Neglecting one of the ones you love

Why is it that all of the people who keep bitching about how "not funny" this post missed the fact that Linda was APOLOGIZING to Dog for having been impatient and short with him, for yelling at him for things that she knows she once would have welcomed? I mean, wasn't that the point of this? There's nothing she wrote that said, "boy, I'm proud of being short-tempered with my dog" - rather, the whole point was that she recognizes that the dog has unfortunately gotten short shrift since Riley came along.

Criticize me all you want, those of you who are outraged by this, but I've had a very similar experience with my own dog since my 3.5 year old daughter was born. I do not always ignore her, I am not always irritable with her, I do not PLAN to shove her aside, and I don't love her any less. When I am irritable with her, I feel guilty about it. And in fact, I make a concerted effort to spend extra time paying attention to her when I can. But sadly, I don't have unlimited time, and I don't have unlimited patience, and I do the best I can. We love the dog. But, being human, we're impatient with her sometimes, and those "sometimes" happen more often now that we have a child (as well as a dog and 2 cats), and not just pets. I'm not recommending this as the way anyone else should be. It's just the way I've been.

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I read your post on your personal blog. How nice of you to write a post insulting the readers and the writers at Parent Dish. That's a great way to get started on a new site. I happen to like the writers here, why would you encourage your readers to come here and insult people?

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How nice of you to put the same comment on both posts.

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You know, I've felt bad about this whole damn thing I "got involved" in and it doesn't feel good. I wasn't really "mad" at Linda but more at the way "you all" were *laughing and joking* about it while describing how you treat your pets. Yes, only pets, not children. I realize that. I guess I just love both. My children are grown and gone now and I have “new” pets to mother ( they do die and then you start over). I felt like maybe, we weren’t a part of an “inside joke” while you all were. It doesn’t feel good to be on the outside of something that everyone else seems to know. IF you were going to write such an article, maybe it would have been better to have explained how much you love Dog instead of the one you did. After all, we don’t know you yet, nor you us. To then be attacked by people we don’t even know and have never even heard of. OUCH! Nicole, you have only made three comments on here and the first one was Jan 5. This is what I mean, these people “came with you” and pretty much put the screws to us because we don’t know you or your style and all those other folks, pretty much the same thing. Brand new here. Maybe they have read things from time to time but their comments pretty much only started “after” you came.

When I read all the other comments at your OTHER blog, I really felt bad. Talk about negative. I wasn’t commenting on the “licking” but more about the way the pets must feel to suddenly be out in the cold with your emotions. That’s all I meant. I was online when that post came and didn’t even respond at first and only after all those people came and said such nasty “sounding” things about their pets, did I say anything and all I said was “I feel sorry for your pets” and then I get attacked. WTF??? Isn’t that what this site is about? If you choose to go to another site and bad mouth all of us I guess that’s your purgative but what would make you do that? I wasn’t really even commenting on what you said, just all the other people who took such glee about not loving their pets anymore (or treating them differently). That’s what I found so sad. Do I love my pets more than my children? Of course not but I don’t see why you have to love one more than the other. I love a certain pair of jeans, my coffee in the morning, my flower garden…I love a lot of “things” I have enough love in my heart to love almost everything. I don’t have to pick one over the other. Had one of my pets ever hurt my children or anyone else, it wouldn’t even be a choice to what I’d do. Luckily, that never happened because I just have a big enough heart to love all (well, almost all, I‘m not fond of snakes but that‘s another post!!) living things.

Good luck to you Linda. I’m really not sure why you came here to work if you feel about us like the way you stated in that other blog. Thank you Kara for pointing it out. I feel a little better now, knowing it’s not just me but she pretty much grouped us all together and said “them over there.” It’s really to bad you couldn’t have taken LS’s point to get to know us a little bit. I think you were very unfair to us who come here all the time and contribute to trying to help each other. These kinds of rantings don’t go on all the time. We sometimes even joke, YES, joke around with each other but you didn’t take the time for a second, to get to know us. Lora was the only one brave enough to see how we may have taken what she said the wrong way after re-reading her own comment.

Wow, just wow!

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HOLY CRAP....you people freaking out about this post are the craziest bunch of loons around! This dog obviously has a good, normal, cared-for life. What a bunch of whackos! It's totally normal that once a couple has a baby, the dog gets less attention and indulgence than before. The same is usually true of the first born human kid. Those that posted to say how they think they are so much better in child and pet rearing need to get over themselves, self-righteous jerks.
Honestly, what is the matter with you? Spend some time worrying about animals who are ACTUALLY being abused, go volunteer some time caring for those that are rescued instead of lecturing people on the internet.

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Julie, Linda wrote the post, and we commented on it. I know you are defending your friend, but we are entitled to our opinion. I, for one, am offended that a new writer to Parent Dish would come here and write a post that didn't get a 100% positive reception, go back to her personal blog and insult the writers and readers here to pump herself up. I read here a lot and hardly ever comment but I had to speak up this time. Why even associate yourself with all these crazies? It seems like you prefer the following at your own blog, that's all I'm saying. The topic should have died with the first post, yet it continues, hurling new insults with each one.

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Wow, I'm not sure it's worth whatever this blog pays to be writing here. Who needs the grief?

Gah, there are so many real issues to be upset about (like the Bush administration, for example) and here some of you are picking on a nice person who wouldn't hurt a fly. Obviously you don't know her, and if you don't like her writing style take your hysteria elsewhere.

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Julie, and others, who seem to think that us longtime PD readers/responders are treating Linda horribly, I'll say it again:

You know, when I read Linda's first post, I thought, "gee, I felt that way, too, when my son first came. I wonder if she'd like to know some of the ways I dealt with it." And as I read through some of the other posts, I was appalled at some comments (euthanasia when a pet becomes a "nuisance") and saddened by others (they're just in my way now, I just push them out of the way).

As a dog owner, and trainer by hobby (I am by no means a professional), I felt that I had something to share.

We - the responders - are not the ones who labled Linda's behavior toward her dog "neglect", she did (even if it *was* tongue-in-cheek, there was a lot of honesty in that post, too). We are not the ones who said that she was tired of Dog - she did. I just went back and re-read that original post. I didn't read any sarcasm in there. Heartfelt regret that Dog doesn't get as much attention as before? Absolutely. A promise that things will get better? Again, yes. That is what I was responding to, by sharing some of the things that helped me help my dog.

(if you know sarcasm, recognise it now) Forgive me if I wasn't bitter tongued, sarcastic, or biting in my response, and if my solution was too tenderhearted toward "just" a dog. Forgive me if I felt it was necessary to speak out for those who can't speak for themselves - the pets that get pushed aside and don't understand why.

It's not fair of those of you who are 'new' to this board to attack those of us who are 'new' to Linda's writing. She is the 'newbie' here, as are you. Sit back, take a breath, and read some of our other responses to other posts. Perhaps you will see that mostly, our first response with a post like this is to step up and offer ways to help. Even if the post is written with sarcasm.

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Linda, the only difference between you and the haters is your admirable honesty. We all slip. Those who really care to improve are those strong enough to admit it, not sweep it under the rug. Kudos.

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I don't think she's actually neglecting her dog in the ASPCA sense of the word. She's just feeling a little overwhelmed and wishes there were more hours in the day.

When she posts kid stories, either in her blog here or her other blog or on the old site at clubmom, the response has generally been positive. Even when she's said things that people disagreed with, comment debate has been respectful. Then she gets this sort of reaction on a post which is tongue-in-cheek and certainly not indicative of any abuse going on. What, she's not allowed to have feelings and voice them? She's not allowed to be upset when she gets some seriously hateful comments?

I guess my thought is, why do people need to be so STRIDENT when they have about 1/1millionth of the facts? When they don't live with Linda or her family or her pets and don't know how the pet ACTUALLY gets treated? When the pet in question probably is still spoiled and is very much loved?

With this, as with any other blog, we are seeing snippets of someone's life, not the complete picture. I've always seen the point of blogging as building a network of friends, not an excuse to go around being mean and hurting people's feelings just because you have relative anonymity to do so.

This is not the first thread on a blog I've seen degenerate into name-calling and one-upsmanship. I'm not saying that everyone should agree or should not voice their opinion, just that we should maintain a level of respect for one another. We all screw up, we all do things we're not proud of, we all are HUMAN. And if we can't admit those failings somewhere and have that admission spark some empathy rather than flaming, what's the point?

For everyone who seems to be upset that Linda posted a little rant in her other blog....go back and really read these comments and then imagine that they are on your website. Could you honestly say you wouldn't be upset and either leave a lengthy comment back or vent on your alternate blog?

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Well. Not the only difference.

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i realize it's hard to find it funny when these folks are all responding to YOU PERSONALLY RAWR GNASH TEETH, but dang it's funny to sit on the sidelines and read the rabid reactions here. hee.

in conclusion: HOW DARE YOU write a funny post! i'm morally offended.

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Haha! The crazies came out on this one!

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Wow. Just wow.

You know what? People have all kinds of conflicting emotions about all sorts of "controversial" topics. If they say something you disagree with, does that make them a horrible person? Well, you might think so. But trying to shame someone for expressing concerns that a LOT of people have when they add children to the mix of an already bustling home, possibly in a humorous way to deflect what are probably genuine feelings of guilt? What does that make you?

Seriously.

You don't like what you're reading? Upper right hand corner of your screen, usually orange and shaped like an X. Go right ahead and click it.

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Good grief, stop the bitching and whining. For those of you so offended, click "close" and go on with your day. You act as though being a part of this website is an exclusive club....who cares who is "newbie" and who is a "veteran", so what? It's a silly little blog. As someone who just occasionally drops in to amuse myself for a few moments before going on with my life, I'd suggest you take a deep breath and get on with your day.

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I think most of us can identify. We all have more than enough "mommy guilt" to go around. Having a dog is just one more kid to get neurotic about.

Just be glad you don't have a pug. They are absolutely intolerant of being snubbed and will hound you - pun intended - until you notice them. But I guess all dogs are like that. Pugs just seem to look so much more pitiful.

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I suck. I am going to spend more time with my forlorned furry friends.

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