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ParentDish Size Six: Reasons to have kids

by Roger Sinasohn (Subscribe to Roger Sinasohn's posts)
Dec 31st 2007 2:34PM

4Comments

Why would anyone in their right mind willingly submit themselves to eighteen (or more!) years of dealing with those loud, filthy, expensive, rebellious critters known as children? Surely, there must be some reason why people put up with their messes, the expenses, and the massive amount of care they require? Well, actually, there are reasons. Here are six of them:

  • Free Labor -- this was always my dad's justification for having five kids. Sure, it takes a while, but eventually, they can become pretty darn useful. I know I learned ten-key-touch almost before I could walk and spent much of my life in my dad's accounting office adding up long rows and columns of numbers. That's in addition, of course, to the chores around the house.

  • Someone to blame -- If you are habitually late (as I am) or forgetful (as I am), having kids can cover for you an awful lot. If you're late, it's the kid's fault. Forget to do something? You were busy dealing with the kids. This doesn't work so well as they get older, but for the first dozen years or so, it's great.

  • Candy -- If you like candy, but don't usually buy it, kids are a great source. They get tons for halloween (they'll never miss one or two coffee crisps!), not to mention Christmas, birthdays, Easter, and so on. There's always leftovers and, if you train them right, they won't be too into it and you can pig out after they've forgotten it all.

  • Tax Deduction -- This was my dad's other big reason for having kids -- not surprising given that he was a CPA. I don't know the details (I have a CPA of my own for that) but they can make a noticeable difference on your taxes. The best scenario, of course, is to give birth on New Year's Eve -- that way, you get a full year's deduction for only one day of parenthood.

  • Messiness -- Kids are the perfect excuse not to obsess over having a less-than-spotless home. Your house doesn't look like the ones in the magazines? Well, heck, that's because those people don't have kids! You do, so naturally your house perpetually looks like a Chuck E. Cheese.

  • Smiles, Hugs, and Kisses -- Okay, sometimes Sara just smiles in a way that makes the sun seem like a burned-out lightbulb. And Jared is great at hugging -- he just sort of melts into your arms and becomes part of you. And there's nothing like the feeling of their cheeks as I gently kiss them goodnight at bedtime.


So, I guess it's all worth it, eh?

Tags: candy, child labor, ChildLabor, parents, taxes, working

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