2008: Year of the positive resolution!

Filed under: Babies, In The News, Alcohol & Drugs

The other day, I think it was in a magazine, I read something about resolutions that stuck with me. They tend to be negative--lose weight, stop smoking, lay off the cupcakes and booze, that kind of thing. Rarely do they direct us to love, enjoy or celebrate. So this year, instead of focusing on the negative, I'm going to set a resolution to just enjoy life. And it's going to be harder than all the other resolutions I've made combined.

I still have a bit of baby weight to go. The easy thing to do would be to resolve to lose those last few pounds and get back to my perfect pre-baby weight. That would be fun and a good challenge, but honestly I am pretty ok with my body at this point. So I'm a few pounds heavier--it's not exactly the end of the world. Instead of worrying about those pounds I'm going to try to focus on enjoying running and being outdoors, even when it's super cold.

My diet is another area that's easily picked apart, so to speak. I could easily say, oh let's just go no-carb and lose all the weight quickly and get our smokin' selves back in the arena. Starving myself is now out of the question. It's stupid and ridiculous and dangerous. A few carbs ain't gonna kill me. I am going to have to lay of the French toast bagels and venti iced chais from Starbucks though!

Instead of resolving to get more sleep and then feeling guilty when I do--or like I haven't really slept at all because I am so far behind--I'm going to resolve to get out more and to have more fun. And I'm going to take my baby with me. Every night, unless I'm writing, it seems we're in the routine of watching a Netflix and ordering out for Chinese. I love doing that and enjoy the chilling out aspect of the whole thing, but I do live in New York City--I should enjoy it.

Plus it's time to expose the little one to more things. He's nine months old now and ready to take on the world. We've always taken him to restaurants and on road trips where he's fared favorably, but now I think he's ready for the next level. That means taking him on a real vacation--say to this year's Jazz Fest in New Orleans (my favorite!). It means taking him to more museums and not just the park.

It also means now that we have a car we can explore all the places it was to difficult to get to with a baby in tow. We go one and on about all the things we would do if we had a car, well--now we've got one. Time to put our (gas) money where our collective mouth is.

Also, and this one is a totally personal positive resolution, I am going to finish my novel, even if it kills me! I made a similar positive resolution not so long ago to write every day, which I essentially do now for ParentDish, so it is possible to set creative, challenging, realistic goals and to meet them. There's nothing that spurs me on like a positive experience like that one.

Now that I have a child I realize I used to live in a world where the glass was half empty. I thought I was a half full kind of girl, but I wasn't. I always worried about the future and the possibility of failure. Now that I am a mother I see that there really is no such thing as failure--it's just stopping at a different place en route to wherever we want our lives to take us.

Having a child i see all the joy and beauty around me. People might say that's cheesy, but if you have a kid you probably know what I mean. It makes all the bad stuff seem tiny and not so bad after all. It makes life seem more manageable and fun if you let it.

The hard part is letting it. I could let my overtaxed life of living in a tiny apartment with two dogs, a cat, a new baby and my husband along with all our stuff, the fact that everything in NYC costs more, my new crazy job that I still love endlessly and everything else take over my world. I could, but I don't. Instead I see all the possibilities of what I could be doing, and the good in what I am doing.

So this year why not make a positive resolution--to enjoy yourself, to just be happy, to just hang out, to just live and let live? Why not take on that challenge and give the part where you annoy yourself with your smoking habit and hate yourself because you're a few pounds heavier than you'd like a rest? Trust me--that crap will always be there. It's like an evil relative that won't relocate to Florida.

Instead give being happy--and not feeling guilty about it--a try. You might like it! I know I will.

Of course just you all wait until swimsuit season rolls around. Then we'll see how my Starbuck's habit has me feeling about my two piece!

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.