Who gets to pick the name?
Categories: Pregnancy & birth
From when I was a kid, I have the distinct memory of us kids making suggestions for names, putting them in a hat, and my parents picking one out for the new baby. I'm not sure even I'm that brave, however, since the names the kids have come up with have included Rudenin (Jared) and Butterfly (Sara).I know my older brother was named for the friend that got my parents together and got his middle name from my paternal grandfather. The older of my two sisters was named for my mom's sister and the younger for my dad's younger sister. We're not really sure where Stanley Oliver (my younger brother) came from, but my mom swore it had nothing to do with Laurel and Hardy; that might have been the name that came out of the hat.
When Rachel was pregnant with Jared, she said that if it was a boy, I could name it. I thought the big argument was going to be over the middle name -- I planned to name him Herman Israel, after my father -- but she nixed the Herman part too. (She had a good reason -- she was named after her grandmothers and didn't want our kid to grow up with constant comments like "You're just like your grandfather" or even worse, "Why can't you be more like your grandfather?")
So we moved Herman to the middle position and I started my search for another name. After a lot of thought and consideration, I came up with Redwood -- to me, it symbolized a number of things: Northern California and our beliefs and lifestyle, the outdoors that I love so much, and, standing so tall and straight as they do, honesty and character. As you might have guessed, I didn't get him name him Redwood.
Rachel always wanted a daughter named Sara Diane (after her mother), so when Sara showed up all female and such, there was no question about the name. Now that a third one is on the way, Rachel says I get to pick the name. I don't feel right about using Redwood this time, so I'm not sure what to pick. Truth be told, I'm not even sure where to begin.
So far, I've been going with Blürp, a suggestion made by Rachel's brother, or Haggis, but I'm not sure either of those will pass muster. Neither would be good for a girl, either. So, I'm back to the drawing board. I definitely want something with meaning and, ideally, one that is not overly common.
How did you pick your kids' names? Did you let your older kids choose the younger kids' names? Do the names you chose have special meanings? Did you name them after someone, perhaps a family member or a famous person? And most importantly, what should I name the new kid?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
mamacheryl 1-10-2008 @ 9:51AM
I liked the name Ben, and it took me three times of suggesting it to my husband before he agreed that we should give our son that name. His middle name is Christopher after my husband.
I was going to name our daughter Somerset because I had a dream once where I was playing with a little girl with dark hair in pigtails, and I asked her what her name was, and she said, "You know my name, Mommy. My name is Somerset." I'd never heard of it as a girl's name before. I loved it. But when I saw my little 10-week-old baby on the ultrasound, my first thought was, "That's my daughter Anna." I didn't know it was a girl yet, and I hadn't really thought about the name Anna.
So she became Anna Kathryn. Her middle name is my mom's first name. Not because I want her to be like my mother, but to honor my mom because she's a special lady.
Cheryl at http://redpens-diapers.blogspot.com
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Melissa 1-10-2008 @ 9:52AM
Well, I can't tell you what to name your kid, since it seems like we have different tastes in names. I'd never consider Redwood, so I'm thinking I'm on the opposite end of the name spectrum.
My first son is named for his father. I wanted to tribute my father in my second son, so his middle name is my father's middle name. (My brother is named for my father, so I didn't want to use the first name out of respect to my brother.)
The first name was much, much harder. We knew we were having a boy, so I went through one of those baby name websites and wrote down every name that I liked. Then, I narrowed it down to my top 10. I gave that list to my husband. He narrowed it down to 3 from that list. Then, we talked about our child, and what sort of person we imagined the 3 names would turn out to be. We picked the name we picked because - we thought - he could be anything in the world with that name, no matter what profession or lifestyle he chose.
So, maybe, instead of thinking of a name that has meaning in the word, maybe you could think of a name that espouses the hopes you have for your children. Look at names, and imagine what sort of a person has that name. If you named him/her Redwood, what kind of a person would he/she grow up to be? What kind of life would he/she have? How does that mesh with what you'd hope for him/her?
We give our children many things, but, most of all, we give them our hopes for a happy, fulfilled life. That's what I wanted in a name.
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Sandyone 1-10-2008 @ 10:06AM
Mom and Dad pick the names. Kids can throw out suggestions, but the baby is ours, we'll name him/her!
None of my older kids like the name we have picked out for our coming baby. Too bad. They'll learn to like it!
You could name your new kid "Sandy". It works for a girl, it works for a boy. And you'll always think of me!
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Marcia 1-10-2008 @ 10:42AM
I would take into consideration your first 2 children's names as well when trying to decide. Personally, if I had 2 with common names, I wouldn't want to make the 3rd something completely unheard of.
When we were chosing for our daughter, we looked around at a bunch of the personalized stuff available in the stores. We wanted something that was in neither of our families and something classic. We settled with Victoria and her middle name is from my sister's middle name because she passed away at 3 years old. We didn't want to chose a name from a living member that might create jealousy from someone else that felt they deserved the honor in the opposite family.
For a girl, I like the name Sophia. It's cute and not so common around here. For a boy, we were going to choose Jacob or Ryan. Neither of those names are in our huge families.
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lisa 1-10-2008 @ 10:42AM
i named our first born son with the name i loved but i let his dad give him the middle name which i absolutely despised but it was a 4th generational name....its funny my son loves it...i still cringe....lol....when our daughter was born i got to pick both and i did not use a family name..i used a name that just seemed to fit simply her...it made my ex mother-in-law so angry cause i didnt name her after her or any of her family...my mom did not care...she was burdened to be named after a family member and she despised it so she was pleased that i picked a name that suited my daughter....and not someones feelings...anywho...by the time my new husbands and i found out we were pregnant and found out that she was a girl....we came to her name together and she has a beautiful yet sassy name and she is both beautiful and sassy...we are wanting another and we believe we have been given the name already so pick the names that you believe show who your child is...but please dont let the other kids pick....i had a friend whose sister named her and so they are terry and perry...uggggh....oh yeah dont name the child while you are under the influence of the great hospital drugs...it wont sound so great when the drugs are worn off...lol
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Kim 1-10-2008 @ 10:43AM
We found out the gender of baby #1 at 12 weeks. At week 38 we still didn't have a boy name. When discussions began we both agreed girl names were easier. My husband said he had always liked "Eleanor". I liked Ella a lot, but it was getting popular, so I said if we ever had another baby (unlikely, I thought at the time) and it was a girl we could use Eleanor.
Back to week 38 of pregnancy #1...we each made independent top 10 lists after we agreed there would be no names beginning in C, D, J, or K. After we compared lists, and I stopped giggling about my husband's suggestion of Rupert, we found two names in common, Colin and Oliver. Colin began with a "banned" letter (but we still liked it well enough to put it on our lists in spite of the ban) so it was an easy choice to go with Oliver.
To be honest, Oliver was not very high on my list. My first choice was Henry, followed by Ian. Husband's list was alphabetized so I don't know his preferences.
For middle names, we let my mom choose Oliver's. No one was named for anyone on her side so she chose James, for her father. We worried a little about him being O.J. but knew that my niece who was due around the same time was going to name her son Owen James. We decided no one would pick on them about it if there were two of them. Owen arrived the day before Oliver.
We did end up having a second and found out we were having a girl at 13 weeks. We agreed to use Eleanor, as originally planned. And for Eleanor's middle name, I had six suggestions that I liked, all chosen for special people in our lives. My husband rejected all of them. I told him to make a suggestion and he said, "What was Eleanor Roosevelt's middle name?" She was Anna Eleanor, so that wasn't much help. From there he suggested "Rose". I didn't like it at first, mostly because I liked all my other ideas so much. After a few days I decided it was okay.
The state of PA tried putting Eleanor Renee on her birth certificate. We *really* didn't like that!
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Jenn D 1-10-2008 @ 10:44AM
Mary Beatrice Elizabeth is named after my husband and Grandmothers, and Frances Anne Louise is named after my husbands dad (his middle name was Francis) and both of our mothers (again, middle names). It was important to both of us that the names have a strong tie to family.
If we ever have a third (HAH! yeah right! Like I'll ever do that to myself again...) and it's a boy it will be James Thomas Crawford after our fathers and my Grandfather. If it's a girl we are at a loss...we have used up all the girl names we really like.
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aprilw 1-10-2008 @ 11:04AM
I'm not sure if I should admit this, but my younger son's name was inspired by a hot pink fuzzy monster puppet in a kid's TV show that airs on the BBC (the one on the right in this picture: http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1665000/images/_1666285_storytellers300.jpg
His name is Jackson and my older son loved that show - "Story Makers". One day we were watching it and I just turned to my husband and said "what about Jackson?" He just raised his eyebrows and nodded in a "hey, I actually like that!" kind of way, and that was it! It helps that "Jackson" is not very common here in the UK, less so than in the US.
My older son is named Calvin. We do like Calvin and Hobbes, but I don't think that was out main inspiration really. We had talked about loads of names but never picked one. When he was born and they asked us if he had a name yet we both said "What about Calvin?" and that was it.
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aprilw 1-10-2008 @ 11:06AM
Oh, and both boys have a middle name inspired by family.
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caitlin 1-10-2008 @ 11:12AM
I'm not allowed to name boys, because all of our male pets have a name that's related to Richard Dean Anderson somehow.
My son's first name is from my husband's favorite brother, who passed away several years before our son was born. His middle name is Welsh, and comes from my grandpa. If my son had been a girl, he would have been Elena "We'll figure t out a middle name when she's born".
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Val 1-10-2008 @ 11:49AM
We named both of our kids after family members.
Our first was a girl, but we wanted to name our first after my Dad. So we used his initials, J J, and came up with a name we both love...Joslyn Joelle.
When my son was born, we wanted again to name his after my Dad, and again used the same initials. But we threw in my Husband's grandfather's name also. His Grandfather was Jay, so we named him Jayden Joseph...Joseph being my Dad's middle name.
This worked for us...and we wanted them to have a connection to family.
Val
http://www.stinkyjohnjones.typepad.com
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LS 1-10-2008 @ 1:02PM
We used a much more practical approach to child-naming... it had to pass three criteria:
1) We both had to like it (obviously). This made it hard, because my husband has known a LOT of people that he didn't like who happened to have a name that I liked. And vice-versa, I guess.
2) It had to pass the "Pile of Humanity" test: will the name, when heard by other kids in his/her class, cause him/her to be at the bottom of a pile of humanity? Names that fell into this category were mostly old fashioned, like Agnes or Beuford. (because as much as we like to deny it, kids *still* make fun of other kids with weird names)
3) It had to pass the "yell out the back door" test. Seriously. When we landed on a name, I would actually go to the back door of our house and yell the full name: Johnathan Patrick Smith, Come In This House Right Now!!! My neighbors thought I was nuts, but it eventually proved to me that the name we chose wouldn't end up grating on my nerves in the next 20 years of constant use.
The criteria worked very well, and the three of us (our son, hubby and myself) are all happy with the name.
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Jennifer 1-10-2008 @ 1:11PM
Hubby and I had names picked before we even got pregnant...lol... We had been trying for a while though so it was on our minds. I am 8 weeks pregnant so we don't know yet what we are having but in total we want 2, a boy and a girl. Our boy will be names JAMES (for my uncle who is childless) ANDREW (for my husband) and our daughter will be MADISON (I wanted Madeline, he didn't, so we compromised) ANNE (my middle name, my mom's middle name...handed down through the oldest daughter). We wanted names that sounded dignified/professional as adults and we had to be careful to find names that work with our last name...
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bremarie03 1-10-2008 @ 1:23PM
If we'd given our older kids a say in naming our third child, she would be named Broccoli Lily (or possibly Lily Broccoli).
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bremarie03 1-10-2008 @ 1:23PM
If we'd given our older kids a say in naming our third child, she would be named Broccoli Lily (or possibly Lily Broccoli).
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bremarie03 1-10-2008 @ 1:24PM
If we'd given our older kids a say in naming our third child, she would be named Broccoli Lily (or possibly Lily Broccoli).
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bremarie03 1-10-2008 @ 1:25PM
bleh, sorry for the repeats, my computer stuttered!
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DaniGirl 1-10-2008 @ 1:28PM
Well, I'm about 20 days away from birthing boy #3, and I still have no idea what his name will be. I don't think I'll be going with suggestions from Simon and Tristan, my three and five year old, though. Their top choice was "Darth Luke". I have a bunch of online baby name links in a post at http://danigirl.ca/blog/2007/12/17/naming-the-player-to-be-named-later/, but am still without inspiration. I think we'll just have to wait until he's born and tells us what his name is.
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Alicia 1-10-2008 @ 2:32PM
My first born, a boy, was named after his grandfathers. Phillip William (it just so happens that hubby's name is Phillip too).
Our second, a girl, is named Anastasia Ivory. (Ivory is my Grandmother's name... and well quite frankly, I think it rocks!)
Our Third was named after my dad's family... his middle name anyway... his name is Jonas Karl.
The ONLY thing that I made sure was that I looked at the most popular name lists for 2-5 years pervious and if there was a name we liked anywhere in the top 100... it got nixed. I just didn't want my child to be Johnny R. or Jennifer R. like it was when I was in school.
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Dani 1-10-2008 @ 2:40PM
Naming our daughter was ridiculously difficult because we have completely opposing taste in names. Or at least, that's what it felt like. We settled on the name Anneliessa Belle, which then caught me all kinds of criticism from my family because the first name was hard to pronounce/spell and she'd go through life correcting people. I caved, which was stupid of me, and had to tell my fiance that I wanted to change the name we'd spent 6 months deciding on. He was furious, and rightfully so, but I stuck to my guns.
So, finally, my daughter's first name came from a name that a pregnant friend like and her husband didn't, and her middle name came from a suggestion by an employee at the hospital when I was in for yet another stress test. Miranda Paige. I love her name, though I do wish some part of it honored a family member, just because I think that kind of history is nice to have. My fiance was against family names, but has since agreed to allow me to use family names for middle names with future children, within reason. My Mom's middle name is Myrtle and he's forbidden me from saddling a child of ours with it.
In the future, I imagine I'd take Mia's name suggestions into account, but ultimately, my fiance and I will name our children. I'm not looking forward to the next fight over names, though.
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