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Parenting a child with ADHD

Categories: Development, Education

Recently, I watched an episode of E True Hollywood Story about Ty Pennington, from Extreme Home Makeover. He discussed his struggles growing up and how he began finding his way in life after he was diagnosed and treated for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD. One of the stories he told was that his mother was studying to become a psychologist, and she went to his school and asked the principal to recommend to her the worst behaved child in the school for a behavioral study. The principal asked her if she really wanted to know the worst behaved child in the school, because it ended up being her son.

I had to laugh at this story because it hit very close to home. My son was diagnosed with ADHD in the third grade. While that was the point of his official diagnosis, it was very obvious long before that time. Even though ADHD is the new way of dealing with bad behavior in children, especially in boys, I do believe that if your child truly suffers from ADHD, a parent knows.

I made the decision not to medicate my son and experimented with counseling and behavioral therapy/modification. I am not totally against medication when it is absolutely necessary, but I do feel like it is overused as a "quick fix" in a lot of cases. As with every other issue that involves my son (at least the negative ones), this was a focus in my custody trial. What a lot of people do not understand is that children with ADHD are not disrespectful, bad kids. These kids are not lazy and unwilling to try in school. These are kids who are overwhelmed and frustrated and unable to cope with the demands put on them in a school environment. My son scored very high on all his assessment tests, but this was never reflected in his school grades. As a parent, I am constantly frustrated by the lack of understanding shown by people even now, when ADHD gets so much media attention.

It's a constant struggle. I have to keep up with school work daily. I spend a lot of time emailing and talking to teachers. Luckily, modern technology helps because I can pull up his grades on the school website on a regular basis. I am able to intervene immediately if there are signs of a problem. There are times when I look back and wonder if I should have agreed to put him on Ritalin, but that never felt right for our situation. There are pros and cons to both treatment plans, and a parent can only choose what they feel is best for their child's individual situation.

If you have a child you suspect has ADHD or is already diagnosed, how do you cope? Are you finding that schools, teachers, and society in general are becoming more tolerant and cooperative?

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