Natalie Thomas: Are You a Rachael or a Martha?
A message from the neglected pet
Filed under: Just For Moms
Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!Ohmigod what IS that on your pants? Ohhhh, such a delectable smell! Do you mind if I stuff my snout, like, all over your legs for a minute? MMmmmmmmmm, you must have a dog, too. A dog MADE OF SAUSAGE!
Sorry! Sorry! I'll back off. See how I can sit? Good dog! Good dog! Say, you don't have a frisbee, do you? Like maybe in your back pocket? No? Okay, no, that's cool. That's . . . well, I just thought you would, having that sausagey smell and all.
Okay, no, gotcha. Anyway, I just wanted to check in with a few of you who seem concerned that I'm being, like, abused? Because I have to say, it sort of freaked me out when one lady said I should be taken to the vet and killed because my owner sometimes tells me to stop chewing her shoes? Hey, I don't want to die yet! Look at my face! I'm full of piss and vinegar! Well, at first it was just vinegar, and then-
OMG WTF WAS THAT HOLY GOD BARK BARK BARK BARK
Oh, sorry! Sorry! Squirrels, you know? Jeez, I hate those things.
Anyway! You should probably know that I have not one, not two, but three ridiculously comfortable dog beds, and I get to hang around inside the house practically all day long because of what my owners call the "Sad Cow Face" I do at the back door (oh my god you should see it! It's so totally pitiful! I am SO RAD at this face!), and I am allowed to lick the human's plates after meals (would you like to come for dinner? My owner might even wash the dishes for you!), and I go to the dog park and on trips to the Oregon coast where I can run on the beach and I get back scratches every day even though it makes me shed all the hell over the wood floors.
Basically my life is pretty good, and I don't even mind it when the Small Loud Pink Thing puts toys on me.
MONCH MONCH MONCH MONCH MONCH MONCH MONCH MONCH
Sorry, I had to chew my butt there for a minute. As I was saying! Please don't feel so sorry for me, or more specifically please don't take me out back and shoot me! Or any other pets who are owned by people who love them but sometimes have to put their attention towards those Small Loud Pink Things! We're actually okay! We promise! (DON'T KILL US!)
Now: seriously. WHAT is on your pants????
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Non Expert Advice for Stock Market Predictions
Stock Market Expert Ric Edelman talks about ridiculous stock market predictions by the media and other non experts.
-
The Role of Professional Advice in Quitting Cigarettes
This video by TV360 offers you expert advice on quitting cigarettes and how professional advice can help you accomplish it.
-
How to Work Out Outdoors
Celebrity trainer Jennifer Cohen gives us an outdoor workout we can use anywhere.
-
Matt and Tamsen Dating Tips
Better.TV - Matt and Tamsen gives various dating and relationship tips.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 3 of 3)
1-06-2008 @ 5:53PM
kenjy2321 said...Hey! so nice discussion , BUT it is NEW YEAR now,You love to try something new special? http://interracialsingleonline.com you will be surprised there...
Reply
1-06-2008 @ 7:42PM
TammyP said...Sheeesh..
Some people clearly need to remove 'poles from asses'.
It was a funny blog about how she doesn't have the time or patience to SPOIL her pet. Spoil being the KEY word here. I don't recall reading anything that would have warranted an emergency call to the SPCA...and yet some of you are ready and willing to try and crucify Linda.
Y'all need to get over yer damn selves..
It's a dog. And a clearly happy, healthy, well fed dog..who may not be spoiled but is obviously loved.
I am totally blown away by some of these comments. I can't believe that mature adults would be so rude to a new blogger and THEN justify their ignorance with lame unfounded accusations of cruelty.
What a welcoming committee! Y'all rock. Now THAT was sarcasm..
Reply
1-07-2008 @ 10:16AM
Diane said...Oh linda, Uh I mean Dog..I love you and your sense of humor. Keep doing what you do, your "real" readers love reading you.
Reply
1-07-2008 @ 11:12AM
just a lurker said...I remember the brouhaha over Kristen's tongue-in-cheek post about her own dog and "things to think of when choosing a family dog" and the ensuing freakout (can't find the link but it was a couple of months back, but really, OMG, people lost their minds). I kind of cringed when I saw the first post from Linda about her dog-- while I loved it, I knew that people would get all bent out of shape. Some people need to just chill the hell out. Dogs are dogs, I think part of loving them is being annoyed by them. Same with cats. And birds. ::dislodges a nibbling cockatiel from her ear:: For what it's worth, Linda, I've enjoyed all your posts since you came to this site and I REALLY LIKED the posts about your dog. She is ever so cute!
Reply