you need to be aware that you're doing it, and that the children don't feel the same warm feeling adults feel about giving to the needy. Maybe the children SHOULD feel that way, but that's a separate issue and up to their own parents, and giving them a charity gift isn't going to teach it to them.

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I'm thinking more about this, because I really love those "buy a family a flock of chickens" type catalogs, and I agree with you that some kids get too much. What about an extended-family agreement to have a gift exchange where instead of giving gifts to each other, everyone looks through the charity catalog and is given a "budget" to choose something? Each person can choose their own item, or they can combine with others to choose something bigger.

Or, give your own children the charity gifts, after talking it over beforehand to get them excited about it.

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I've given the World Vision gifts, but never to other people kids.

My kids and I pick some of those out each year. They love looking through the pictures and choosing things to help others. We even put up an extra stocking last year to put those gifts for others less fortunate in.

We also give them to their grandparents along with another small gift.

I use it as something to teach my own kids, but that is not all I give them. If I was going to give those to other people's kids I would give them another small gift for themselves along with it. You're basically giving them a card saying that you gave their gift away to someone else (albeit a very needy someone else).

Kid's do get too much, but I figure if I am participating in a gift giving event then I'm going to have to participate. If you don't like it then bring that up and tell people that (I have before). Say "kids get too many presents, how can we cut back on this?". I know my own kids are going to get tons from other people so they just get some small presents in their stockings, and a couple presents each under the tree to open after breakfast.

Suggest to your family that you all give smaller gifts, or fewer, or give to charity or something. Giving kids only "in lieu of" charity gifts isn't really a great idea and they'll likely just be disgruntled - and some of their parents may even mutter behind the scenes.

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I would love to get one of these. I made the suggestion to my parents one year ( devout Christians so the answer surprised me) but they said no we want to get your a real present. I was a little upset and angry because I ahd thought it might be a good idea for them too. If that is what I want I don't see what thier problem is. Buying a family in another country a goat so they can eat, have an income ( make butter ect) would be a gift I would cherish.

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